Ok hold on here for a second:
The reason I have used the words nigger, dyke, fag etc...they are all words that are used in a derogatory way which result in a knee jerk reaction by many though obviously not all that says this is just not right.
I found a site that perhaps explains why Some feel the way I do:
http://www.autismvox.com/hateful-speech-the-word-retard/
Everyone knows someone who is challenged in some way — who has autism or cancer, who is head-injured or depressed, who has war wounds, who is old — people who need extra time or help or support to get along in the world.
And in our world today, we assist these people. We — most of us — do not mock them.
There are exceptions.
And here is another site:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retard
1. retard
2362 up, 766 down A person born with a mental condition and therefore has to work a million times harder to be able to do simple things (such as learn and communicate) that we take for granted. On top of this, a retard will usually suffer a lot of ridicule from society because people fear what they do not understand. The people who choose to make fun of the mental retarded tend to be complete morons and cannot comprehend that these people have feelings and emotions just like anyone else.
I find it amusing that saying somebody has cancer would not be taken as a joke and yet, using another disease such as mental retarded as an insult is common among society, and many do not realize that it is very offensive and that there is something seriously wrong about it.
A person who is mentally retarded has a problem. Using the words retard, mentally challenged etc to basically say you are being stupid, is taking a serious issue and making light of it.
Yes I do realize that we can use Whatever word we want to be demeaning.
How far do we go?
I don't know. I really don't. I didn't say let's outlaw the word. I said it's politically incorrect, I said its a kneejerk reaction word that causes pain. It takes a condition that has caused thousands, millions I would guess over several centuries much grief.
Do you realize that had my daughter been born 50 years ago or less, the doctors would likely have told me to put her in a home. They told this to many parents. People like my daughter and worse are aborted every day because their life holds little value to people because they aren't perfect enough. People like my daughter were shuffled away into homes because people didn't want to even look at them. They didn't have a choice. Doesn't matter what they have offered to society by way of teaching us humility, compassion, strength etc.
Using the word Retard as an insult is an insult to people who don't deserve to be insulted more.
Is George Bush a retard? I can't even believe I would have to explain this.
Yes language shows our ignorance.
Mary as I said to Ipsec it's a good thing that YOU don't get your nose bent out of shape, it's good YOU are thick skinned.
Did you not catch that not everyone is YOU? So what because YOU don't get YOUR nose bent out of shape that's all that matters?
So what if it damages the psyche of a kid struggling to overcome various problems. As long as it doesn't bother YOU it's all ok.
Is that what you are saying?
I don't THINK you mean that, I don't THINK you are really like that. I do think that you might not realize that the question is not whether or not it bothers you, the question is Why does it bother Some people and should that be considered when using speech?
Rollerdave, that is all I ask and what many (like me) ask. If you Know that it pisses someone off then why use it?
Leslie: When I was in school I had a friend whose brother (they were white) dated a black girl. She had problem calling this girl a n and making comments. Til I just about punched her in the nose. There was a girl with CP and learning disabilities..no one ever talked to her. She was literally scared of the students. She wouldn't talk to anyone. I tried talking to her she just still wouldn't talk and stayed away from us. ......Point being kids being mean and cruel in the schoolyards is very common. And being the one to say "Cut it out" and standing up for what one believes is right or against what is wrong is not easy.
Unique1: Daft ahhh seems like a good word (so far). N jokes are just so not cool. I am not totally hip on the blonde jokes either. Especially today. Yesterday at the market the cashier was a young teenage girl, maybe 16 or so. Gorgeous blonde hair. I commented on it. She was surprised. Mentioned that it was close to her natural color, darker actually. She says that the problem is guys don't take her seriously. She was in the science club and gets grades, but guys don't take her seriously and people call her names blonde this or that, dumb blonde. Now as opposed to the thicker skinned crowd, she was genuinely hurt. It didn't matter how hard she tried, people thought of her as a joke. Because she was a blonde. So.....knowing now, having a face....yeah, maybe even the blonde jokes (as Mary mentioned) just aren't funny when you know that they have hurtful connotations.
Good for you for standing up for what you think is right.
Para: Yeah you are right. They would be called stupid, not smart etc...Remember Forrest Gump? That was how, I believe, he referred to himself, not smart. It might have been too that he referred to his son as being Smart.
These people, the ones that they used to call stupid.....were also stuck in asylums and 'homes' because they (doctors and parents) were afraid of them, didn't know what to do with them....Even that was a slam. They were just too stupid to add anything to society.
I *think* I see this health professional's point. There Are times the word Should be used. There Are times it Is appropriate and trying to get around it shouldn't always be necessary etc. and Yes people abuse it. Can we put measures in place to stop it?
Stopping it isn't going to happen. But I can tell people in MY circle, do not use that term. And they can choose to continue to use it and I can choose to cut off the friendship.If I'm not getting it, please correct me. It isn't going to help me if I'm not getting your point.
Sixofnine: I can only speak for how we will deal with our daughter. Yes we will be open with her about it. Although she is expected to be a normal kid as much as she can. In many cases, esp in the US (don't know about uk and europe) a person with a diagnoses is included in the decision making as MUCH as possible.
It's interesting, researchers are finding that people who can't do anything CAN communicate basic things. Hunger, pain, joy etc And that is actually a big thing for us because our daughter is non verbal. So the school uses both sign lanugage and PECS. PECS is a system which uses pictures to identify people, places, things and thoughts etc. And people who are limited to the smallest movements, maybe a finger can use these PECS to show what they need. Therefore we can effectively inlude them on decisions. To do that means we need to be open with them about their disability/abilities. By doing this, as has been pointed out we can basically prepare them for what is out there. We have to.
BUT
Just because we prepare them for what is out there, this does not take away the pain and the hurt that gets felt when a person uses the R word.
Put yourselves in the shoes of a person who cannot speak, they look a little different. They don't learn as fast, but they are learning.
Your diagnosis is Mental Retardation. They don't know WHY. They just know that your mental growth is stunted (this happens alot btw).
You are integrated into school with higher functioning "normal" students.
They Know you are mentally retarded.
The daft kid next to you does something that would make even YOU wonder what is wrong with them?
And the kids say, what are you a retard?
You can react in a variety of ways. And I am NOT going to say that these people ALWAYS respond the way I do or others do.
I DO know and HAVE seen people be crushed by the usage of the word in that way. So I know that it happens. This is not a what if...this actually happens.
I have been on the grounds of the Special Olympics and ya know what, if someone walked onto the Pentathon field and used that word, ooooooooooooooh there would be trouble.
Ipsec: Point taken. IF you experienced a person being hurt repeatedly...don't you think after a while you might just want to tell the person using the word to have some consideration?
Nark: Ok, uhm.......I think I get your point. I suppose we could say I'm a bit daft at the moment.
I think you're basically saying let's cut out the euphemisms and use respectful speech all the way around so that we Don't hurt people?
Ok I KNOW that there are a few people I missed and I am really sorry...but right now my daughter is running around eating peaches for lunch and if I don't get up there and give her some solid food.......ick.
The one thing I give my sister L credit for is this...she was incredibly careful about not allowing insulting words in her home or presence. And really tried to teach her kids to express themselves without resorting to just being insulting.