Just to get the new posters up to speed, Crabby Pants is my ex-hubby. We divorced over 35 yrs ago (for very good reasons). Disclaimer inserted here: If you're offended by others' discussion of personal financial matters, move along...nothing for you here. When I discovered back in 2000 that his 2nd wife had dumped him in an assisted living center in California after he retired from the Navy and suffered major strokes, I talked him into coming back here to Texas and living in his Dad's house which was paid for, so he could live more autonomously (he couldn't live autonomously in the assisted living center) and be available to visit with his father, who was residing in a nursing home. His father's house was sitting vacant and subject to vandalism, so he moved back here to SE Texas and it didn't take much to convince him to do this. I felt sorry for him (God knows why), he was so miserable out there by himself. Since I was a home health care professional, I agreed to live here (in my own room) and "watch his back." This has consisted of turning off water faucets and lights that he forgetfully leaves on all over the house, lock the doors that he leaves open, turning off the heater when the weather turns fair so we won't suffer from heat stroke, letting him know when he was 75K in credit card debt and that he must get an attorney and file for bankruptcy, rather than attempt to get "debt consolidation" counseling, etc. (Yeah, he's a spendthrift, champagne appetite on a beer income.) Also, I've come home from work to find him having fallen on the floor (right before I arrived home from work, thankfully re: timing) and twisted the knee of his "good leg" and then he fell again just as he was healing from the knee injury and broke his left hip, requiring surgery and 3 pins in hip. Then, just as he had healed from the surgery on his hip, one day he had a heart attack while I was here and I called the EMT's. Trip to the hospital, triple bypass surgery, etc. I nursed him through all of these injuries and surgeries, and loan him money when he uses up all his overdraft privilege at the bank. Now, yall might be asking yourselves just why on earth I call him "Crabby Pants." The "nick" was given to him by an online buddy when I told her of one of the many little mini-dramas that occurred here one day. You see, hope springs eternal in CP's heart and one day, just as I had begun to take a bath, CP walked over to the burglar alarm and hit the "panic button." The alarm was caterwauling to beat the band as I sat there in the bathtub trying to ignore the sound because I KNEW what he was up to. I know how he thinks. He expected me to jump out of the tub NEKKID and go running through the house in alarm to see what was wrong, so he could get a "beaver shot." Confirming this is the fact that while he WELL KNOWS the code to turn the alarm off, but he didn't use it until the police knocked on the door. It wasn't long before my daughter called (FROM 90 MILES AWAY) to see what the problem was. Her ex-beaux was affiliated with the alarm company that sold CP the alarm system and they called him and he called my daughter to tell her about it, thinking we had a major problem. When I told her what had actually occurred, I KNOW she wet her pants laughing, as did her ex-beaux, when she told him what had happened. CP told the police that he didn't remember the code until they arrived. When I confronted CP with his sneakiness and the evidence that proved it, he went verbally ballistic, cursing me to high heaven. Anger is his buddy. Among other uses for anger, CP also uses it to cover up his own faux pas and distract from the facts. So Country Girl (a poster here) started calling him "Crabby Pants." Crabby Pants is "Forrest Gump with a bad attitude," folks. But he talks a good game, so people that aren't familiar with his various self-destructive and foolish behaviors aren't aware when they give him a driver's license and a license to carry a concealed weapon....well...I'll let yall figure it out. Anyway, here's the latest in the ongoing saga: (another online buddy thinks he's hilarious and that I should share these stories) In the first place, CP is stroke-impaired on his left side. He has enough use of his left leg to enable him to hobble when he walks. His left hand and arm are useless and he uses a steering wheel knob to navigate the roads in his Ford F150 King Cab pickup with his right hand. He was born lefthanded. The Corvette, of course, is a stick shift. In the second, but no less important place, CP makes more than 4 X the income that I get from SSI, yet he is broke and dipping into his "overdraft privilege" at the bank by the 10th to 15th of each month to the tune of up to 1K by the end of each month. Why, you may ask? Because he's paying out those overdraft expenses each month, his truck note and insurance equal almost half his income and he borrows from every Tom, Dick and Harry each month, also and must pay them back, plus there are various exercise machines that must be purchased occasionally to stroke his male ego. There's a gigantic one in his bedroom right now, not even taken out of its original packaging fully and collecting dust as we "speak." Also, he must purchase a new gun occasionally to replace the ones that are stolen from his truck when he forgets to lock it up in parking lots where he shops and shops and shops. There's utilities of course, but no house note and I buy his groceries, in lieu of rent, since it would be foolish to give him the money and then watch him steal MY food when he is broke. Yes, he will steal anything that isn't nailed down, including my wallet and money and credit cards, even took one of my "moving men" (little round discs with cushions used to move furniture easily) and tore the cushion off it to make a milk shake (we have a blender.) Each month, it's the same thing. CP NEVER keeps track of checks he's written or paid out to creditors and blames the bank or the creditor when his checks bounce, for not running the check through IMMEDIATELY upon receipt. The only way he keeps track is to call the automatic teller phone number and check his balance at the very least a half dozen times a day. If the money's still in there, he believes he can spend it, never mind that it's already been committed to his creditors by check or whatever. Right now, he's eagerly and mostly impatiently awaiting his income tax refund check which is probably already spent before he gets it. But....he's sure he's going to be able to do wonders and eat rotten cucumbers with the money as soon as he gets it. H&R Block is holding a hot check from him for over 200 bucks right now. HOW in the world is CP going to be able to afford a Corvette payment on top of all he's responsible for now? (rhetorical) He believes that if he is "careful" he'll manage. What a MAROON!!!!
