No one said you have to have answers right away.Take your time and make a clear definded plan to improve your own life.Go to school if you need to.Find something you love to do and learn all you can about it and make it your job.That's what most happy sucessful people do.It's not an easy thing to do.But to make yourself happy is not selfish and it's not a bad thing.You deserve a life you love.You just have to work at it.It won't fall in your lap.
I am stuck in a life I don't want and can't see the way out
by Orgull 53 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
Dawn
Orgull - I think the first thing you need to come to realize is that you are not stuck. You have a difficult road ahead of you, but you are not trapped because you DO have choices and it is up to you which direction you want to head.
You are still young at 34 so don't make the mistake of thinking that it is too late to change your life. My recommendation is that you make a 10 year plan - where do you want to be in 10 years? Then outline the steps to get there and start in that direction. Just realizing that you have a way out will make you feel better.
Perhpas going back to college, even on-line courses. Since you are only working part-time you would probably qualify for financial aid and government grants. Getting your degree would open a lot of doors financially so you would not have to rely on your family so much. Not only that, but you could then afford to hire help for your parents and would not have to worry about their care also.
Take it from someone who made it out to the other side - don't stay trapped. Make a goal and work towards it.
-
mkr32208
The answer is pretty simple, GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Tell the elders your missing meetings because of classes if they start in with their $hit tell them you need to be able to make more money to support your aged parents! they can't very well tell you that scripturaly going to meetings and service is more important than that!
yes it will be hard but guess what life is. Man up!
-
AudeSapere
Like a few other have suggested, start taking some college classes.
I lived near a community college and just LOVED it. I started when I was 32. I found the night classes much more enjoyable than the day time classes. The teachers were happier to be teaching willing adults than often dis-interested teenagers.
An added benefit is that night classes usually meet just once a week.
Substitute one or two meeting nights for one or two classes. I can practically guarantee you will be happier.
And if you can find a local coffee shop to hang out and do your homework, you will soon meet other regulars at that shop, too. That can help you start building a social life.
Keep coming here, as well. You will find tremendous support on JWD.
We've been there.
-Denise.
-
avengers
Hey!
When I took a stand in 1999 I lost "everything".
My JW "friends" wouldn't talk to me, my kids wouldn't, my wife divorced me because I am a danger to her spirituality.
There was one big gap in my life. Nobody to talk to. Until I found this forum in 2001.
Then I realized, hell I'm not the one with the problem.
On the way out try and take as many with you as you can.
You're on the winning side.
The WT leaders are the losers, not you.
Andy
-
Mrs Smith
Baby steps. Take one day at a time. In the mean time there are some things you can do to make your exit a bit easier.
Start making friends outside of the org. so that when you do leave you will have a support system.
See if you can take a course of some sort that will better your education.
Even though you feel suck right now this is not going to be your lot in life and things do change. Sometimes very slowly but as longer you are pro active and take charge you'll be ok.
-
Crumpet
I would not be able to ignore them or pretend I was not home.
This is going to sound harsh, but grow some balls. And if they call again - grow a restraining order. You owe these sel-appointed police eff all - no, not even diplomacy. But if you insist on it - then tell them you went deaf!
-
nelly136
You're stuck at home taking care of two people.......how often do the jw's visit your parents to give you a break?
if they do come round you can invent a bible or study or two to go and see on your own and get some you time so you can get out of the house.
if they dont come round you could try asking them to come round more often cos you're at your wits end, then if they dont come round they wont hassle you if they dont see you at meetings cos you're overstressed overtired,( if your meeting attendance depends on getting more help from them they may leave you well alone.)
-
KW13
I know its hard being trapped between two worlds like this. One that holds no attraction for you but understands you, and the world you don't understand but you want to belong to.
It gets easier, as someone said. Believe me, one day you'll be sat there and thinking i've done it. When that day comes, you'll be the happiest man on earth.
Good luck and Congratulations on doing the big part, accepting the truth about the 'truth'.
-
metatron
Don't give up hope. Here's the solution:
You are chronically ill. You have migraine headaches and depression.
Reading your post, it's abundantly clear that YOU ARE DEPRESSED!
Run with it. Cancel a few talks because you have to lie down, your head hurts so much.
Then, gradually reduce your attendance and tell them you need to quit the school "temporarily".
Lots of other Witnesses are doing this.
metatron