A little Biblical humor (groan) (page 2)

ninja

did you know jehovah is the universal tailor....well in Amos he says he will repair the peoples breeches (Amos 9:11) 11 “‘In that day I shall raise up the booth of David that is fallen, and I shall certainly repair their breaches. . .

AllAlongTheWatchtower

Lot's wife; a real pillar of the community.

First insurance salesmen? Noah's sons, they provided blanket coverage.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Did you know that baseball is mentioned in the bible? It says so right in Genesis: In the big inning...

And now, for the REST of the story...

In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the prodigal son came home. The giants and the angels were rained out, then Rebecca went to the well with the pitcher, where she proceeded to light up on a Camel.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

I'm waiting for the WT with this revised thinking, based upon Revelation 8:1.

How do we know there are no women among the 144,000?

http://bible.cc/revelation/8-1.htm

(My apologies in advance to you fine ladies out there amongst us!)

bikerchic

You wise acres! I shoulda known you could add to it being X-Bible students and all.

How do we know there are no women among the 144,000?
http://bible.cc/revelation/8-1.htm

Awe that was the one I was thinking about......don't have a Bible to look it up but it's something about silence eh? Bwhahahahaaa!

You guys and gals crack me up, keep 'em coming!

SWALKER

LOL!!!

Swalker

Gopher

Apparently hey had a drug problem in Jerusalem's temple.

2 Chronicles 12:5

"let the priests take for themselves, each one from his acquaintance; and let them, for their part, repair the cracks of the house wherever any CRACK is found."

brinjen

Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar-he was on grass for seven years.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
B. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
C. A Honda-because the apostles were all in one Accord.
D. II Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle. "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. The ark was built three stories high and the top story had a window to let light in. But, how did they get light to the bottom two stories?
A. They used floodlights.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q. If Goliath was resurrected, would you want to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.

Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
A. Because in Job 16:12, 14, 16 we read: "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up; and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible?
A. It's in Kings, where it says David sat on the throne for forty years.

A little Biblical humor (groan)

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