Quick Birthday Question...

by esw1966 14 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  A more tame version of what I suggested would incorporate Snickers' comment. (Yes, welcome)

  You can make your daughter commit to her saying she wants a "birthday" gift and understands
  that it is a "birthday" gift. But even if her JW training makes her say, "Nevermind then" you could
  send it anyway, allowing her the double-life that her mother won't know about. If she rejects
  birthdays, then I would send the gift card or the savings bond as a birthday gift in a birthday card.
  If she does not reject the idea of a birthday gift, then maybe I would cave in and send the cash
  she wants.

  She is your daughter, and you will never get these years back. If she is tottering on JW or
  non-JW, a little push will help.
• 

  megsmomma

  I was raised as a JW with my biological dad never having been one. When my dad got us one time (we had just began being JW's) I was about 10 and my sister was 7. It was her birthday and our family surprised us with a b-day party. (He always celebrated my 1/2 birthday with my sisters since mine is the day before x-mas) Well....the surprise was on them when I locked me and my sister in the bathroom crying because we did not want to displease Jehovah.

  We see how the fear in the religion takes hold of adults...and it is even worse for kids.

  Now my 8 year old is still in and instead of trampling on her "beliefs"(for now) when I have her around the holidays...I play by their rules. We have "I am glad you were born" cards and presents. We have "gift exchanges" for x-mas. Don't prove the JW's right....they say you will do anything to turn her from Jehovah. Just do all the loving things you want to do, and when she is grown and thinking for herself, she will see what you did for her.

  My dad never tried to celebrate with us again....but he never stopped sending presents around the special times. Now I love him for it.

  I know it is hard to be in this situation. Hang in there! ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  That's a hard one!!!

  She is old enough to know how to play both you and mom, and speaking from someone who was raised as a JW's most of my early life was a double life. I did as the JW's while in their presence and when I wasn't I did what I wanted to do.

  So I think you should give her the cash if that's what you want, but make it clear to her that this is a birthday present not just a hand out. You can give her money anytime without meaning but that this particular gift is for her birthday. Let her decide if she want's to accept it or not.

  Good luck
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  That's a hard one!!!

  She is old enough to know how to play both you and mom, and speaking from someone who was raised as a JW's most of my early life was a double life. I did as the JW's while in their presence and when I wasn't I did what I wanted to do.

  So I think you should give her the cash if that's what you want, but make it clear to her that this is a birthday present not just a hand out. You can give her money anytime without meaning but that this particular gift is for her birthday. Let her decide if she want's to accept it or not.

  Good luck
• 

  love2Bworldly

  I think you should send her a real birthday card with money in it, and put in there that you will always love her no matter what.

  Funny, I was just realizing the fact that my JW sister will return Christmas gifts to people but when my dad sends her a check for Christmas--she doesn't have any problems cashing it!!! What a hypocrite!