When is it time to tell your adult children get the Blank out? (page 3)

Tyrone van leyen

Staying at home until the right age can be beneficial but after a certain point it actually causes damage. I think a young one should be raised to know that at some point they will have to leave home and live a life supprting themselves. Explain that you will always be there for advice and help if it is really needed. Independance should be taught as a good thing, but there are steps to take in preparing a young one for this step in growth. The world can be very trying.

In my parents home they had great difficulty in letting go of there children but also had a great deal of trouble in seeing there kids the way they want to be seen. Outside of the witnesses structure there was nothing you could do to make them proud. My brother stayed at home and remained a virgin until the age of 30. His twin brother moved next door. I left at the age of 19 knowing nothing at all about life. There was no support or help or advice. There was no nice way to leave because of the witnesses. This led me down the wrong path. Although I left sooner, my learning curve was warped because of the witnesses. I was seeeing things through the wrong eyes and was terribly disturbed.

The most important thing to me would have been to know that my parents loved me but because I left the religion too. I always had a monkey on my back. I think the age I left was fine, but there was no preparation for it. If you want kids to leave at a certain point they must have the idea put in there heads and feel comfortable with it or you will just be sending them to the nearest welfare office. i left for my own sanity and I'm still glad I did but the witnesses turned it into a no win scenario. I left as shamed person and was villified with no knowledge or confidence for the world. My frame of my mind was that the end was coming and nothing mattered. Shame on you witness!

I stayed away as long as I possibly could to avoid their incessant indoctrination and now I am receiving help after 20 years of wasted life. The Jehovah's witnesses DO NOT PREPARE ANYONE FOR LIVING IN THE WORLD. That is there goal. If you were prepared for living in the real world you sure wouldn't be a witless. If they had given me support mentally whenthey should have,they wouldn't have to help me now. I WOULD BE HELPING THEM. Which is the way things are supposed to be when you're agingand have kids.

Perry

I think that it's different for every child. I was told that on a number of occasions. Each time I held a job a little longer until finally one day I decided I liked money more than getting stoned and looking at all the pretty colors in my friend's wooded backyard. But, that's just me.

OUTLAW

I`ve let my kids come and go through the years and have had very little trouble with them..If they disrespect your home,they have 60 days to find a new one..Case Closed...OUTLAW

5go

Well I am one of those adult children living at home. My parents knew what would of happened if I would been charged rent I would of lived in a tent and been a druggy.( like a lot of my dub friends) Hell screw the tent, park bench is fine. My family was homeless at one time hard to believe even for me. They allow me to stay to keep me from being a total sociopath.

junctions-wife

Ok I have to admit, I live with my parents and grandmother at the good old age of 31. But I have responsibilty's I work 2 jobs one full-time and one part-time. I pay my bills and help with grocery's. I clean my own room and help with the dishes and the outside yard work. Since I don't have alot of free time of my own I am busy with other things. But then again my parents put their foot down when I first moved in. And before we moved out here to Grandma's I was paying half the rent. But in your case his butt would have been out for the first two days. Enough is Enough!

Amanda

jelcat8224

my thoughts exactly lonleysheep!!!! Sounds like you have made it very easy for him to stay ... When I was sixteen and started driving I either made my car payment or I had no car. It was that simple. you need to step in with some TOUGH LOVE!!! Good luck!!

Finally-Free

Refuse to pay $25/ week rent that we would give back to him when he leaves

Ok, I'll make you a deal. I'll move in for $25 a week and you don't even have to give it back when I leave, if I ever do. I'll clean my room and even cook once a week.

W

Mrs Smith

Life is tough, you don't always have someone that bails you out. The sooner kids learn that the better. There are NO free rides in this world!

megsmomma

ABR.....It is time for tough love. It sounds like your parenting has been coming from "guilt" love. (ie....you feel bad for making him leave so you clean his new place that you paid for, when you know darn well he won't care or appreciate it) You really are not doing him any favors. He (as any person) is capable of getting up for a full time job and if he doesn't want to clean....he can live in his mess at his own place. (It is embarassing when you want to have friends over and your place is gross) He could even get a roomate if he needs to. If I were you I would STOP helping this momnent...and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY...or he will still have you in his (dirty, smelly) back pocket!

(All this applies unless you think he has a mental issue...then get him help before you get out of his back pocket)

ex-nj-jw

Give him a written 30 day eviction notice. In it state all the reasons you have in this post.

You have gone way above and beyond the call of any parent, It's time he stood on his own two feet. He won't appreciate it until he see's just how hard it is. Tough love is tough on the kid but it's even worse on the parent. But in the end it benefits you both.

If you want to know my experience with this, PM me.

nj

When is it time to tell your adult children get the Blank out?

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