Most of us are either exjws or on the way out. How are your relationships affected by those that never were Witnesses? If you're married or dating someone that never was a JW, is it difficult??
Relationships With Witnesses or ExJWs----Are They Easy To Deal With??
by minimus 17 Replies latest jw friends
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bigwilly
In my case in particular, the fact that they never were wasn't hard on me. It was hard on them to get used to the way my family is.
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dedpoet
No problem for me Minimus. All my close friends know I'm an ex jw, and don't really mention it, unless I do.
They know how much I hate the wtbts nowadays, and are aware that I work against their interests as much as I can, but don't try to advise me about it in any way. In fact, I am pretty sure that some of them approve of what I'm doing, they don't like jws much either.
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minimus
Every once in a while, I'll hear, "Are all 'you people' (exjws) gossipers?" or something like that......I've seen how we can be negatively classed because we were once practicing Jehovah's Witnesses. When I heard the putdown, I wondered outloud whether or not the person questioning me was being critical because they had a certain bad situation happen to them. To target former JWs with being critical, touchy or different simply because of our pasts is unfair. Many of us were "born" into the "cult". Some weren't but when we are out, it should be understood that whatever we are today is because of our past----whether it's negative or positive.
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Lumptard
It really caused some tension early on, but my never-was-a-JW girlfriend understands my position and is supportive. It was the in-between part that was the problem...before I figured out what I really thought about the witnesses.
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dedpoet
I remember when I was first out, around 7 years ago, one or two people who had a little knowledge of jw teachings used to ask me "how could you believe this ..........". I used to dread those questions, as the main reason I left was because I no longer believed wts doctrine,and find it kind of difficult to explain to anyone why I ever accepted it in the first place, which was often the next question they would ask.
Some of my work colleagues, who had known me pre jw, as a jw and post jw, would ask the same sort of questions as well. I used to get a little defensive when people were firing those kind of questions at me, but nowadays, after just over 7 years out, they are used to me being an ex jw, and the interrogations have ceased.
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minimus
Questions don't bother me (obviously). But I don't like it when someone tries to suggest that the reason why you are as you are is because you were once a JW.
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minimus
......so your friends and loved ones are supportive????
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Finally-Free
But I don't like it when someone tries to suggest that the reason why you are as you are is because you were once a JW.
That doesn't bother me at all. If someone thinks I'm f*cked up I'd much rather have them blame the JWs than me for my bad traits.
W
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truthsetsonefree
Every once in a while, I'll hear, "Are all 'you people' (exjws) gossipers?" or something like that......I've seen how we can be negatively classed because we were once practicing Jehovah's Witnesses. When I heard the putdown, I wondered outloud whether or not the person questioning me was being critical because they had a certain bad situation happen to them. To target former JWs with being critical, touchy or different simply because of our pasts is unfair. Many of us were "born" into the "cult". Some weren't but when we are out, it should be understood that whatever we are today is because of our past----whether it's negative or positive.
Amen brother. I fear I turned one romantic interest away over this. Its so unfair. tsof