Have you recovered financially since leaving the Tower?

by lovelylil 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • JamieL
    JamieL

    I sympathize with people that may have hard straights financially, but is it really caused by a religion?

    It is true that they have said it is not advisable to work overtime if it would take you away, and to not go to college if the same would happen. But they have never said "you can't work overtime" "you can't go to college"

    I went to college and got a descent job eventually. But being broke has a lot to do with this world and the things that are pushed to have and get. I budget myself very, very stringently. I could get by living on 1000 a month or even less.

    As it is, I have some things I don't need that add to the budget, but its within what I make. I go to Aldis every week for my food, I don't eat out that much (what a waste of money, just invite some friends over, have a meal, much cheaper and you don't have to tip people that really don't deserve that hard earned money...gratuity keeps going up, it's ridiculous. 15% what next 20%?). By off brand, go to goodwill for clothes, shop around before buying big ticket items to get the best deal.

    Take any extra money you have and put it in an IRA, very easy to open, you can open one for as little as 200 dollars a month, plus it's tax free compounding interest. Or put it in an online savings account at 5% growth.

    I never buy anything I don't already have the cash for, unless it's a car, house, or otherwise expensive item. And if you see something new you want it will be less expensive later, or have a deal on it, etc. Did God want men to not be able to support their families? Paul had a job, even the disciples were blessed to have excellent family members or neighbors to maintain them financially. I really don't think Jehovah would mind if you served him and cared for yourself financially, the only mistake people ever made was to listen to MEN instead of the word of god.

    Frankly I buy into Jehovah and the bible and even a group of people that try to follow it, but they're people, just like back then in the 1st century the disciples were WITH Jesus and still made mistakes and wanted things they had no right to. Men always want to have authority or impose beliefs on other people. I have learned to just block out all the nonsense I hear...

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    JamieL,

    I hear what you are saying the problem is that the WT does not only tell its members to not get an education or work too hard at secular employment, they foster an environment where if you go against their council, you are labled "bad association" or "weak in the faith" and this has caused many people and even whole families to be shunned by the congregation. This is where the WT is different from other Christian denominations, in that in some churches they may recomend or council but it is not forced upon the person to obey everything the pastor, or priest says. And in the WT, if you are shunned or treated badly (they apply peer pressure) for not following every word of advice given by the Tower, then you cannot really say that you had a choice in the matter. This environment is fostered by the talks given in the hall and by what is written in the magazines. It is always insinuated if you are not doing your all, (according to WT standards) that you either lack appreciation for Jehovah, are not living up to your dedication, are pursuing worldly desires, etc. Hope you understand what I am saying here. Peace, Lilly

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    OOOh, JamieL lots of people will jump on you for that...

    let me be the first! ;)

    (Actually let me first welcome you here to the forum!)

    Good to see you here!

    Anyhoo, the WT totally tells us that it is good to put off school - I think they may have outright said it (and I'm sure one of our fine scholars here will give a ref) or by all the "fine examples" that are in the WT awake and assembly parts.

    they ridicule those who "pursue" money with full time jobs, asking why they don't pioneer and when kids graduate highschool/are out for the summer the first thing the ask is: "what's holding YOU back from pioneering?"

    You can always choose to ignore the society. I did, but I had a non-JW dad and a rational JW mom. I am thankful for that but I was always labeled as "weak" cause I only auxilaried from time to time and I went to college after highschool.

    And ALSO the comment about not wasting money on a tip by giving it to people who don't deserve it??? Oooooh boy. I trust you never worked as a waitress? That is the most demanding and thankless job. Many women who do it can not get any other job and are trying to do a good job and support families on those wages. And in some states waiters/waitresses make LESS than minimum wage- i.e. here in Arizona the wage for waitstaff just got raised from $2-something (yes, two dollars) an hour to three-something. They depend onthose tips to purchase food and rent.

    Please be a little more understanding. I know it seems like people may have many problems that you decided to avoid. But this religion has caused a lot of financial harm to folks here -just like many religions can- but this is our common bond and a place to hear each other out. -although we do need a little wakeup call every now and again when we rant too much or start attributing 9-11 to the governing body or something!

    Thanks,

    Kudra

  • JamieL
    JamieL
    OOOh, JamieL lots of people will jump on you for that...

    let me be the first! ;)

    (Actually let me first welcome you here to the forum!)

    Good to see you here!

    Anyhoo, the WT totally tells us that it is good to put off school - I think they may have outright said it (and I'm sure one of our fine scholars here will give a ref) or by all the "fine examples" that are in the WT awake and assembly parts.

    they ridicule those who "pursue" money with full time jobs, asking why they don't pioneer and when kids graduate highschool/are out for the summer the first thing the ask is: "what's holding YOU back from pioneering?"

    You can always choose to ignore the society. I did, but I had a non-JW dad and a rational JW mom. I am thankful for that but I was always labeled as "weak" cause I only auxilaried from time to time and I went to college after highschool.

