Any thoughts?
Time goes on friends, our children are growing and the world moves on.
Clock the hours you spend fighting a non-entity and realize it is time lost.
Edward
exJW Obsession and Paranoia towards the Witness Religion- Is it healthy?
by timetochange 42 Replies latest jw friends
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Abandoned
It's a phase, a necessary and healthy part of the healing process.
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timetochange
A phase? How long do you think this "phase" should last? 6 months.....6 years? When does "moving on" and saving what's left of our families begin? Ed
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Woodsman
Since my wife is a Witness I keep tabs on the religion. I had stopped posting for almost a year and will slow down when the next semester begins. I still post mainly about the JW religion but also about the Bible and religion in general.
I see this as an internet forum like many others where just about anything is discussed. It is an online community where people can communicate in the new style.
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MsMcDucket
Dude you're tripping. It's not paranoia; it's a part of our lives. We are going on, and we check in here to make sure we aren't giving up the ghost on our lives. I know that there are many people that can go on with their lives as if it were all a dream/nightmare; but many people have post traumatic stress regarding that religion. And many people still have loved ones in the religion. Telling people to go on and forget about it is a rather distasteful choice of words.
You go on with your life. Obviously you don't need help.
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NeonMadman
TTC: When will JW's who have left other religions grow out of attacking those religions and calling them the harlot, "Babylon the Great", etc? For how many years is it healthy and reasonable for them to continue to do so? Many ex-Witnesses would like to see the organization exposed as widely as possible so that others need not suffer in an unloving, totalitarian cult as we did. This is just one more example of the Watchtower's double standards in action: when they point the finger at the flaws in other religions, it's "standing up for the truth" and "exposing false teachings." But when anyone else points out the flaws in the JW organization, it's an 'unhealthy obsession' manifesting itself as persecution.
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choosing life
The whole desire of the Watchtower Society is to keep people from going on with their lives. They make sure there is no healthy way to go on with your life, as you say. I don't know how many years you invested in this fantasy or how your family is affected, but we all have unique situations and traumas that we are trying to deal with.
When the society truly allows people to exit this religion in a graceful fashion, I truly believe many more would do just that. Until then, telling others to get over it shows you have learned the compassion of this so-called religion very well.
Ever carry the weight of another? For how long? Or walk as long as they need to recover? For how long?
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Abandoned
A phase? How long do you think this "phase" should last? 6 months.....6 years? When does "moving on" and saving what's left of our families begin? Ed
Well, since it's a phase of the "healing process," maybe it should last until the person is healed? That's a different length of time for each unique individual. I've been here for about two months and I've made amazing progress. I don't think I'm worthless and I'm making awesome progress on social and emotional disorders I garnered from my time associating with the jw cult.
I'm sure a lot of people here would say they feel they are completely healed from what they went through but continue to come around to support those who are now where they were. It's probably a form of charity to them. I know it will be to me.
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timetochange
I have loved ones in the religion. Butting them head on is not going to make them change. It only puts their defenses up. I have chosen to live my life and include them if they should wish to be included. If not that is their choice. There are thousands, millions, of families who are, for their own reasons, split. Most were never JWs.
There is a necessary time that should be spent in recuperating from the JWs but a true healing is a moving on. Moving on is not only good it is necessary to becoming a whole man or woman, imo. Happiness is moving on.
Ed
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some-xjw-guy
It may be good to distinguish between healing, which may be defined as returning to a previous state or level of health, or the typical average state of health, and optimal health. For example most people aren't as healthy as they CAN be, physically, but they get by okay. For example we know some people has that lingering cough after they get over an infection, not exactly healthy but they are better and functional.
So there are many different shades of health, we might say. As far as this aspect of moving on with mental health, certainly that is a good thing. Of course, in the end its really about the ability to move on from things rather than one particular thing, and naturally a big thing will typically take people longer. As far as that ability to be unattached to life events, frankly very few people really have it. Some may have it in greater measure than others, but even if one is considered typically well adjusted and mentally healthy, there are things that gets them.
So strictly speaking, the ideal of always moving on is like an optimal state of mental health that few really achieve. The JW experience might be likened to a particular episode of illness. Getting over that episode is one thing, having a strong immune system that process it quickly and efficiently is another matter. Perhaps, then if anything we might focus on strengthening the immune system generally, so to speak rather than just dealing with the particular pathology of this particular illness - but of course both are appropriate given that point in time.