overcompensating when leaving JWs?

by B_Deserter 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • B_Deserter
    B_Deserter

    Ever notice this phenomenon? Seems like a lot of people that leave in their early 20s tend to become wild party animals as soon as they leave da troof, getting tattoos, piercings and the like and going almost overboard with it. Anyone ever experience this? I guess I don't understand how someone can feel comfortable doing things they've been forbidden to their entire lives within literally a few weeks after leaving. I suppose if you've always wanted to do some things, but I can't help but wonder how most people don't experience some sort of mental hang-up about it.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    I never considered myself a JW, my dad made me get baptized, go to meetings, fs, comment - it wasn't something that I wanted to do.

    So, when I left the org the only thing I did different is not doing anything JW. I think it's called being your own person, thinking for yourself.......

    Why would you generalize something like that, I think people are individual and we all don't think the same or make the same choices, good bad or indifferent.

    nj

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    I guess I don't understand how someone can feel comfortable doing things they've been forbidden to their entire lives

    Expanding past your comfort zone is all part of healing and a big part of personal growth. It's sweeter when you make the conscious decision to push past.

    -Denise. (No tats or odd piercings yet, but did skydive for a similar reason.)

  • emptywords
    emptywords

    It's not just those in their early twenties, I was much older than that and went wild.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    It's a social phenomenon. When external restraints are removed, some people go a little wild. Case in point, the social disintegration following the collapse of Communist Russia:

    http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1447353

    People who have internalised their values do not suffer the same turmoil.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Fascinating topic, B_Deserter.

    I've done things I never thought I would since I have discontued my association with Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I have no regrets.

    I agree that one should show restraint in certain matters.

    Going from "we don't do that because Jehovah doesn't like it"...to..."should I or shouldn't I, and why or why not?" is a long way to travel in a short time.

    'Do no harm' seems to be a good way to live.

    We're all still figuring this all out.

    I fear the one saying that they have it all straight.

    Once again, thank you for this subject, B_D.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    I was pretty wild for a while, after leaving the JWs, and this was in my early 30s. Then common sense kicked in and I settled down without having done too much damage - didn't get addicted to drugs for instance or pick up an STD.

  • Marcel
    Marcel

    its something many ppl do when they are set free. of course it helps the WTS locking up the others saying: "seeee, what happened to brother x or group y when they left the truth??! only in the truth you're saved!!!!1111oneoneeleven"

    i fell for this too.

  • frozen one
    frozen one

    I know I went wild when I got away from the cult's influence. I enrolled in college and earned a degree, I registered to vote and actually (gasp) exercised my right to vote, I attended an occasional church service, I volunteered for a variety of community projects, I stopped looking at people walking down the street as being bird food...the list goes on and on.

  • emptywords
    emptywords

    frozen one says "I stopped looking at people walking down the street as being bird food...the list goes on and on."

    comment of the decade.

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