JW are total Bullies

by sandy 41 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Confession

  Even when I was a witness I would have taken other people's feelings and beliefs into consideration and thought it wrong to stick a J-dub up there to preach and count time

  Me too, Sandy. I once was asked to give a wedding talk for my ex-wife's niece. Even though I was an active JW, I tried very hard to make it a general talk. While based on scriptures, I never once mentioned the name "Jehovah." I even pulled back quite a bit on the 'woman being in subjection to the man' routine.

  Those funeral infomercials used to make me cringe too. I felt that--especially if the individual was not an active JW, but also if a good majority of the family weren't JWs--strong consideration should be given to those grieving people.

  So sorry about your grandma, sweetheart.

  Confession
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  The only way you'll see your mother/grandmother/friend/sister again is if you study the bible with J-dubs and go to meetings.

  Sorry for your loss. I am glad to hear that it brings some relief from the misery.
  This type of service to your family is aweful. My grandmother passed away and I was
  called to do the eulogy. She wasn't a J-dub, but my mom was. Mom did not ask for
  a J-dub service (I am a fader, Mom assumes I am spiritually okay, just a "little" disturbed
  at the organization). She knew that wasn't Grandma's beliefs.

  If the service is too heavy on their nonsense doctrines- I would ask that they include time for
  family to come to the podium. Come up front and simply say something like:
  "Grandma believed that a person dies and goes to heaven. I believe she's right." then add
  some personal comment. Don't attack the talk- it will fall on it's own merit. Don't even address
  what was said.

  Push for that, or short of that- tell close non-JW family and friends what you feel afterward and
  let it go.
• 

  JWdaughter

  I hope you find some comfort with the rest of your non-JW family. Hope you or they can offer a real eulogy/memory of your grandmom. I am sorry for your loss.

  Shelly
• 

  sandy

  "Grandma believed that a person dies and goes to heaven. I believe she's right." then add
  some personal comment.

  I so want to do this. But I'm sure someone else will. They are leaving time for friends/family to make personal comments.

  I'm just so upset on my non-witness family's behalf . . . The past six months or so my Grandma has been saying she's ready to die and go be with my grandfather in heaven.

  How dare my self-righteous brother disregard her beliefs b/c he feels he has the "truth".

  You know if i go up there and say something like Grandma is in heaven now w/ Grandpa . . . my brother is probably the only one who'll start shunning me. It may be well worth it.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  my brother is probably the only one who'll start shunning me. It may be well worth it.

  You probably need to get going soon. I will just say this.

  If you just repeat what Grandma said, nobody should shun you.

  "Grandma was just saying the other day that she was ready to go to heaven and be with Grandpa.
  My favorite story from Grandma was....."
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  Well of course my JW family had to bully their way into having my brother give the memorial service. The majority of the family is not witnesses. They all believe my Grandma went to heaven with my Grandfather.

  Sandy, I'm so sorry for your loss, chere. Have you told the majority members of the family what the bully's talk will consist of? They might recant their resolution to allow the bullies to run the show. Just a thought.

  Frannie
• 

  sandy

  Frannie,

  My family is well aware of the talk's content. They do not know my brother as well as I do. They see him as a sincere J-dub even though they don't agree with him. I'm sure he is sincere to a point . . . But i'm strating to think he's getting off on the status and power the org feeds him.

  I do have to get going . . . Thanks for all the comments and condolences.

  I'm counting on one sarcastic cousin to be rude and obnoxious.
• 

  XJW4EVR

  My condolences on your loss.

  I don't think that the J-Dubs are bullies, I just think they are so brainwashed that they have to turn every major event, ie. weddings & funerals, into a platform for prosylitizing (sp?). After all when do they get a chance to talk to that many unbelievers in a single shot.

  Something very similar happened when my mother died. Because my father was well known in the community (you don't run a restaurant for 20-plus years, and not make acquaintances) there was a large number of non-J-Dubs in attendance at her memorial service. It burned me up that the speaker had to throw out the line, "If you, how are not J-Dubs, want to know more about the Dubs, then talk to one that is here." I was in the middle of my fade, and I couldn't speak out against that without giving away the fade.
• 

  Open mind

  Sandy,

  So sorry to hear about your loss. And you are spot on about the "Bullies" part.

  I can't believe how insensitive and clueless "true believing" dubs can be.

  Even when I was a pretty full-functioning robot unit, I could never bring myself to give someone a "When Someone You Love Dies" sales brochure. I mean, here's someone in a very fragile emotional state and I'm supposed to elbow my way in and say: "Uh, Excuse me, pardon me, but how about letting me stomp on some of your most cherished beliefs during your time of loss?"

  Remember the good things about your Grandmother and try not to let the Bullies really get to you.

  Open Mind
• 

  cultswatter

  Sandy and Hazsard

  The WTS is so unloving