The Ongoing Saga of Crabby Pants
by Frannie Banannie 14 Replies latest jw friends
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mrsjones5
Oh yeah I'm sitting here gigglin about the beaver shot story. lol
Josie
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Frannie Banannie
(((((Josie)))) I hope you get that job, sweetie. Good luck on that.
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Snoozy
AW!
The poor guy is just looking for a little fun...
Moon him once in a while..that will kill the "sour grapes"..
Snoozy..
ps...at 65 I would like a "Crabby pants around ...since mine is no longer with me..
And also will laugh about the alarm thingy for a while..sounds like something my hubby would have done..
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mrsjones5
Thanks (((((Frannie)))))
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Frannie Banannie
The poor guy is just looking for a little fun...
Moon him once in a while..that will kill the "sour grapes"..
LOL! Yeah, right. Why should I moon him, Snoozy? He's got online porn that he peruses daily. I know this because of all the T&A emails I get in MY inbox, including offers for penis enhancements, etc.
I would like a "Crabby pants around ...since mine is no longer with me..
I'm truly sorry for your loss, Snoozy. Would you like me to check out overnight delivery postage rates to your address for a 155 lbs. surprise package?
Waiting anxiously for your reply,
Frannie
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LtCmd.Lore
The poor guy is just looking for a little fun...
Moon him once in a while..that will kill the "sour grapes"..
LOL! Yeah, right. Why should I moon him, Snoozy? He's got online porn that he peruses daily. I know this because of all the T&A emails I get in MY inbox, including offers for penis enhancements, etc.
I don't claim to know everything you know, but take it from a 17 year old computer geek: Getting porn and penis enlargement emails DOES NOT mean he was looking up pornography, if you have an uncomplicated email address there are companies that send this stuff out all the time to simple addresses.
Even if your email address is complicated if you enter it ANYWHERE, whether it's a porn site, humour site, music site, game site, or any other site, they can SELL your email address to different companies for a cheap buck, therefore sticking you with the crap emails... So maybe he is, and maybe he isn't viewing pornography, but emails like that prove absolutely nothing.
In my opinion emails like that should be illegal... lots of people get ticked off at their mates because of misunderstanding like that.
Edited to remove comment that was neither on topic, nor any of my bussiness.
LtCmd.Lore
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Frannie Banannie
I don't claim to know everything you know, but take it from a 17 year old computer geek: Getting porn and penis enlargement emails DOES NOT mean he was looking up pornography, if you have an uncomplicated email address there are companies that send this stuff out all the time to simple addresses.
Even if your email address is complicated if you enter your it ANYWHERE, whether it's a porn site, humor site, music site, game site, or any other site, they can SELL your email address to different companies for a cheap buck, therefore sticking you with the crap emails... So maybe he is, and maybe he isn't viewing pornography, but emails like that prove absolutely nothing.
In my opinion emails like that should be illegal... lots of people get ticked off at their mates because of misunderstanding like that.
I realize that what you say is true, Lieut. However.....trust me....CP peruses porn sites. I KNOW this man.
Frannie
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Satanus
True love is an an amazing thing.
S
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winnie
This is what I like about this forum.
Unfortunately, while reading this I had a coffee, that is now all over my desk and screen!
I only wish my life was as entertaining!