Christina, it sounds like he's trying to just please his parents. I mean neither of us can read his mind but judging by his actions... Kids of Witnesses often just go along with the activities to please their parents when they are really not into them because they love god. I'd like to tell you more about my own personal experience. It was such a situation with my brother. OUr parents raised him as a witness, but they encouraged us in the way of truth ( as I consider it) they didn't try to force us or put undue pressure. My mom and dad never said, You have to do it this way! They told us why or why not we should. My brother lingered on the fringes of the congregation for a long time just for the sake of my mom. MOre than once, he got himself into situations requiring disciplinary action, but the first couple of times he was reproved because of his repentant attitude. Finally though, he had to be disfellowshipped. When that finally happened, it was a relief! Even though we all regretted the circumstance, my parents and I both felt relieved that finally it had gone either one way or the other. Which shows to me that we'd all rather him make his own decisions. But my point is, it was much harder for everyone when he was just putting up pretenses. As of now? he is still disfellowshipped but we keep in good, though non-spiritual, contact with him. He has expressed a desire to get back into spiritual things because of his new wife and baby. We keep a distance, letting him make the choice himself. If he does, he won't be doing it for our parents. He'll be doing it because he believes it is right. Or he won't. either way its better that he's making decisions. He can be reinstated into the congregation, whether that happens or not depends entirely upon himself. I hope this maybe gives you more insight into the whole disfellowshipping thing. Granted, it is a very tough and emotionally complicated matter for all sides. I know not every family has handled things as well as my parents have. But who am I to criticize. Disfellowshipped ones knew before their baptism that they will be held accountable for their actions, and they know whether their relationship is restored with the congregation depends entirely on them.
I really appreciate your attitude Christina, it reflects that of many admired acquaintances I have had that were not of my faith. I really hope things work out Ok for you. I dont want you to continue to be hurt by someone who in my viewpoint is just not honest. In myh relationships, I cannot under any circumstances share my life so closely as with that of a husband who does not share my faith. That would be too unhappy for me. But furthermore, I have to be even more selective because just because someone says they're a christian doesn't mean they behave as one. I hope you realize that before its too late. If he's serious about his convictions, and hte two of you get married, there will be much tension, and naturally he will want you to share the same beliefs, as you probably will with him. YOu should understand that if he believes what he believes, and he loves you, he's not going to want you to lose out on what he believes is in mankinds future! But he's not acting like he really loves you. HE's acting like he really loves himself. My mom married someone selfish, please do not do the same. And with your daughter...All I can say is if you marry him without clearing this thing up, you are only asking for loads of trouble. Its better maybe for her to be with a single loving parent than two who fight like cats and dogs.
