Your favorite bits of JW folklore

by B_Deserter 44 Replies latest jw experiences

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  tinker

  Some years back when the internet was first getting started I was on a email list of "JW Friends, Things to Share" or something like that. We got all kinds of sicky sweet notes and lots of 'experiences'

  One was about a young women studing with JW and her father was extremely opposed and also in the Mafia. He threatened her to stop going to meetings and study but she did not so he cut off one of her fingers. She continued to study and eventually he cut off several fingers before he saw the LIGHT. Somehow he began looking into the literature himself and low and behold he turned around his life and became a witless....er....witness. And the story goes this was an experience given at an assembly and the father and daughter were introduced to the audiance with the women holding up her fingerless hand.

  Now I live in a small town so everybody got this same 'experience' and all talked about it. One young handycapped sister even cried when she read it and talked to me about it. I was so angry that I did some writing to the moderator of the JW Friends site and ragged on her to STOP with the baloney.

  Another story went that a JW was invited to the White House as part of a school event and 'slipped' a Live Forever book to Pres Clinton. The secret service caught this but they backed off because they could see this literature could change the world.....er....yadda yadda....something about angels in there too.

  OMG!!!!! the majority of Dubs believe the stuff, that's the part that really scares me.
• 

  tinker

  oh yes, I was told the Dinosaur bones were fake and from the Devil. All that carbon dating was set up by Satan. I loved reading about dinosaurs so this broke my heart. We went to the LA museum of Natural History and those Big Bones, a real....er.....FAKE dinosaur. I told all the kids in school they were fake and my teacher was upset and gave me a bad grade. I proceded to go all through school believeing everything the science teachers taught were Lies! Never did pass biology becasue I refused to believe evolution.....oh the shame
• 

  TD

  Here's one that might actually be true and even if it's not, it's still funny:

  This was during the height of the smurf scare in the mid-1980's.

  A JW mother goes to the grocery store with her 3 year old, puts the child in the cart and commences shopping.

  In the course of going up and down the isles, the mother inadvertently parks the cart close to one of the toy displays that are strategically placed at just the right height for a child in a shopping cart. The mother crosses to the other side of the isle, leans down and picks up whatever she was looking for and returns to the cart.

  The child in the meantime, has leaned over and picked up a stuffed doll. It is, (You guessed it!) Papa smurf.

  Whether this JW woman actually believed that smurfs were deeeemonised, no one knows. However like most parents, she wasn't about to buy a toy just because the child has grabbed it from a store display. --She takes it from the child and unceremoniously, throws it back.

  Her aim is not that good though, and the smurf doll falls on the floor where she leaves it.

  A stock boy working on the same isle had just happened to glance at the child while it was holding the smurf. He now notices it on the floor. Thinking that the child dropped it accidently, he catches up with the pair on the next isle where the mother has again, temporarily parked the cart while she hunts for an elusive food item. The stock boy gives the smurf to the child and walks away.

  The mother returns to find the child again holding the toy. This time, the child is nowhere near a display. All the JW demon smurf stories she has ever heard come flooding back into her mind. She takes the smurf from the child, sets it on a canned food display and hurries away.

  About 15 minutes later, the same stock boy notices the smurf doll on the cans. Thinking that the child has again lost a toy that the mother intends to buy, he notices the pair at the pharmacy counter at the front of the store. The mother is picking up a perscription and because of the layout of the counter, the cart is again parked a short distance away. So yet again, she does not immediately notice when the stock boy returns the smurf to the happy child.

  As he's walking away, the mother for a second time sees that the smurf doll has mysteriously returned to the child. This time, it scares the living tar out of her and she doesn't make the connection to the stock boy's receding figure. She snatches the smurf, throws it as hard as she can, grabs the child out of the cart and hurries out of the store with only the medicine in her hand, leaving the groceries behind.

  ********

  The person who told this story claimed to be the stock boy. He didn't know anything about JW's at the time, but learned about them a few years later when he dated a JW. Parts of the story are obviously his own conjecture and mental reconstruction of the events that precipitated the mother's hasty exit from the store. --But it still makes me laugh anyway.
• 

  iveseenthelight

  KatitKitten, too funny! After one of those "I found a tract in a bin and now Im baptised" crappiola stoies a sis in my cong went around placing WT's and tracts in all teh neighbourhood bins. Bet she counted them as placements...
• 

  LaniB

  I remember being told the smurf doll story, but in the version I heard during the WT study the doll stood up and started yelling abuse and walked out of the hall. I also remember the two sisters with the angels behind them. The funniest one was the "I was once that guy who made the deal with Satan" story about the guy who wanted the JW girl. I can't remember if it was in a magazine, related at a meeting or at a assembly though.