sorry just fuming right now

betteroffdead

hey everyone. new to the forum but have been reading earnestly many great topics, major respect to everyone who posts. anyways I'm an "active dub"(i use that term loosely never baptised and it pisses them off, haha) born and raised in it, I've had alot of the questions asked on here myself. not a hypothectical question but posed hypothetically(sorry for the randomness I'm angry). If you know a reproved person who has moved away and then are outright lying to the elders about there activities what are the elders "obligated to do"? Any answers would be appreciated. P.S.- I realize I'm being vindictive towards this person but the've ruined my wifes life, and anyways i'm of the motto god forgives i don't. not in everyday life just whens its personal... you know how that goes.

confusedjw

BOD,

Welcome to JWD. As to your question that's one that proximity would have a practical bearing. If this person was reproved and then moved a short distance away and was telling lies then a simple call between elders of the old and new cong would possibly happen. But if this person moved away and the elders have no reason to not believe them and no one is there to inform them, well....

Can you tell us more about the actual situation?

sspo

Nothing

If they have no evindence that he is lying, there is not much they can do.

Your word against his.

Usually the view is "Leave it up to Jehovah"

Abandoned

I don't have any advice for you, but welcome to the forum ((((((betteroffdead))))))

jwfacts

Welcome. It would be great to find out a bit more about your situation and how you feel about things in general and particularly the WTS. Are you planning to keep things as they are, get baptised, or fade?

The Holy Spirit does not help the elders uncover errors (contrary to popular JW opinion) and so I know people that have successfully gotten away with gross sin for over 20 years and still stayed as JWs in good standing. Elders need 2 witnesses, so unless you want to stalk the person to get evidence there is not much that you can do about them getting justice.

betteroffdead

first off thanks for the reply. the story is kinda lengthy but here it goes.

the reproved would be my girlfriends sister, she is very cinderella stepsisterish and has a jealous streak like no other maybe because shes thirty and hasnt had any relationships worth remembering. but i'll tell you 2 of those were with gay men (not thats anything wrong with that) and the last one is such a doozy i'll have to tell. her last guy she was cheating on his girlfriend to be with her but was a national guardsmen so he told her he was to be deployed in few months. so because she is so crazy(def. certifiable!) she decides to fake a pregnancy to get him to stay. Mind you she is still a baptized witness, so needless to say big nono. she goes and fakes documents and everything but then decides she doesnt really like him so she fakes a miscarriage. and he tells her hes being deployed and breaks up with her so as not to whatever?

well come to find out he didnt go to iraq but married a stripper. and somehow she found out and would stalk him randomly again to shorten this she gets back with him after practicly raping him at the bar, she moves in with him while still claiming to be a witness (all while hes still legally married to the stripper) then about that time the convention comes up (cough waste of time and money) and we rent a car to go (i'm not quite the perfect witness go figure i'm here). we go get indoctrinated blah blah, come back and asks her sister to take a half hour out of her sad life to return the car with her so she does and drops her back off at the house and goes to her loser BF's apt. to find him in the shower with another women besides her or his wife. she flips blah blah normal stuff, then proceeds to blame my girlfriend for the entire thing, that if she hadnt returned the car with her this would never had happened, and then starts a month long campaign of sh@$%ng on her about everything and blaming her for ruining her life.

thats an abreviated story that brings us to the present we now have an intense hatred for her sister for the way she has treated my girlfriend. so she is reproved at this point (because she lied to the elders about everything, how do I know because she was dumb enough to tell her sister every sordid detail of their twisted relationship) and moves for schooling this is up to last week. she is now campaigning her family to hate my girlfriend because she got in trouble.

by the way all but her mother are not witnesses. so shes still out doin what she does and posts all of her disfellowsipable offenses on the internet for all to see. so her sister writes the elders to tell them and attaches the photos her sister so wonderfully put out there.

skip a week to tonights meeting and the elders pull her aside and tell her that their not doing anything regarding this matter except call the sisters congregation which she doesnt even go to but the closest to where she lives to have those elders talk to her to see if she wants to go to meeting. i just find it very frustrating when the elders jump down my girlfriends throat for dating me because i'm not baptised but refuse to do anything regarding this situation.

sorry if this is confusing at all its been two years coming out at once. hope this helps maybe???

betteroffdead

my situation is that i was raised a witness my father was an elder he died when i was 12 of skin cancer so the cong. left me alone about things as he was by all accounts an outstanding elder and not by j-dub standards, but i might be a little bias there. anyways they took me off the school whathaveyou. Then at the age of fifteen I was diagnosed with leukemia and thank goodness i got through that, during that i didnt go to a meeting for 3 years for obvious medical reasons as regards my weak immune system and infections. in the first month or so all the witnesses were "concerned" or so I thought at the time. they visited me I was happy people cared needless to say that ending quickly. I was then involved with the hospital liason commitee about the no blood issues because leukemia is a cancer of the blood so standard practice is transfusion. And I remember really resenting the fact I was being coached up like i was going before the supreme court but I went no blood partly because of the wts but also a health issue for me personally not having to do with the wts. So three years went by clean bill of health nobody except family friends occasionally visiting me and I thought that was dispicable concidering what I was taught. So I eventually return to meetings which was a feet in its self with my social anxiety and distane for the cong. when they would act so happy I was there knowing full well it was fake. So I'm there a few years and besides a couple of friends nobody really gives me a second glance but all of a sudden start pressuring me to study and get baptised which oddly enough coincides with my 21st b-day hmm go figure. come to find out from a "friend" there were elders assigned to talk to me but never did let alone say hello. At that point I decided I dont really care to be a part of this. but I continue to go sporacticly because my girlfriend still believes but is hating the elders more and more each day. So I guess I don't really have a problem with doctrine, I'm not a bible scholar by any means. But rather my treatment as a member of the cong. and as a person. hope this answers something.

jwfacts

I would try to forget about what the sister in law does. She sounds like trouble. It is pointless letting your life be affected by her, as you are only hurting yourself. The sister does not sound happy, that is punishment enough for her.

BTW, just above the Submit Post button is a box that says "automatic cr/lf. If you check that before posting you will get paragraphs.

betteroffdead

thanks for the heads up. its hard to let that stuff go with my personality coupled with the fact she continually makes up lies to her family about us which in turn gets to us and makes me angry because everyone feels sorry for her because of her fantastic lies.

KAYTEE

Welcome betterofdead,

motto god forgives i don't.

According to my reading of the bible 2Peter 3 v 9………………………but desires all to attain to repentance,

He forgives but we must be repentant of our errors.

He is not all forgiving and there are many instances in the bible that would show that to be so.

I am also of that opinion that if a person does not apologise for something he may have done towards me, then I too would find it hard to forgive.

KT

sorry just fuming right now

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