3 months, not even a phone call about my late mother from the Dubs.....

by WingCommander 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • emptywords
    emptywords

    hortensia says..... It's all moonshine and love bombing, no substance.

    aint that the truth.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Wing,

    (((HUGS!!))) It is just UNBELIEVABLE!! You must be so very angry, and rightfully so!! I am angry and sadened for you!! We are so sorry about the loss of your mother, and want you to know we are here for you!! ((HUGS!!))

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • skeptic1914
    skeptic1914

    Sorry for the loss WC. My Mom also passed away 3 months ago. Many from her congregation and mine came to the funeral home and the later talk at the KH (my wife and I are still occasional mtg attenders). There were a few in her cong who on a consistent, long-term basis demonstrated Christian love for my Mom. I even got an "official" sympathy visit from 2 elders. Besides that, no phone calls, no cards from any witness.

    This past Sunday, the brother giving the PT made the assertion that love only exists within "God's organization". Experiences like yours show not only that love DOES exist outside the bounds of JWs but is often sadly lacking inside the so-called "spiritual paradise".

    I am more convinced each day that the "body of Christ" (those He recognizes as his followers, those within whom the holy spirit dwells and thus those who REALLY "love one another") is a spiritual entity that completely transcends the imperfect, denominational "boxes" humans have created.

    Skeptic1914

  • rose petal
    rose petal

    Wingcommander, sorry for your loss. One thing that I remembered when reading your post was in Steve Hassan's book. He said that one definition of a cult is that they never have seriously ill or disabled people in a cult. You're supposed to look after the cult, the cult will never look after you. If you can't keep up, you're out. That is a sad indictment on the JW's, isn't it? rose petal

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    I just wanted to write and respond to you all for your warm thoughts and say that I appreciate you all! It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who has felt this way or been treated this way. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise though; when my mother's father passed away in 1989 of lung cancer, my family got NO support or comfort from the JW's at all. As a matter of fact, I was with my mother at a District Convention when an older, long time JW friend of the family asked how my mother was doing. When she stated her father had just passed, the first question out of his mouth was, "Oh....was he a JW?" No words of comfort, sympathy, etc....just a question of whether he was a JW or not....like that mattered somehow to my mother's heavy heart! We were just appaulled at this lack of emotion and caring. Like someone else stated.....if your relative isn't a JW, well then you are just supposed to act like they don't exist anymore. That is so heartless and cold.

    Just thought I'd relate that. Thank you all again for your kind words.

    - Wing Commander

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    My sincere condolences, WC. When you consider shunning, the blood issue, the JW's anti-charity stance, indeed, the entire attitude of rejoicing over tragedy and disasters, you see that the WTS has instilled a cold, hard streak in their followers.

  • Eliveleth
    Eliveleth

    Wing Commander,

    So sorry about your mom. Losing a parent is such a traumatic thing. It is even more devastating when you feel that your friends do not care.

    My husband and I were JWs for 50+ years. The last few years of their lives both our mothers lived with us. When we were disfellowshipped a year and a half before they both died, no one came to vist my mom who was from another congregation (but most of our congregation knew her). Joe's mom was visited by a couple of sisters from the Spanish Congregation that she had attended a couple of times, but no one from our congregation. It was as if they were disfellowshipped by association (living with us). She was actually quite ill (and the congregation elders knew it) before we were disfellowshipped. We had begun to see the lack of caring in the congregation, which was one of the things that got us to thinking. My husband "stepped down" from being an elder several years before we were disfellowshipped and he said that sitting in the congregation gave him to opportunity to observe.more clearly how the elders proclaimed their "love" but their actions did not show it.

    We were disfellowshipped in December, 1983 (actually we stopped going to meetings months before we were disfellowshipped) and we have found there are hundreds, thousands of kind, caring people out in the "world". We have wonderful neighbors (who we ignored as JWs). The witnesses always told us that "worldly people" were immoral, unkind, unloving. We believed that for all those years. But when we had no other friends (all the ones in the organization we thought were our friends all those years refused to speak to us) these people reached out to us. And they did not care that we had been JWs all our lives. They were just friends. There are wonderful people in the WT organization as well as jerks. The same kind of mix you find in the world. I know you will find friends who will accept you for who you are and not because of what you believe.

    Love and hugs,

    E

    Our website: www.geocities.com/veliveleth

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