Study articles I would love to comment on:

by OnTheWayOut 6 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I made this comment on Stilla's thread, but I thought it could be it's own thread.
    As the WTS starts the "Members only" study mags, it is possible that they will
    bring out newer topics that they didn't want the public mags to have.
    Joke or be serious (please joke more) but what study articles would you like to see?

    Study articles I would love to comment on:

    Selling Brooklyn Real Estate to Benefit God's People

    The Need to Double the Number of Assembly Halls

    Congregations Merging: An Indicator that the End is Near
    followed the next week by
    The End of Worldwide Growth: Another Indicator...

    Lawsuits Against Watchtower Are SOOOO Unchristian

  • IsaacJS2
    IsaacJS2
    Joke or be serious (please joke more) but what study articles would you like to see?

    1. Where does our money really come from? (Hint: suckers just like you! Ka-ching!)

    2. Elders: Crushing your will to live one stomp at a time.

    3. Feel that? No worries. It's just the Governing Body tightening your leash.

    4. Irrefutable proof! Jesus really has delegated his earthly authority to the Governing Body! (You open it and find that the pages are all blank)

    5. Swimsuit Issue: Elder's wives in high heels edition!! Woot! (No comment on the condition of the pages inside, though)

    6. This just in! We're full of crap. Sorry, our bad.

    7. Armageddon has already occured! If you didn't notice, then you might be totally screwed.

    8. Practical jokes you can play on Mormons! Tee hee!

    9. Young People Ask: Turns out it only rains when Jesus is crying. (And it's probably because of something you did!)

    10. Armageddon taking too long. (Maybe we're just full of it? I don't know...)

    11. Shunning: how ignoring people like a 6 year old will get people to do whatever you want

    12. Lochness Monster attacks WT Headquarters! Governing Body rescued by talking squirrels! Hurray!!

    13. Swimsuit Issue: The 20 Hottest Apostates Known To Watchtower Kind!

    14. Look, just do what we say. You know you're going to anyway. All right?

    15. Satan caught working on the screenplay for Dukes Of Hazzard 2 movie! (Men still flock to theaters to see Jessica Simpson in shorty shorts!)

    I could think up a hundred more. But I'm supposed to be taking it easy today on the old brain.

    Sure...

    IsaacJ

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    Gathering Together All the More So as You Behold the Day Drawing Near - New 15-minute meeting Monday Evenings!

    probable first paragraph: "Brothers, in view of the recent shortening of the Sunday public talk, the faithful and discreet slave has instituted a loving new provision - the Monday evening 15 minute re-cap of the Sunday program - let us appreciate this fine instruction to meet together all the more so as you behold the day drawing near!"

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Best study article ever:

    5. Swimsuit Issue: Elder's wives in high heels edition!!

    It keeps Sports Illustrated in the black, why not WT?

  • loosie
    loosie

    This just in! We're full of crap. Sorry, our bad.

    Armageddon taking too long. (Maybe we're just full of it? I don't know...)

    These are too funny.

    How about "Why it's for the best that we let that pedophile become an Elder"

  • RebelWife
    RebelWife
    Lochness Monster attacks WT Headquarters! Governing Body rescued by talking squirrels! Hurray!!

    Thanks. I think I broke something when I fell off my chair.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    We Are God's Earthly Representative: God Told Us So, We Tell You So.
    Since We Told You So, There is No Room For Doubt.

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