    And ALSO the comment about not wasting money on a tip by giving it to people who don't deserve it??? Oooooh boy. I trust you never worked as a waitress? That is the most demanding and thankless job. Many women who do it can not get any other job and are trying to do a good job and support families on those wages. And in some states waiters/waitresses make LESS than minimum wage- i.e. here in Arizona the wage for waitstaff just got raised from $2-something (yes, two dollars) an hour to three-something. They depend onthose tips to purchase food and rent.

    Please be a little more understanding. I know it seems like people may have many problems that you decided to avoid. But this religion has caused a lot of financial harm to folks here -just like many religions can- but this is our common bond and a place to hear each other out. -although we do need a little wakeup call every now and again when we rant too much or start attributing 9-11 to the governing body or something!

    Thanks,

    Kudra

    It's just that is not always true. I happen to know (used to know, I'm DFd BTW) a pioneer sister who went to school to get a degree in Biology, her family supported her financially, she kept aux. pioneering, and took a light schedule (12 credit hours, which is nothing really, I used to take 18 and 20 a semester). She was on parts all the time.

    Just saying, there are exceptions. I agree there are too many examples that make you feel "I should be just like them" and when is the last time you saw a loyal publisher up there being an example? Not at a DC. Man, I'm glad I'm really opinionated, back when I was just getting in engineering school I had a DO and CO try to have their wives gang up on me, then a group of pioneer friends my age (I think they were ordered to by our PO of the congregation) but I was just like "look, I follow all the principles of the bible, I believe in Jehovah, and this makes me happy, I serve as much as I am able to and also want to be able to take care of myself and support a family, and maybe even do more if I can, like help other people in general"

    When I was young I was molested, I started a thread about it here. I guess since then, even though I never feel quote right, I definitely know how to block out people and fanatical nonsense. I'll even tell them to their face, I guess I just didn't care how they looked at me. I was in 1 congregation for 20 years or so and all the older ones knew me, knew my heart. So I wasn't worried about what some pioneers who just moved in thought about me.

    I was never labeled weak, even though I was really into sports, went to college, partied even, I was always in service regular and meetings and participated, so there was really no reason to believe any of that had an affect on me spiritually, it wasn't till I got involved with another witness actually that I made any serious "sins" it was kind of ironic, cause I sailed, with a sailing team in college and it was one giant party and I never did anything or violated my own conscience.

    I know the waitress comment was a bit cras, but look at it this way, say you have one waitress, 8 people, the bill ends up being 100 bucks or more, and it was 1 hour, she gets a 15 or 20 dollar tip? Really...in addition to maybe other tables she was serving? I know they make low hourly wages.

    I just don't relate cause I've been unemployed as a highly skilled worker and had a hard time finding work even with a good degree in engineering and 2 minors 1 in mathematics the other in spanish communications. you'd think it would be easy, but not so. Even now, if I had to give a total tip amounting to 15 to 20 dollars for an hour of service? I'd resent it cause with their hourly wage they'd make almost as much as me for far less effort in many aspects.

    Eating out to me is just ridiculous, it fosters all kinds of negative things, like being out of shape, making the economy more service oriented (which would mean the US is only paying itself, not generating products). And so on. Just suggesting a way to save money I guess, sometimes I think we in America make it harder than it needs to be. Just deny impulses and you can get by on around 900 to 1000 dollars after tax money, which with the minumum wage coming up to 7 something is perfectly doable for a single person. I've made bad money choices, had to work 2 jobs, cut back, budget myself, it's all in determination in my opinion.

    I also had a really great mom and pop, we enjoyed family vacations when gas still cost 80 cents a gallon, we'd pack up the van drive 3,000 miles out west for 2 weeks. It was great. They also encourages me in college, supported me when I played sports, and my dad has always been respected in the congregation as I was too. Even when I was in school I was running mikes, aux. pioneering when I could, leading prayers, running sound department. I don't know, maybe it was just my refusal to be labeled as "weak" that made people back off and let me do what I wanted, cause I wasn't doing anything wrong.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    why do I hear a tiny violin playing somewhere? (this ain't directed towards the topic or the majority of posters here)

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    When we first joined dubdum, my hubbie was in management training in a major department store. Of course, he soon realized that to be a good microphone carrying, elder aspiring dub he could not work retail hours. He quit and began working a string of low paying service jobs. He eventually became self employed, and became the dutiful elder in the congo.

    Fast forward thirty years-after working manual labor in all types of weather, his health would not permit him to continue. What to do now? No real education, no skills other than service or manual labor, age against him.

    I began working to compensate, but same scenario. No education, only low paying jobs available.

    Now, we are both working, I am going to college but am over fifty and will probably die trying to get a degree slowly while working full time. We have spent our savings trying to keep up while hubbie did get training for a not very well paying job.

    Recovered? We'll never recover. We struggle daily and will never be able to retire but will have to work until we keel over. Thanks, WTS.

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