by Metamorphosis 22 Replies latest jw friends
It's making me want to rush the convincing of my wife - i want confrontation now, and i want it to go good, and i want her out with me! how can you folks do this to me... before starting on this site i was just trying to get by myself w/ my decision - see what you've done!!!! now i'm convinced i have to talk to her and make her see what i see!! how could you???
Morph 'tongue in cheek'
I know what you mean, i felt that way too. There's just so much information here huh.
if you love her, and want to really help her out, wait it out. like the bible says, jehovah will give you the correct words at the correct time.
At one time I wanted to confront my wife with the "facts" about the truth. The reality was that her mind was and is closed to change. She is and always will be a faithful dub. I now accept that fact and avoid religious discussions. The alternative is divorce if they do not change and you can't accept that. What do YOU really want to happen?? By the way I got out in 1982 and have had this situation ever since.
Meta,
You sound like one of those new really zealous J-dubs who want to go out and convert the world !! Except, in reverse.
But like they say in the organization, sometimes an other-believing mate can be won "without a word". Except, in reverse.
Morph,
Remember when we first became JW's? There is an old expression.... to put ones in a box for 6 months before you let them out, since they cause more damage then help. It is no different once you learn the "truth" about the "lie." Baby steps with her or she will completely freak out on you. Take time to take it all in yourself first.....Then begin a planned decisive way to speak to her. Think, think, think first. She is still indoctrinated by the borg, and even though she loves you...she also has been brainwashed to tell elders about apostates. Even if it is your own family. Keep coming back here and vent away.
Leslie
Down boy ! Aww... take your time...keep reading then, start planting the appropriate seeds for your wife. Hopefully, she'll see what you have already. Be careful about rushing her...I took a long time with my now jw ex-wife. I started questioning things and my meeting attendance was spotty and she went straight to the Elders, telling them I was "spiritually sick" and needed their brand of 'help'.
Within a couple of years, I got demoted to "spiritually dangerous" and she left. So be careful !
And Good Luck ! <------I love getting to say that now !
Rabbit
I agree with having patience and waiting it out. I want my sister out so bad. She is miserable and disagrees with most of the beliefs, but she won't hear a thing about it. I was on cloud 9 when I found out the "truth" about the Borg and got freedom. I wanted to share everything with her. Her response was that I was "witness-bashing". It's been a few years and she isn't quite so defensive anymore. So when she complains about Brooklyn, I just tell her she's right. Hopefully someday she'll want to know. Until she wants it, it's a lost cause.
What do YOU really want to happen??
Of course i really would like her to see the facts as I do and decide that she no longer needs that mind control either. However, no matter how much I would love that, I can live with her not changing her mind as long as she accepts me. So best possible scenerio - she realizes the falsehoods within the org and we support each other in the exit, next best she doesn't agree but lets me do my thing without emotional repurcussions and constant guilt trips. I don't want to think about the other choices right now. That's the sad thing - I'm willing to accept her for whoever she wants to be, but don't know if she can return the favor - I have no doubt of her love but we all have seen the control that's there. Her having a zillion relatives around that are deeply ingrained will not help the situation. She'll either see the logic or she won't - that's why I know I have to present it at the right time in the right way - but where you can make a crack in the society's concrete maybe something will grow.
Just frustrating when you already have the open mind and all the evidence...
It's making me want to rush the convincing of my wife - i want confrontation now, and i want it to go good, and i want her out with me!
Be careful.
Warlock
