overcompensating when leaving JWs?

by B_Deserter 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blondie
    blondie

    It's a social phenomenon. When external restraints are removed, some people go a little wild. Case in point, the social disintegration following the collapse of Communist Russia:

    http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1447353

    People who have internalised their values do not suffer the same turmoil.

    Sometime it takes someone who has never been a jw to put things in perspective. Rather than reject everything jw-connected I found it better to examine each thing in light of a non-jw context. jgnat, you have helped me do that. Blondie

  • Fe2O3Girl
    Fe2O3Girl

    I think one factor in this behaviour is the way that JWs demonise everyone who is not a JW. We were told so often that everyone on the outside are drunk, drug-taking, sleeping around, smoking and swearing constantly, that we thought that was normal behaviour.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    I dunno,

    Wild is a relative term. Life is about experiencing everything. The good, bad, ugly, smart, stupid, wild, crazy, mundane. beauty, sick, twisted, et ceteraaahh, et ceteraaahh.

    The more you experience the more you understand people.

    The less you experience, the more ignorant you are.

    Somethings are dangerous!!!! YES? Life is dangerous. Go out and get you some... life that is.

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    Rather than reject everything jw-connected I found it better to examine each thing in light of a non-jw context. jgnat, you have helped me do that.

    Awwww. That brought a tear to my eye. On the converse, associating with the EX-JW community has made me a sharper skeptic. I note the manipulative elements in my church sermons, and reject them. I stand more strong and alone in my faith. Thank you, JWD. Thank you, Blondie.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    B-desserter. That's an interesting thought you raise there.

    I left at 16 and I went immediately wild in every respect (minus tattoos and piercings), My reasoning was that now I was disfellowshipped I could do anything with impunity. I still didnt breach my personal morals and I still don't - they would be not sleeping with other people's husbands and wives, not stealing, not killing people. But all the other things were not commiting an injury to anyone other than myself and I also reasoned that Armageddon was just aroundf the corner and I should try and squeeze as much activity in as I could. Its amazing but once I was in the loving embrace of God's punishment of disfellowshipment I didnt feel especially guilty about anything - after all I was already being punished for it.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    I know I went wild when I got away from the cult's influence. I enrolled in college and earned a degree, I registered to vote and actually (gasp) exercised my right to vote, I attended an occasional church service, I volunteered for a variety of community projects, I stopped looking at people walking down the street as being bird food...the list goes on and on.

    What dishonor you bring upon your fine spiritual heritage! LOL!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I remember being told that people that leave the "truth" were always getting into every sort of trouble. They were all supposed to be promiscuous, druggies, smoking all the time, swearing all the time, always at parties, killing and maiming others with slightest provocation, stealing, and the like. They were not to be trusted for anything.

    What I have found out was nothing of the sort. It is true that some will go on a binge of drinking, smoking, promiscuity, and drug use. That doesn't mean that they are going to become violent and dishonest. Others will leave and not do anything way out of the norm (they might go ballistic come Christmas time, but they will not throw morals out the window).

    I never smoked before coming into the Tower, nor did I drink or use drugs. Nor was I big into parties, especially where there was extremely loud music and drugs. So, if I didn't do those things before, why am I going to start now? Especially since I have found what I feel are absolute morals--fully integrated honesty, along with not initiating the use of force or fraud against others (so much for my going on a robbing or stealing binge or killing others for trifles). And I refuse to do anything that is going to mess up my brain and my liver (all street drugs will do that). I also will not waste the time and money for a habit that is going to enslave me every half hour, give me a foul taste, and mess up my health--so I will not start smoking now that I have left the Tower.

    Instead, I have gone a bit wild with Christmas decorations. They already look pretty--and it isn't even August yet! I can't wait to get the Christmas tree up (I have to wait for the air conditioning season to wind down for that since it would get in the way of the cooled air). That's one thing that's going to do only a minimum of harm (due to LED bulbs, the electric cost will be minimal).

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    I rebelled early on, I did what was forbiden, I was wild for a time but I got it out of my system. I never did get a tat or do drugs.

  • mentalclearness
    mentalclearness

    well my story is this...at 19 I became inactive and I did everything..drugs, lots of sex, drinking..I guess I went wild...but then again that was kind of normal for the people around me who were my age....I ended up getting pregnant at 22 and of course considered this to be a lesson learned from not obeying Jah's principles...so I went back.....And for 10 years really tried to believe and be like everyone else...Led a wholesome life, etc..basically with the idea I would be blessed more...self interested completely....and now I realized as I see the children around me that I don't want that for my kids and don't want my kids to feel so repressed they have to "pop" like I did...I notice that many people who have been raised in the organization go through the same thing...but what really surprises me is that I see people who have left who have absolutely no morals...They lie, break up families, steal...things that many "worldly" people wouldn't imagine...I think alot has to do with age as well...Obviously now at 31 I don't plan on going clubbing and doing drugs or having sex outside a serious relationship...but I think it's kind of normal if you've grown up so repressed that as soon as you leave you "experiment". but it's just a phase until you figure things out...I don't know if this has shed any light on the subject....

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I've always been a tightly coiled spring when I was inside. Once I got out, I sprung. That's it. Being so compressed/oppressed for so long and then suddenly becoming free can make a person feel like they won the lottery. They go crazy for a time then usually settle down after the newness wears off, if they didn't go too far off the deep end and begin an addiction.

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