My mom wants me to go to memorial (page 2)

carla

If you start asking questions it only gets their hopes up that you are interested, they don't get that you are trying to plant seeds of course. Then it often turns into a heated discussion.

Personally, there are a few things in life I wouldn't do even for mom. But then my mom always wanted us to be our own person even if she didn't always agree with our choices.

Why do jw's try and drag people to the reject Jesus memorial every year? They bring people that they know will never become a jw. So why do it? To look righteous to the cong? To have the numbers increase?

moshe

Make a deal with your Mother- I'll give up two hours of my time for your memorial, if you will give me two hours of your time to volunteer with me at a soup kitchen to help the poor and homeless that Jesus commanded us to take care of.

LovesDubs

You were never a JW and she is pushing this on you? And if she "stops talking to you" because you didnt go will she also stop talking to every other human being on the planet who didnt go? If your relationship with your mother is based on spiritual blackmail, then mom needs to step back. Or step off.

You might point out that if you belong to the Ku Klux Klan and you asked her to go to one of your meetings with you and she refused, you wouldnt stop talking to her because it bothered HER conscience to go and appear to support a group like that.

Like Phil says..."You teach people how to treat you." If you acquiesce...this will continue and you will come to dread every Memorial because you know this inevitable fight will ensue.

unique1

Do you believe that you are going to heaven? If so, then tell her the reason you won't go is that you believe that you are going to heaven and therefore you should partake of the wine and the bread. It offends you that they expect you to just pass it by. You want to follow Jesus command to do this in rememberance of me but you want to do the entire thing, not just halfassed.

Just an idea.

Good Luck.

betterdaze

Hi WANTMOMBACK. This is so sad. There may be a way of handling it nicely so you and your sister don't need to cave in again.

Go. Make good use of your time there.

Ask to speak with an elder about how your mother compels you — an non-interested adult — to attend or be cut off. Ask him to show you where Jesus commanded this behavior, especially at his Memorial. He'll have to admit, you're technically not even of the "other sheep!" Ask him to explain to you (in front of mom) why she should shun you, and where this is taught in the scriptures, and how it applies in your case. You are no different than a non-interested householder, or a study who just doesn't feel like attending, and should be afforded the same respect.

Let her push and push and push. Let her do it in front of an elder, and see if he doesn't kindly "adjust" her thinking for you. The fact is, she is giving a very, very bad witness and this reflects on the whole congregation. The elders bear a responsibility in this matter just as much as your mother does.

Make a JW parent accountable for his/her selfish unChristian unscriptural actions, and s/he will usually back down from threats and emotional blackmail. (I don't mean to attack your mom, I am pointing out the nature of her actions as I interpret them from your description.) Use their own bible to do so, and involve the elders if you must.

Good luck!

~Sue

OnTheWayOut

I like the soup kitchen suggestion. You have to decide what to do, but many here say
it might be best to make mom happy for the short meeting.

My spin on these suggestions- Say:
Mom, I will go to the Memorial, only because it's important to you. But you have to
promise not to ask me to attend ANY other meetings, whatsoever.
If you break that promise, then I want you to promise that you will attend (whatever you
want to suggest) with me.