by BCberean 32 Replies latest social relationships
I think I just lost another man because of the 'sex WITHIN the confines of marriage' issue.
My sister said I should wait til I have them hooked before I make it clear where I stand.
Doesn't seem quite honest to me......but....I'm wondering if I'm somehow sabotaging the relationship.
No you need to find someone who has similar values. I think letting them know right up front is the thing to do. Then you are not leading anyone on. Maybe you need to rethink where you are meeting these men if they do not feel the way you do about moral issues?
This is a good man....
I wonder how many men do have this belief...veeeeery few I'd wager....not that I 'would' wager....don't do the gambling thing either
Strong, personal values are our own, and it is very important for us as individuals to stand by them. Honesty is always the best option, especially in something so important as a relationship. There is no point in misleading someone from the start of a relationship, if your most basic values are contradictive to each others, then the relationship truly isnt compatible from the start.
Hang in there, continue to be honest is my advice.. . The right man will stick around for the right reasons!
LTF
Thanx for the confirmation...good to know I'm not the only 'old school' girl around....just the other day an old flame called me that...also complimented me as to what a 'good' woman I was.....
to tell ya da trooooth...If I 'could' be a 'bad' girl.....I would.....but
tis not possible....I've tried....I spose I should be grateful
Well, you don't have to be dishonest, but then you don't have to put all your cards on the table before the first date either! How soon are you telling them. Are you waiting until they ask you to have sex with them or are you letting it come up naturally and casually in the conversation, if he turns it to sex. Or do you hit em over the head with it while your waiting for the first cocktail to be served?
Cog (presentation is everything!)
Well, you don't have to be dishonest, but then you don't have to put all your cards on the table before the first date either!
Good advice from CD. Please don't get asked on a date and say,
"Well, okay. Before we go, you should know that I won't have sex until our honeymoon
and I would like to have as many as 3 children before I reach 40."
But, discussing values on one of the first few dates (even the first one) and mentioning
this would save you some trouble later. I would recommend a second or third date for
such a specific, as a direct question from the man would seem too forward, so I would
guess the reverse, a forward statement unasked, would seem too much on a first date.
Hmmmmm....thanx for the input....could be I'm 'honestly' sabotaging...
yup...'presentation' is everything.....BUT...
what do I do about the guy I already ''hit on the head''
I gotta be honest...but...but....
what do I do about the guy I already ''hit on the head''
Call him. Many ladies like to wait for the guy to call.
You clubbed him, so he might back off.
If he brushes off your invitation to coffee or lunch or something,
you know he's outta there, but if he accepts then you were already
honest and can be freely discussing values with you.
I bet he brushes you off, but you don't know if you don't try.
I t finally sunk in...and he was making it's over noises....
I suggested he think about it for a week...
if I call him it would be like I was backing off from my position...wouldn't it.....grrrrr.......oh the high price of 'integrity.....
Besides....I be a 'chicken' with pride....he did such a good job of convincing me how much he cared...and how 'beautiful I am......
I'm finding it hard to accept that he could leave me....wonderful 'old school' me....
