BOILING UP

sweet pea

I feel like I am about to explode! Having spent the last few days immersed in this site, reading all your wonderful, funny, strange, thought provoking posts, together with all the experiences on www.silentlambs.com I just cannot believe what I have been a part of all these years. I am so angry inside - I am never, ever going to another meeting again but and want to tell all my closest friends (genuinely lovely non-muppet witnesses, although I am not naive in understanding how the mind controlling cult will influence their reactions and subsequent actions? and at this point I don't even care if they do DF/DA me - the truth must be told! I always used to think 'fair enough if someone wants to leave the truth, no big deal but why go all angry and bitter/apostate and try and get everyone else out - now I know why and am beginning to even relish the idea of being called one (easy tiger, I hear you say :-)) if it means just one other friend sees the light and doesn't waste the rest of their life. I would also be tempted to sue anyone who made an announcement as I wouldn't have commited any crime/sin by just exposing all the lies. Out of interest, has anyone ever sued an elder for an announcement? Sorry to rant and rave but I just had to get this off my chest (the sleepless nights are taking their toll).

Zico

Welcome to the board! You won't be successful if you try to sue an elder, courts tend not to get involved in religious disputes. When you first try to help a JW see through the mind control, you'll be amazed at how hard it is. If you help one out, you will be doing very well.

jwfacts

Hi Sweat Pea,

I just read your other thread, it is great that you were able to see through it all so quickly. Your husband must be glad, as it would have been hard for him to see you going every week.

Before you talk to anyone I recommend taking a few weeks to let your emotions settle. You will be d/f instantly as soon as the elders get an inkling that you are telling anyone it is not the truth. It is often better to fade away without making waves. That way you can work out over time who else has doubts and maybe get them thinking without getting into trouble.

When the elders had their j/c meeting with me I went to a lawyer and threatened them formally with a letter that I would sue if they made any announcements. It did not stop them, and my lawyer advised me that I could not win if I took it to court. The reason that the wording of the d/f announcement changed recently to "xxx is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" is for legal reasons. Their is nothing technically wrong or slanderous with that statement, so nothing to sue over. Even with the previous wording people that took it to court rarely ever won.

It is quite unfair being raised a JW, as your life will not be quite right after leaving. You can't stay when you know it is false, yet leaving means giving up friends, family and your heritage. You have to learn to put it behind and move on, but not give up hope that over time family members will leave. Most of my family are still in, but luckily a few close friends have left. I find that I value my exJW friends, as there is a common bond. It took me a while to learn how to relate to normal people with normal lives, though now I have close "worldly" friends that I trust even more than I did my JW ones.

ex-nj-jw

Hey sweet pea,

It will be very difficult to get them to see what you see!! You may want to take a few days, months, years even to heal yourself before you try to get another out.

And you do need healing, I've been out 24 years and I'm still healing!

nj

Crumpet

Before you talk to anyone I recommend taking a few weeks to let your emotions settle. You will be d/f instantly as soon as the elders get an inkling that you are telling anyone it is not the truth. It is often better to fade away without making waves. That way you can work out over time who else has doubts and maybe get them thinking without getting into trouble.

Sweetpea this is really good advice. Allow everything to settle. be angry for now - its such an impact when you see through all the lies and then you keep getting these epiphanies "forehead slapping" moments I think of them. I only realised none of it was true about 3 years ago when I came here and had already been out for a few years.

The ripples of impact keep going too and its only now I am beginning to live my life like I actually have one rather than a death sentence.

i love your posts so far - so raw and honest. Its lovely to have you here! I hope you get some sleep soon though!

IP_SEC

Make the choice that is right for you. Some people feel they can/must fade. I could not. I could not allow myself to still be viewed as complicit with an org that hides child molesters (etc etc) I knew it had to be a clean break. I didnt want to have to hide who I was and what I was doing. I didnt want the elders calling on me to try and help me. Did I pay a price? Yep. Was it worth it? Yep. Did I lose my family? Some of them. Did I lose my friends? Ya but I guess they were not really my friends in the first place huh? I've made new family and friends. They accept me for who I am. I would not change a thing.

OnTheWayOut

Great news for you. Some are asking you to wait awhile before boiling over.

That's good advice. You don't necessarily have to tame it down, though. If you are all fired up, stay that way.
But giving time to act will allow you to know how to act. You don't have to fade if you are just ready to leave.

You can stay away from meetings and service right now, and wait to decide who can be helped. This way,
you aren't DF'ed right away. If your friends can be helped some, you can help them some. You can always
boil over later if there's no helping them.

BluesBrother

Hello and Welcome (the more Brits the better)

Did you ever hear the old J W expression that "For the first six months after hearing the truth a person ought to be locked up, because they cannot contain themselves from speaking to all and sundry about it" Well, perhaps that can be true in reverse also...

I know of many honest and decent people in the Organization and only wish that they could see what I see , especially family . Sadly, I have found that they don't want to know. It is just like trying to get anyone to accept points in "the ministry" , People are comfortable in their lives and dont want to rock the boat.

But don't let us old miseries put you off. If you can take the consequences, Go for it and tell 'em what they need to know. They may thank you one day

BOILING UP

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