But my wife is a hard core JW. Should we just sneak away to Chuck-e Cheese or what? He is 5.
My kid wants a B-day party
by openminded 22 Replies latest jw friends
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Naeblis
No. He's your son too, and it's your house as well. Start hiding from her disapproving eyes and get used to doing it your whole life. There's nothing wrong with giving the kid a birthday party and if she doesn't like it tell her to stuff herself. :) Thank you.
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openminded
Im leanin in that direction.
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MegaDude
Call lawyer.
Dump JW wife.
GO directly to Chuckie Cheese.
Celebrate wonderful birthday of your son.
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Billygoat
I'm sorry about that. It seems with the WTS, it's the children that ultimately end up losing out.
But sneaking behind her back to have a birthday party will only reinforce her thoughts that you are doing something "wrong". Have the party. Let her know you're having it. And then ask her for suggestions on what to say to your son when she doesn't show up.
Andi
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JBean
This is where it starts to get difficult! : ) My opinion? Be upfront with her and tell her that you are throwing the child a party at the house... or wherever your child would like to have it (some kids get a kick out of Chuck-e-Cheese!) and that she is more than welcome to attend or not. If it is at your home, she can leave for a while if it makes her uncomfortable. Personally, I found that the first time or two I was around any celebration like this, I was surprised that no one's head spun around and the people eating cake didn't start levitating! After a while... it truly is fun! If she has true love for you and your child, she will compromise. ps: Is your child being taken to meetings? If so, you may want to remind him that not ALL children, esp. those that attend KH, don't celebrate and for him not to "rub it in"! hee!
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betweenworlds
Yeah, I have to agree! If you do it in secret, then your child would have to be told to "keep the secret" as well, and that wouldn't be very healthy for him psychologicaly. I agree with the others, it is your house and you have the 100% right to be able to celebrate the birth of your child on your own premises...or just tell her up front "listen, I am taking **** to chuck e. cheeses for his birthday, as I know to have it here will be too upsetting for you"
good luck to you
BW
"The important thing is to not stop questioning" Albert Einstein
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MegaDude
Really it depends on how hardcore JDub your wife is.
Will she look the other way? Will she get so angry at you it will cause serious problems in your marriage?
If she's hardcore, you can bet your young son will get a nasty talking to and be made to feel horribly guilty for even wanting a birthday party. That can be extremely damaging to your son and would hardly be worth it.
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Pierced Angel
Lay down the law, tell her that you're having the party and that she has to put up with it because you're her husband and you have a right to do what you believe is best for your kids too.
I was secretly happy for my kids when my non-jw husband insisted on certain things like holidays (not that we did much anyhow since he was sort of lax about it).It was convenient for me because when he took the initiative I could blame it all on him while the kids had their fun too.She might go easy, you never know.
Good luck,
Anne
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Nathan Natas
openminded -
Although I was at first inclined to agree with Father naeblis' thoughful insight, it occurred to me that there are other considerations:
What if you do not like your son?
What if during his five interminably long years, he's made your life a constant source of recrimination and regret?
What if you had a difficult childhood and feel that an "easy" childhood would put him in danger of becoming "weak"?
What if you feel that at five, it is time for him to stop "thinking as a child" and devote his life to the service of his invisible friends?
In such cases you should not allow the miniature tyrant to dictate your behavior.