My mom wants me to go to memorial

WANTMOMBACK

Ever since I can remember I have attended the memorial only for my mothers sake though. I am not a JW nor do I have any desire to ever become one but I know it means alot to my mom. Although now I have been enlightened on many things about her religion that I do not want any part of and I DO NOT want to go. If I were to tell her these things I have learned she would stop speaking to me and I don't want to risk that. She is so entrenched in this religion that I have no hope of ever getting her out. But she is my mother and I love her. I guess what I am asking is how do I tell her I don't want to go this year when I have been going all along for several years? B/T/W She is not the kind of person who will accept " I just don't want to go." SHe will push and push and push until she feels she has been given a decent and acceptable answer. My sister keeps telling me "You'll go, you'll go." and I keep telling her I won't she is not a JW either and she will cave into my mom and go. Help me give her a short and nice (no attacking her, I love her very much, she can't help that she is in a crazy religion!) answer!!!! Thanks in advance for any help

ButtLight

Tell her you will go, and an hour before, tell her you have the stomache flu........and your afraid of not making it to the bathroom on time if you go! Probably not the advice you were looking for.........but it works.

Paralipomenon

If attending one meeting for an hour each year preserves your relationship with your mother, I'd say take the pill and swallow it. It sounds like she's of the mindset that as long as you attend the memorial, you're still a good person.

And she would be right, since you are doing it to keep your mother happy.

If you have your own religious or moral beliefs that bother you with going, then tell her those. But by your own account you feel she'd stop talking to you if you don't go.

It's a tough position, but you need to decide what's more important to you, your personal beliefs or your relationship with your mother.

Scully

You could always offer her a deal along the lines of "I'll go to your Memorial, if the weekend before that you come to the local church bazaar and buy a raffle ticket for the prize quilt."

blondie

So many JWs think that great tribulation/armageddon/the end will break out during the memorial when all JWs will be there.

Of course, they forget the time change and that all 17 million memorial attendees could not possibly be at the meeting at the same time. They forget the ones in nursing homes, or housebound, or in hospitals, etc.

If she leaves you alone the rest of the year, then consider it like going to a funeral.

Blondie

Madame Quixote

I'm with Buttlight on this one; a good case of stomach flu at the eleventh hour is your best defense.

willyloman

I'm in favor of preserving your relationship w your mom at all costs, or at least at this small cost. An hour of your time once a year won't kill you. it's obvious you're not going to be persuaded to join the cult. You're not a dub, and don't intend to be one. It makes your mom happy. Just do it. But be sure you tell her, often, that you re doing it because it's important to her, but not to you, and that should she ever decide to stop going you'd be just as happy to take her to Easter services on Sunday. And she can pick the church.

steve2

Sounds like this one thing keeps her happy so just go for her. It's not unusual for we humans to do all sorts of things for the sake of peace in our relationships. Provided your attendance does not violate your own conscience, go. I'd say there's no need for bartering with her. Just go.

Mrs Smith

Go and use it as an opportunity to ask her some questions about her beliefs that will make her think. Always try to plant that little seed of doubt. You could ask her why she doesn't partake and doesn't Jesus tell us all to do this?

jgnat

Pushy moms and salesmen don't take no for an answer because it works. To cure them, don't cave. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Every JW goes nuts trying to drag up friends and relatives this time of year, it's not just your mom. It's not like you're special or anything.

One technique to get them to stop is to keep repeating your answer. This is called the "broken record" technique.

"No, I am not interested"

but bla bla bla

"That's interesting, but I am still not interested."

bla bla bla

"I'm not going to argue with you, I am still not interested. Goodbye."

I've put off two pushy phone salesmen this week. Even after I told them I wasn't interested, they just kept on going like the energizer bunny. I still said 'no', and they still had to end the call, disappointed. I am supremely disappointed because both salesmen were in the financial industry, one my very own bank!

The representative from my bank said it was a courtesy call. But he didn't ask about my satisfaction with the bank or discuss options with my accounts. He tried to sell me additional health insurance! Finally I interrupted him, "Wait a minute, you haven't even taken a breath yet. I am not interested in extra insurance." He responded, "I did so take a breath." (I don't know why they think arguing with a caller is going to increase their chances. Are people more likely cave if they keep them talking?) I said, "I am still not interested in getting extra insurance" and that ended it.

I was blindsided with the second representative when I called to activate a credit card. "There is one more thing I would like to discuss with you." He tried to sell me a shopper's discount card. Forty-five day free trial, if I continue there will be a yearly charge of xxx, yada yada...."Wait a minute" I interrupted, "I have a couple questions. Have I given you permission to mail me information on this deal of yours?" He said yes. "If I say yes to the forty-five free trial, am I committed?" He told me I could cancel at any time. "Then please DO NOT SEND ME THE PACKAGE. Thank you"

Neither salesman was happy, but it's my life. I am not responsible for their commission or their happiness. I know it's harder with mothers, but the same principles apply.

My mom wants me to go to memorial

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