That's a classic. I know how you feel!
Slim
I came to a disturbing realization today
by Stealth453 33 Replies latest jw friends
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freeme
i know how you feel stealth.
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ex-nj-jw
I don't pretend to do anything. I had enough of that growing up.
Now, I'm a woman; wife; mother; nurse; friend.....and there is no pretending in any of those!
nj
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poppers
You have had a powerful insight that can lead to a transformation in how life is experienced. Look closely to what is beneath those roles that have been imposed upon you and sustained by thinking. What are you now that you KNOW that you aren't what others, and yourself, have been saying about you? Rest quietly in your realization and allow the mind to stop looking for an identity and see what is found.
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Gopher
Stealth,
When I was younger and in the JW's, life always felt like a dress rehearsal. A practice session for a reality that would never come.
Now that I've been outside the JW's for a few years, I've had to "fake it till I make it". I think this is part of a normal growing process that every adult (JW, ex-JW or not) would hopefully experience at some point, but for those of us who lived a cloistered existence inside a fake, plastic Society -- this process happens later.
What we do now IS real. It counts.
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Stealth453
What we do now IS real. It counts.
Good point. Actually, you have all made good points.
Thank you...but don't stop.....I need the encouragement tonight.
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Blueblades
Stealth453, What does one do when their mate and themselves don't see eye to eye anymore? When one becomes just as controlling as the Watchtower? When your old now and can't leave your mate because financial issues won't allow separation. It's a struggle to live together, always tension, how to keep the peace while suffering internally.
What does one do? No choice but to live with it. That is a distubing reality for some married couples who are free from the Watchtower but not each other.
Blueblades
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Crumpet
Stealth what you have just described is a recognised psychological behavioural theory that we in fact all pretend or as someone said above "act" our roles and how convincing we are at those roles is the measure of our success. So dont feel bad about it or weird you have just gleaned something from the universes collective consciousness. I've been studying it for my degree recently - I think the theory was developed by someone called Erving Gossman back in the fifties in a book called The Presentation of Self. Its where we construct our identities by behaving like a recognised set of social rules that conform to that aspect of our character - whether it be father, teacher, brother, friend. We even adopt symobls and signals in forms of dress to match the role we have adopted.
By the way can I add I think from my point of view your portrayal in the role of friend is very convincing. You'll know what I mean.
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Paralipomenon
Come on Paul, stop joking around. I know it's you.
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Highlander
I think I know where you're coming from.
As dubs, we were given our 'cult personality' that took the place of our 'authentic personality'. I do believe that putting our true personality on the backburner, so to speak, really limits our growth as a individuals. For me, it seems as if a part of me is missing. Part of me that didn't experience life on an even playing field. Unfortunately I can't turn back the clock and undo the damage.