by mavie 29 Replies latest jw friends
I wasn't born a dub I came in later so I was already aware that the world wasn't as bad as the WTS made them out to be and indeed had kept several childhood friends there. There are all sorts of people there from the most saintly to the most beastly so one can pick and choose who to associate with. It's the golden abundance of the world.
I can imagine how difficult it is for one born a dub to adjust to the non JW society given all the propaganda they were exposed to.
I realized these people were just like me, searching.
I felt connected to all of humanity.
I wanted to be a part of the world.
I find "wordly"people to be more authentic, I was amaze at how comfortable I felt arownd them. Now when I with my old jaydub "friends" I always feel juged by them and they always make assumptions about me. It's like there trying to find something wrong with me. They always make comments on how I look( I have long hair and sometimes I have a beard). Most of the time they don't know what to say to me. So I much rather spend time with my "wordly" friends.
My impression of "worldly folks" was much the same as that already expressed.
I also reflected that some of the Witnesses I knew (certainly not ALL, just some) were slime-balls even by "worldly" standards, they did things business-wise that NONE of the non-witnesses I now know would ever do, etc.
Also, I got to know one family with 3 teenage kids at home fairly early in my exit....I recall being most surprised at their parenting skills, their closeness with their kids, and their common-sense approach to dealing with their teens. They were not at all permissive, were very much concerned about where the kids were when not at home, what movies they went to, etc. etc. And the teens did/and do respect these parents, something I absolutely did not expect to see "in the world".......
I found most "worldly people" to be far less interested in sexual misconduct (either in action or talking about it) than I expected (or that I had observed and/or known about as an elder)...... Did you ever "add up" how many witnesses you knew/know that were involved in adultery, for example??? I think the percentage is even more than in the general population, perhaps because of not having the fear of a "fiery hell"???
My two cents.
---Dan
I had a hard time adjusting to making friends at work or elsewhere. I was so effectively trained to dismiss these people from friendship that I found it hard to change my ways. Plus I have a spouse still in and it's not like he wants to associate with "worldly people".
But it's not just his problem, it is mine too. I feel like I don't really fit in with any group. I think this will improve with time though. It is hard to be a fader. You are not in and not really totally out of it either. Like some strange in-between land that you are relagated to. They still have their tendrils into you whether you realize it or not.
Like I didn't really fit in with them either, but it didn't take long to get over that notion. They're not AR like jdubyas and are non-judgmental. Very easy to be friends with 'em.
AND...they're much more fun to be with!
Frannie
I agree - they were nicer than I had been led to believe, and more genuine in that they didn't seem to hide who they were behind a pretense of righteousness. And more fun, definitely.
I got to realize that they were just normal people, not demonized as portrayed. Many of them had even more christian qualities than the so called "good association" at the Hall.
I went to my first Xmas party. The food was good, the people were very friendly. The "worldly people" are doctors nurses and technicians. good people to work with!
I was surprised to find out how kind, caring and friendly the "worldly" people were.
They weren't nearly as stuffy as alot of the witness folks were.
