Hilarious Mary.
I have a suggestion though. With all of the hi-tech that we have access to these days, a soda straw and frozen peas seem like the '50s.
Bring this up-to-date. Take a laser pointer to the assembly. Many nowadays look like writing pens and use 3A batteries which last a loooong time.
Sit in a location where you will not be easily detected. Point the laser at the platform and 'light' someone.
If you are sitting far away from the stage, you may need to duct tape the pointer to your binoculars - which gives you two advantages. 1 - you are able to 'see' your targets better, and 2 - being discovered is even slimmer.
Laser pointers are fun.
Perhaps you could even 'red dot' the forehead of the speaker. Right between the eyes.
Of course, you have to realize that the further you sit from the stage, the larger the 'point' of the laser becomes. If too far away, it can become the size of a basketball, so try to get as close as possible.
Regards,
Jim TX
P.S. This only works at JW conventions. Do not try this at presidential conferences, or NRA conventions.