You know you're a JW if.. (page 3)

littlerockguy

you feel guilty after masterbating and fear you may become gay if you don't stop

middlechild

...you actually search everywhere for a cotton slip.

OnTheWayOut

You know every gas station and coffee shop in a 10 mile radius of your home,
how clean they are, and which ones lock the bathroom.

I remember some of the more popular ones:

You spent 3 days at a sports stadium without ever having a hot dog, beer, or peanuts
and never saw any sports.

You are a window washer with 5 different suits in the closet, and a big dry-cleaning bill.

you're one of 12 people crammed into a minivan trying to kill 2 hours of "Service", half heartedly looking for anyone to unleash a lure like - "Now doesn't the couple on the cover of this magazine look happy?".

Hortensia

you get mad if you don't get the christmas bonus, even though you don't celebrate christmas.

loosie

You don't know what it's like to sleep in on a saturday morning.... and you can't figure out why people are so annoyed when you wake them up early on a saturday morning.

Cold Creek Swimmer

...You condemn those who watch Harry Potter movies while you alphabetize your DVD's of "Wizard of Oz", Star Wars (all 6), The Little Mermaid..... Then when asked about what the difference is you say "There is a difference between Fantasy Magic and Real Magic."

When a special assembly day is mentioned, you start shopping for new clothes.

After you get puke sick drunk at the bar, you say it must have been alcohol poisoning.

AFTER pleasuring yourself, you pray for forgiveness.

You grow a goatee when on vacation, and shave it off just before meeting starts when you get back.

Laugh at a dirty joke when no dubs can see you.

Put on sunglasses and a hat to go into the strip-club and park your car 3 blocks away.

Go camping as an excuse to get wasted every night you are there.

Go to morning meeting Superbowl Sunday.

Fill your trash can with all the old mags you didn't place.

When you say "That movie looks so good-too bad it's rated R".

Rent R movies when your family is out of town and noone can see you.

You know you're a JW if..

White Dove

JH

PEC