Reasons, not excuses -- even valid ones (like, "I was ignorant, depressed, fooled").
Yours in the sense that you can still own (to) them -- even though you now know the "answer" was wrong.
This obviously applies to those who became JWs -- hence mostly not born-in, although some of the latter might admit to having chosen the JW way for themselves at a certain stage of their childhood or teenage years.
This question is triggered by a previous conversation with purplesofa on another thread:
I think most of us that came in and not born in were searching. Our hearts were pure in our search. Afterall, we were moaning and groaning over the detestable things of the earth. We wanted to make a differenceThat's a point I've long been eager to dig further -- with little success so far.
Although I was only 13 when I became a JW, I count myself as one who "chose to be in" -- at least to some extent. In my case, that means I was craving for difference as much as a "born-in" JW kid can crave for normalcy.
Retrospectively, though, I wouldn't necessary buy into the flattering moral spin JWs put on that thirst for difference (as in "pure," "moaning and groaning over the detestable things"). But good or bad the desire was there and I neither want nor can disown it.
How the remedy proved to be a poison (but is not all remedy a poison?) is one thing, and that's what the discussion on "cults" is about. Why we were looking for it is another -- perhaps for another thread?
Dear Nark,
For myself, as a child, I seemed to be very sensitive to my surroundings, people, the planet, Earth. I saw no reason for prejudice, meaness, War, the sadness........I already knew I did not want to die. I wanted to be around long enough to do everything I knew I could not in a lifetime. I wanted enough time to fix all the scars I already had and what I saw that mankind had.
Getting married and having 5 children was so far away from what I imagined for myself. The desire within for peace was huge inside me. Among mankind. I was abused as a child and wife, so possibly that is where that strong desire came from.
As I began to study with the witnesses, I came to believe that they had the answers to peace on the earth, amongst all people. I was zealous in learning so that I too could get started and be a full supporter. Somewhere along the journey, I lost sight........(this is where the mind control comes in) I was listening to people talk about what length skirt to wear, whether one should wear a beard or not. I became more worried about turning in a time card than what I was actually doing with my time.
In my trust that this was the answer ........I overlooked these things for some time. Then I realized I was never going to make it in the "club" my circumstances were not going to allow for a lot of things the org offered in the way of helping others. I was sitting 5 hours a week taking in the same things over and over and spending a few hours out in service so that maybe someone saw me going from door to door ......and that was my statement!!?!?!?!
While on tv I was seeing what people were doing to feed millions of people....what people were doing to help/save the enviroment.
I do not regret the discipline I got from learning from the witnesses, but we never graduate, we never move on, we become stagnant, useless, (one reason for gossip and turning on each other)
I think most people here do want to make a difference.........and yes I think another thread would be great to start ........please do.......
I think this might be an interesting and helpful subject to discuss indeed, with a lot of personal implications: how we can own and make sense of our life story as a whole, including the JW episode; how we now relate to what we were and chose to become years or decades ago... many things that the "deception" and "victim" paradigms, however true, can hardly help us deal with.
Sometimes I imagine a discussion between the characters I was at 13, 20, 30, and the one I am now. We would disagree on many things and everyone of us would have some points. The difference with a real discussion is that we would have to be understanding to each other...