I want a hut and a rock for a washing board. Mrs. Grizzly Adams...

by Sparkplug 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparkplug

    So to top off my wonderful set of horrible happenings as of late...my washer was broke. So after a couple of weeks I put off going down the street and borrowing an unused one from a friends garage.

    I was told it was buried and hard to get out, so I took a bit of time tackling the job. Well it was not so buried and I just got it put into place a few weeks ago.

    So dig this. Your parents, so have to know what I am talking about...My youngest caught bugs at school. So that means wash everything. All bedding all clothes all floors with lysol and others bleach. Scrub till you drop and above all else do the hair and do a TON of laundry.
    I had just had braids put in my hair, so there went that money down the tube and brushed mine just in case. No way am I risking that!

    So in the midst of all this, I have been fighting fleas since my mom went to the nursing home and my brother left the stupid dog I hate here when he went away on a business trip...

    Well we all know these things are hard to get gone So I am about pesticided and bombed till I am blue in the face, I have this pile of laundry that would kill an elephant, and well look as if it is not enough......

    The dryer breaks.

    No problem! It's Texas. I will just hang them out to dry. BUT silly as it is, it keeps raining. And well with the kids in school, I cannot get it all done.

    So solution is...take them to the laundry. BUT the car battery died last weekend, my daughter got tonsilitis (sp) and I ended up with a migraine for 3 days. More like 2 and 1/2, but I took the other half trying to get my sanity back. So I am sure this weekend I am going to get it all done. Wash all the clothes, go get a dryer, kick butt on the freaking mess I have going. Run to the pharmacy, do my shopping etc.

    But last night after work, the car dies again. CRAP!! So not being able to be late to work, I figure out a plan. I will ride my sons bike to the dart rail. Then take it two exits up, get off the rail and ride a mile or two to work on the bike. Right? Wrong...

    So most of my clothes are either wet, or dirty...so I try to borrow a t-shirt from my son. I put it on and take off on my bike. I get to the rail and I try to buy a month pass. If I don't end up needing it, my son will need it for he just let me know he has summer school......WELL!!! NOW!!! Suprise, thats a couple hundred... He so is paying it.

    I stop at the counter and try to buy a ticket with my debit card. They don't sell tickets there and I am informed that I can get a rail pass for a dollar at the little machine. WELL I don't have a FREAKING dollar on me!...About in tears because my backup plan that does not require putting anyone out is failing I beg a pass off of the rail guy....

    He looks at me and tells me "Don't make it a habit little lady!" Little lady? I want to say thank you and then kick his head in. What a jerk. But he gave me a pass and I am running out of time.

    So...I get on the rail, take it to the exit I need, hop on the bike and go to take off and WOW...I have a flat tire. Mother of a goat sucker! What the hell? So looking at the clock I now see myself about to get written up for being late, so I start to push the damn bike through the woods as fast as I can go. The woods are empty and I would have loved it, except for I am late, out of shape, pissed, scared to death of getting mugged, raped and murdered and nobody is going to know where I am.

    It starts to rain. FUDGEMUFFINS!!!! So crying, mad, breathing like an old smoking out of shape "young lady" that I am...I start to sob. Just freaking loose it. All the while thinking I have to push faster or I am going to be late.

    Legs aching, out of breath, sore, wet, crying and mad, I get to work. I cannot find a place to park it. So it looks as if I am not there, but really I am wandering about the building trying to set it down.

    Finally I get to my seat. Dry my eyes, clean it up, and pull myself together. I look down and the shirt my son tossed me says "Chicks dig my ride!" OMG....he did not do that to me.

    So then I had to go talk to the attendance manager and tell her what is up because I did not log into my phone on time. Mind you she is a lesbian and I am wearing a shirt that says "Chicks dig my ride!" Talk about an ice breaker!!!

    Then I get back to my chair and there is a message. It is my brother and he heard I needed a ride to work. I call him back and he starts to laugh as he tells me that he called my house and when he asked where I am the children bust out laughing that they sent their mom to work on a bike and she is wearing a "chicks dig my ride" shirt....

    Very funny.

    So, I make it through the day and I am going to go home and do laundry...but AH, the dryer does not work. I have a couple of choices...go dry it at my friends home, dry it at my brothers home, buy a dryer, or hang it out in the ...oh yeah, rain.

    Welll, my car is broke so one, two, three options are out and in the rain is not too smart. I want to buy a dryer. A new one because for all the used freaking dryers and washers I have purchased...I could have gotten a nice new one and it would be FREAKING WORKING. (One would think) The same goes with the washer. The one I bought does not agitate. So not only are my clothes getting dingier, they are all wet too. I am tired of borrowing, settling...etc. I want to go buy a freaking dryer but the damn car is broke. And so is the car. I have the money to fix it all...but I have to deposit it in the bank.. AHHHHH but the bank is far, the car is broke and the bike has a flat and well I need one of them to get to the bank, then get the car to the shop, the mom (thats me) to the dryer store and the rest I can do if I had half a prayer.

    Soooooooooooooooooo I am going to walk to the getting store. Get some damn dinner then, I am going to have a drink with the rum and soda I have in the closet and make a plan that I am not so sure I can follow to get my lard butt in shape. So when my clothes get dry...I might fit them....

  • Sparkplug

    Oh, but on the good side, I got the exterminator in today, and I did get a ride home.

    I tried to slither out of work so that nobody would notice, but my big boss caught me and would not take no for an answer. Tell me how silly I felt putting my bike in the back of his escalade? He has been trying to get me to show interest..Or any gal at work. lol and here I am looking a mess, wearing my lesbian pride T-shirt and putting my "ever so grown up into his "I make a ton of money" car. Yeah, I sure can impress 'em.

    At any rate. I am sure I cured him today, and with that said, I am looking forward to not having a damn dry blanket to sleep on tonight. LMAO!! Maybe I will wear all my old meeting clothes at once and have such a buzz I won't care. You think?

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Pardon me while I laugh at your pain Sparkplug. "Chicks Dig My Ride". That is too funny.

    Make sure you keep a copy of this story so you can re-read it in a year or two along with your favorite adult beverage.


    Open Mind

  • nvrgnbk

    As Open mind says, it's tough now Sparky, but you'll laugh at this day from hell soon enough, if you're not already.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Hey there Nvr!!!

    Nice to be on the same thread wit' ya.


    This too shall pass............................ (said the doctor to the guy who just swallowed a billiard ball.) Groan.

    Open Mind

  • Sparkplug

    Thanks you two....I am laughing already. It will pass. Tis' is life!

  • brinjen

    Sparkplug, I dedicate this song to you


  • nvrgnbk

    Hey Sparky! This oughta cheer you up.

    My 13 y.o. son says you're hawt!

    Tis all good.

  • Sparkplug

    brinjen- Now that is so funny....You know, I have done several things in that video. Now that is sad. Example walking into poles, baby puking, crashing on a motercross. Knocked over babies...Very funny indeed!

    And nvrgnbk~ You know that boy only digs my ride! I bet he has a working car before I do. Make sure to tell him to be nice to the old ladies when their bikes break and understand when he is the boss that it is possible to have an unrealistic year full of "nothing to serious" crap. And tell him thanks. Nice to hear that youth thinks age is hot and not just the opposite...you know, "beauty is youth". Tho I must say I am looking like a little kid with a pair of knee high converse, painter jeans, t- shirt and a baseball cap backwards. lol

  • nvrgnbk
    Tho I must say I am looking like a little kid with a pair of knee high converse, painter jeans, t- shirt and a baseball cap backwards. lol

    You're only piquing his interest with that description! LOL!

    Have a good one sis!

Share this