My Debut

by TheMan 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • TheMan

    After lurking for who knows how many months now, I finally did it. I posted!!!! I'll have to share my story at some point, but here's what made me do it. I'm 25, and currently a regular meeting attendee. I've served as a Ministerial Servant for the past 4 years, excluding the past nine months, as I moved congregations and asked not to be reappointed (due to family issues - but really, I was just stressed out.) I was raised in the "the truth," however I started to have real doctrinal doubts when we were studying the Isaiah books. The stuff about 1914 and 1919 just seemed so foreign to me. Studying the Daniel book, and now the Revelation book surely haven't helped!!! I've also had some rough experiences, being raised in the truth, and it's amazing just how "into the truth" I was. With the help of the posters on this site, and some of the sites ( is awesome), I've been able to really see things for what they really are. It's just disappointing that it took 25 years of my life to get this far. Anyway, I'm feeling a huge ball and chain drop because today, my wife and I went out to lunch, and she started talking about her concern that we weren't spiritual enough (as we are expecting a baby soon!). It was then then I let it all out, my doubts and everything. I coudn't believe myself, but I couldn't keep it in anymore. I have been holding it in for so long, because I really didn't want to hurt her, especially since I thought she was dealing with enough - with the baby coming and all, and the fact that all of our friends are in "the truth." I was about ready for her to start crying, call me an apostate and slap me in the fact, but, to my surprise, she totally understood, and out come all of her doubts as well. I never would have guessed it....but it was so liberating. In fact, I swear I just fell in love with her five times over again, becuase she handled it better than I ever would have thought. Realistically, I know for sure this isn't going to be the last time we talk about this. In fact, I fully expect some type of backlash, as it would be pretty weird if this was it, but this made me realize the importance of being true to yourself, and being honest, especially with your mate. I don't advise on everyone in my situation handling it this way, but it was something that worked for me, and I feel 900 times better. This is going to be the first of many more discussions, and I'm thinking this is going to be the start of a good fade, or however I decide to handle. Any suggestions?? I'm still an avid believer of having faith in the bible, so I'll be working on that. I don't have a very exciting story, but I was raised in the truth, once disfellowshipped, and think maybe someone out there may be able to relate, so I'll post it shortly. Thanks to all for listening. You guys are great, and I'll be back!

  • minimus

    Great 1st post! My suggestion is not to assume that your wife will not feel guilty and have a change of heart and possibly speak to others about your innermost feelings. So be careful and do things that are not overwhelming to both of you. Good luck!

  • lovelylil


    Thanks for hopping aboard and sharing some of your story. You say you still believe in God and the Bible? I would suggest reading the New Testament without the aid of WT's study books. It will totally open your mind and you will find the real Jesus in there. Getting to know him, helped me feel closer to God. I also had doubts about the Isaiah and Daniel prophecy books when I was in. They were so confusing and all the scriptures were pulled out of their context. I could not understand why it was not obvious to everyone else. Anyway I'm glad things are working out between you and your wife. Especially since you have a baby coming, btw. congrats!

    Oh my hubby is from Connecticut. Born in Bridgeport, served on the Military base in Groton and now his mom lives in West Haven. I like Ct a lot. But am a native New Yorker myself. Lilly

  • DeusMauzzim

    Welcome to JWD, TheMan! If I type fast enough I may be the first to welcome you here ;)

    Isn't life wonderful through the looking-glass? As I'm on the way out myself I can advise you from personal experience... take it slooooowly. Try to fade and keep whatever relationships you want to keep (close family etc., don't count on the dubs you only see in the KH - but then why would you need them?). It's great your wife may get out as well - That would truly be a succes story. Set up a good strategy and don't hasten things.

    Good luck! I'm so glad for you :D


    Deus Mauzzim

  • dedpoet

    Hi TheMan, and welcome to the forum.

    You took a chance, spilling everything to your wife, and I'm glad it worked well for you so far, I hope it stays that way. One thing for sure, if you need to talk, this is the place to be. We are for the most part ex or fading jws, and generally speaking not judgemental. I am sure you will enjoy your time here with us.

    Keep posting, I look forward to hearing more from you.

  • DeusMauzzim

    doh minimus and lovelylil typed faster.. are you guys pioneering or something? :D

    - Deus Mauzzim

  • avidbiblereader

    Thanks Dan, good for you on your liberation and look forward to hearing from you on the forum


  • nicolaou

    Great to hear a good experience like that. Welcome TheMan!

  • I.Wonder


    Thanks for de-lurking, I recently did so myself and am soooo happy I did. You will find tons of support here.

    What ever you decide to do I wish you and your family the very best!


  • MeneMene

    Welcome to the board. I just found it last fall myself and have been amazed at all I have learned from the people here.

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