3 months, not even a phone call about my late mother from the Dubs.....

by WingCommander 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    So......it has been 3 months since my mother passed away and not ONE, not ONE witness has called, stopped by, or even sent a card to me! It hit me today. I mean, I must have gotten like 50 sympathy cards in the mail from her worldly relatives and co-workers, as well as NUMEROUS phone calls, but not one witness has done anything! I mean, what planet do these people live on? My mother was a witness in good standing for over 25 years!

    I will admit that a nice elder whom I grew up around gave a very nice memorial talk (not the standard drab) at her service at the funeral home, and I'm thankful to him. But he, his wife, and 2 other witness were the only JW's at her service on a Saturday afternoon out of a crowd of about 70 that attended. Thinking back, I'm aghast. Where is the "love" that is always preached from the podium as being a sign of the "true Christian Congregation"? Granted, my mother was all but inactive the last 5 years, but she had many friends and was well liked and a very generous and kind individual.

    I'm sickened. This was the same treatment my late mother and myself recieved after my father died as well. My mom was appalled, and now I understand why! In your most trying moments, your most desperate time of need, these people couldn't care less as long as they get their field service time in. In all honesty, I could have dropped dead and no one would have known....and along the same lines, if I hadn't called the P.O. to tell him of her condition, they'd still be dropping off literature in her front storm door, non the wiser!

    The only real comfort I felt was from my own prayer asking God for forgiveness of her sins, and to take her whole life into consideration when the Resurrection comes. I also asked for guidance and strength harder that I have ever prayed before and somehow felt it come over me. (This was before and during her passing)

    I wish I knew which way to turn. I went back to a few Sunday meetings, hoping maybe someone would see me there and give a damn, but all I get is fake smiles and greetings for me to keep coming back, but with no follow-ups at my home, etc. I find the whole situation strange and pathetic all at the same time. All the while, a non-demoninational Pastor keeps stopping by my house every 3 weeks asking about me, preaching about being Born-Again (which is a strange concept for a life-long JW), and showing geniune affection and interest. He regularily goes door-to-door with his Bible in my neighbourhood and others. I find it amazing that not just JW's have their "field ministry".

    Confused,

    - Wing Commander

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom, no one deserves that kind of treatment, JW's are the most unloving selfish, self serving maggots that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. Sorry for the rant.

  • Mum
    Mum

    Sincere condolences on the loss of your mother.

    It is when we are down that we learn who our true friends are. Now you know for sure.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Wing commander

    So very sorry to hear about you mother passing away. You mentioned that she was a kind person. That is a wonderful thing to have said about you. She must have been a very good mom.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    WC - I could have written your post - well, in fact I wrote one almost identical to yours almost three years back now.

    My mom believed it was the truth since 1960 till her death in 2004. Most of that time she was an 'inactive' Jw - but she was known by everyone in the KH. And she was my mother - and I was still a JW in good standing [though perhaps headed for bad standing shortly thereafter] when she died.

    The only Jw's at my mom's informal memorial visitation at the funeral home, were two that I made special effort to call and ask to come. Other than that - not one damn call, not one damn letter, not one damn card, not one damn flower was sent to either her or me. It was sickening - my stomach still knotts up when thinking of it. Her funeral was 'boycotted' due to my 'drifting' away from the organization [I was not yet apostate in the way we think of it - just not going to meetings at that point].

    These people all knew her, and they sure knew me - an active Jw for better than 35 years! These people do not understand love or friendship - it has been programmed out of them.

    I feel your anguish brother.

    Jeff

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost my dad 2 months ago. I haven't heard a peep from one JW and I'm not dfd or da'd... but to be honest, I didn't expect to. They know I am inactive so I am dead to them.

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    Painfully sad

    Bluebladestake care

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    ((((((((((((((((((((Wing Comander)))))))))))))))))))))))

    nj

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    I'm so sorry for your loss, WingCommander.

    There are lots of loving and caring people in the world, such as your visiting Pastor. I would be wary of anyone preaching at you, though. I just think that any important decisions should preferably not be made in times of grief (like joining a new religion, or rejoining an old one).

    The way the JWs treated you and your mother is appalling.

    GGG

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain caused by the un-loving so called "spiritual family" that exists among JW's . This is the same sort of fine "witness" that was given to my worldly Dad through my mom's illness . Four yrs. ago she had a serious surgery that resulted in a major stroke .She was in a coma for a month and in the hospital for over three months . We were still active at the time one Sunday four of my Jw friends came by the hospital for a visit ..that was it ....for three months ! This was a major turning point for me ..I then realized how conditional their love really was .... Mom had been very active since 1958 until her surgery . After the stroke she needed some assistance...... where were her friends then ? They faded away very quickly ......My Dad was appalled ...after all those years of her helping others . Before she died this year , Dad said only the sister they pay to clean for them ever regularly stopped over . The grand shepards came by maybe once a year . At the funeral tons of old friends came by , but as my Dad felt ...a little to late to matter to her don't you think .

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