by besty 45 Replies latest jw friends
Please delete my name from your records as I've done a bad thing.
I enjoy going door-to-door so much that last fall I went on October 31st. Except, I held my bag open as the householders threw sweets and treats into my bookbag.
I am just now coming down from my sugar-high, and don't remember some details, but I think I also said 'Trick or Treat!'
I also counted the time on my timeslip at the end of the month.
Something simple:
Dear brothers: I find I can no longer attend meetings or participate in field service for the following reasons:
(To borrow a few excuses from Jake Blues):
IT"S NOT MY FAULT. I SWEAR IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
I had a flat tire.
I missed my exit on the freeway.
An old friend came in from out of town.
I was sick.
I am sick.
(and from John Lennon):
I had a vision of a flaming pie, and it said "You are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses."
and a few of my own:
My boss down at the carwash makes me work on meeting nights.
I had a bad hair day.
I spilled tomato juice all over the kitchen and had to clean it up.
My car won't start.
There is no bus service to my neighborhood.
Of course, the mother-in-law excuse and the multiple personality excuse are the best. I'm keeping those in my memory bank forever.
Regards,
SandraC
LOL! You guys are too funny- I fell in love with the mother-in law one.
Dear Brothers:
I have chosen to disassociate myself because for years i have been battling a Gay demon that has finally gotten the better of me. I tried years to fight it but I have been living a lie.
At meetings with Jehovahs wonderful nonjudgemental people, i would just wait for someone in front of me to raise their hand and comment so Brother Nice Ass could walk by me... (by the way can you ask him if he's seen a silk black tie of mine? I think I left it on his bedpost one day after field service...)
It was me who had redecorated the back study hall because anyone with a brain knows that those books should be color-coordinated, and not chronological. Really!
And i told every I was going to buy a van for my first car- for the preaching work, but the GAY DEMON overpowered me and I bought a subaru. A yellow subaru!
Do not think I have not tried to battle this demon of mine, but when I was away from the hall, I would listen to Madonna all day long. In my tank top and cut off jeans. You should be warened that I may be lost to Jeyhovah and his organization. Please stay far away for me because i fear what this demon will make me do with other men such as yourselves. If you were to even come on my front porch I fear that you may catch a case of butt secks since i can no longer control myself- even the mailman has to carry mase now to keep me away.
I will miss you all and i know you will miss me since no one else will be able to carry a tune when it is time to sing during the meeting. Well except Brother Nice Ass, as I have made him reach pitches and notes that not even his wife has heard before. Farewell!
May Madonna Bless Your Hearts
Bumped
HHahahaha thanks for bumping this for a new crowd of forum members to enjoy!
still here y'all.. :-)
Dear brothers.
For medical reasons, I no longer wish to be known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I am allergic to hypocrisy, I find I can no longer digest lies and I am pedophile intolerant. My doctor advices me that I must be in a supportive, gossip free environment at all times, and, a I find sitting through hours of meetings gives me a sore backside. Going door to door to tell people they will be destroyed by God just makes me wheeze, so that's out, and the thought of going to a summer convention cause me to break out in hives.
My doctor suggests I engage in regular enjoyable recreation, have freedom of thought and speech and make my own choices in entertainment. For life long good health I am instructed to make personal education and employment goals and to take doses of science and logic, which means I must give up pretending I don't believe in evolution.
So, as you can see, being a Jehovah's Witness just isn't good for me any more.
Sincere yours
Lisa Rose
Oh boy, I haven't laughed so much since I saw my grandmothers knickers alight !
I will give it some thought and come back with my very own D A letter.
Great thread Besty, and good to see you still here !
Please take my formal DA letter, because it is sad to inform you that I have helped disfellowshipped people namly a young woman 18 that was date raped and then DF for not coming to the elders before her pregnancy started to show. I took her in when no one else would and fed and cared for her. I also love ones that are not JW's, do not judge nor condemn anyone. I show love before faith, and help the poor and the sick when I can. I proclaim Jesus, not Jehovah and generally have compassion for everyone. I have never molested a child and would never not report a molester to the police. Last but not least I do not NOT get excited at the idea of seeing dead children and babies laying on the ground at the day of Jah.
