by zack 26 Replies latest jw friends
I would say this if I had a spouse and if they were being bugged at the hall about me...,
''Tell them, 'do you want the truth? or do you just want to make the appearance that you care? If you really are concerned, why don't you call him/her and ask him/her yourself?' ''
That's a perfect reply, Cellist.
hey, zack, welcome to jwd and freedom from mind control! yes, they want us to feel absolutely miserable. they want all their dire predictions to come true, because if we are happier on the outside than on the inside and word gets around that things in our life are actually better, it punches holes in their spiritual authority and places doubt in the good sheep's minds.........my mom used to get asked about me, too, after i left and was df'd and she told them that i was happy and doing very well.........it really boggled their minds.
terri
Zack- Mr. Flipper here. Yes it's true the"friends" will either think you are upset about something or spiritually weak, or both. Don't worry about what they think. Just tell your wife to tell them," He's down over a few things, we are taking care of it, thanks anyway." People need to mind their own business, believe me the more quietly you can fade and not say much to people if anything, it will go smoother for you. As for your wife and your relationship, just be honest with her, carefully. Don't assume her faithfulness to you is more important than her faithfulness to that cult. Be careful what you tell her in fading so she won't use it against you in a jc court of law. Tell her you love her, you have'nt changed, but you are just needing time to ponder things. If she loves you unconditionally, she'll understand. Good luck my friend, peace out, Mr. Flipper
I'm glad I tossed the Medical Directive in the shredder a couple of months ago.
lol...........good for you, zack...........that gave ME great satisfaction, also..........to go and tell my Drs. to remove all the jw stuff on blood from my file as i was no longer one.
Be careful what you tell her in fading so she won't use it against you in a jc court of law.
Mr Flipper's wise words should be taken seriously.Many's the JW partner who has become too overly burdened with what their trusting spouse has shared in confidence with them. The next thing, the elders have this distraught partner unburdening herself to them.
It's not so much that a JW partner is untrustworthy - it's more they underestimate their ability just to listen to what you have to say. She may fully intend to keep a confidence - but believe me, if she starts to become burdened by it, she'll make a bee-line for the elders to unburden herself.
Towards the end of our conversation, she asks: But what do i tell the friends when they ask about you?
In my case, I knew I didnt want to play mind games with those cretins. I would tell my wife to tell them to take a flying fuxx through a rolling donut.
That shut her and them both up.
I got the quotation from Kurt Vonnegot.
Stil married since 72.
My wife left the borg 10 years after me. She grew some balls.
Zack......My only piece of advice is to be patient and pick your battles carefully. My wife and I were both raised in the organization. We have been married 33 years and raised all three of our kids as JWs. When I first began to discover the truth about the truth I didn't know what would happen. My wife found my 'Crisis of Conscience' and 'Gentile Times' book and threw them away. She was emotionally distraught that I would even question. But I hung in there and over time was able to help her see that I had not lost my mind. Today, although none of us are DF or DA we have all moved on with our lives and are all happier for it. In fact, just recently, my son had finally had enough and is fading out. So, even though the social aspects of leaving the organization have been tough, I am finally at peace with myself and I can honestly say that I am happier and more content than ever before. In fact, my youngest daughter, she's 24, told me just a couple of days ago that very thing. The fade has taken years and is not completely over, but at least I know that things are going to be fine.
Take the pressure off of your wife about what she should tell her "friends": If they ask how you are or if they tell her to tell you hello, instruct her to say, "That's nice, but I'm sure he'd rather hear it directly from you." Then she doesn't have to offer any explaination about you. The flip side of it is: You have to be prepared to answer them. My guess is they won't go to the trouble of calling you to ask. Your wife is a convenience. They can ask her about you and clear their consciences and forget about you, without having to deal with you personally.
yeah, they like to think all who leave are bitter & unhappy
For that very reason, I love the look on everyone's faces when they ask in a dour tone "Are you OK?" Expecting me to break down and cry or at least look real guilty and I respond, "I'm doing great!!"
