Well put Mustang. Nice post...
Was it really all my fault...??
by Casper 18 Replies latest jw friends
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darth frosty
I'll tell you 2 things casper, 1 like Ip_sec said your husband was probably better off for not being an elder. 2nd and most important your husband really loved you. Some men would desired that position so much, they would have tried to censure your free spirit and questioning attitude. The fact that it took you ten years to figure out what was going on tells you how he wanted not only to protect you, but for you to keep that attitude. You can bet your bottom dollar, the elders let him know why he wasn't made one. Obviously the price was not woth it for him. Just my .02.
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MsMcDucket
The fact that it took you ten years to figure out what was going on tells you how he wanted not only to protect you, but for you to keep that attitude.
That's, exactly, what I was thinking - that he loved you for it! He loved your attitude. I don't think he would of tried to change you for the world.
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rosalyn
Dearest Casper:
You were loved by one hell of a good man. Just keep remembering that.
Think of those poor kids and wives who had to be "beaten" into submission and he never admonished you?
You are one lucky woman and don't you feel guilty. You did him one big favour by questioning things. You did yourself a favour too.
This will be short post as I am off to work now but please know you are cherished
rosalyn
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greendawn
It's a high control organisation so they could have decided he can't properly control his household so he can't be an elder, but as said above, in retrospect who would want to be an elder and harm people while serving the heartless GB?
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OnTheWayOut
My Husband never once said, "Look, you are my problem"
So, am I thinking right on this ? Was I part or all of the Problem..??
If he was determined to make elder, and didn't care about your feelings and opinions, he would
have said, "Shut up, I want to make elder."He didn't say that, so he must have loved you for your independent thinking, and saw letting you
be the voice of reason as more important than ambitious goals in the congregation.Be glad you saved him from such a terrible assignment. He was able to be himself, too. He didn't
have to pretend to be something he wasn't. -
anewme
I thought your post was a very loving story about your husband. Just because he was never appointed as an elder didnt hurt him and might have saved your marriage in the long run.
Elders sacrifice their marriages quite a bit for the congregation. There is no retrieving the lost time together.
Just this weekend I heard that an elder's wife is dying of cancer. She is only 50.
I was an elders wife for 20 years. I know all time with a husband sacrificed for the Borg.
Your husband's sweet Christian spirit and love for you is a treasured memory both in your mind and God's.
Be at peace,
Anewme -
flipper
Casper, I agree that your husband loved you way above ambition in the borg...and that he was a good man. So sorry for your loss. I think he had a much happier life with you than if he'd been an elder, and that he admired your spirit and intelligence. Flipper
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Casper
Finally got everyone on their way....so, I could sit down, read and respond...
There are so many kind responses.. I truly Thank each and every one of you. I have no contact at all with any witnesses, and would never have been able to discuss such a thing with them anyway... People outside the Hall wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about...
That's what makes this board so wonderful. We've all been there in one way or another.
I don't feel I was a bad MS wife, I pioneered when I could, went to all the meetings, worked food service (when they had it) at each Assembly and Convention............did the school, got my hours...blah, blah... you know the drill. I just couldn't deal with the piddly little things.. for instance. ***WHY*** in our hall anyway....was it frowned upon and suggested that Sister's NOT wear belts.
The reason given to me... "It draws attention to their figure"...........aaaaccckkk............ still makes me, well you know...lol.
We had things like that dumped on us all the time. And everytime... I wanted to know why.
Cas