The serious conversation with the wife about the cult (page 6)

xjwms

Good for you

My wife just will not talk about this cult with me.

Its like she is her own little world going to meetings and planning assemblies....and leaving me alone.

.

xjwms, that can be peace also. My wife is coming around to understanding
how I feel, but she still has hopes for me. While we have a great relationship,
I will have to stand up to her to say "I don't want to go to the K.H."
No matter what, our relationship is built on trust and communication, so we
will talk about things, many husbands (or wives) don't want to talk about
everything.

becca1

I.m sending you a PM

OnTheWayOut

I will not have them to my home, I have already learned that I would need to meet them where I can walk away
at any time. They will not include my wife (afraid to let her see open questioning of the WTS) in the discussions
and I already know that I MUST DANCE WITH THE BOE OR C.O. meaning that I cannot give them enough to
form a judicial committee.

Some of you said I was smart not to meet with them in my home, but in a place I can walk away from.
One of you pointed out to me that I do not need to meet with them at all. It would serve no real
purpose at this point. If I am interested in helping my wife, then I should just stick to that.

Thanks for truly helping me. When they call me out, I will just say NO THANKS. I think my
stubborn streak was saying I could meet with the elders and avoid saying anything to get myself in
trouble. While this may or may not be true, there's no real point in the meeting. I am done with them.
Fading now is a matter of staying away from the BOE and the CO.

vitty

penny2 said

When I was at the point of only attending a few meetings, I received a shepherding visit. They asked me why I was hardly attending meetings and hadn't put in a report for a while, I said simply, "I've lost my faith." They said, "Would you like someone to study with you?" I said, "No, I have all the books and know what I have to do. If I need you, I'll let you know." They were very satisfied with that and I never heard from them again.

I was wondering if this is acceptable for most elders, and if so then I think more faders could use it without being threatened with DF or being labeled apostate and shunned. Surely they cannot DF you for losing your faith?

Sorry to going off subject, but OTWO you were an elder maybe you could answer this?

agapa37

"By removing the negative influences that prevent you from independent thinking."

Thats is many peoples error in thinking. Christianity is ALL about control. We are to put on the mind of Christ and think the way he does. Jesus thinks totally different from us imperfect humans. Yes, the bible CONTROLS our minds and we are cautioned to steer away from independent thinking and again, to think like Jesus!

exjdub

Christianity is ALL about control

I have to agree with you there, but then, I have already visited that Hell for too many years and decided that I would like to keep my mind under my control. I find freedom of thought to be so exhilarating that I shall not give it up ever again.

exjdub

OnTheWayOut

Christianity is ALL about control.

There is nothing wrong with controlling your thoughts- if you are aware and approve of
giving that control away for a higher purpose. You can have cravings controlled by
expert therapy to give up bad habits or to diet.

While I do not want ANY religion to control my thinking, I can understand those of you
who give control to Christ through your church or to God through your temple. I just
object to those that kill your ability to independently think on anything. Example with
the JW's- they take the people of ancient Beroea and say this:

By comparing our beliefs with God’s Word, we imitate the people of ancient Beroea, who
made sure that Paul’s teachings harmonized with the Scriptures. Rather than criticize the
Beroeans, Luke commended them for their attitude. They "received the word with the greatest
eagerness of mind," he wrote, "carefully examining the Scriptures daily as to whether these
things were so." (Acts 17:11) In view of the contradictory religious and moral teachings that
abound today, it is important that we imitate the example of the noble-minded Beroeans.

Then the JW's tell you the important thing for the Beroeans was that they accepted what they
were told, they just checked to make sure. The WTS is to be accepted as truth, just check
our little scriptures listed near anything we say, and they will not disprove what we said. Until
you are convinced that it is true, just accept it with eagerness as the Beroeans did.

Surely they cannot DF you for losing your faith

That depends on the BOE. For the most part, you can quote their literature that says they will
not DF someone who has doubts. Stick with "spiritually weak" or "unsure" or "doubts" but I
strongly recommend avoiding "lost my faith." Some elders will push for you to accept or reject
all doctrine- most will not bother with you if you don't encourage others to doubt.
Notice how they can go either way:

***

w98 6/1p.19 par.17 "Put Up aHard Fightfor theFaith"!***

17

Third, Jude urges us to continue showing mercy. (Jude 22) His own example in this regard is remarkable. After all, he was rightly disturbed over the corruption, immorality, and apostasy creeping into the Christian congregation. Nevertheless, he did not succumb to panic, adopting the view that the times were somehow too dangerous to show such a "soft" quality as mercy. No, he urged his brothers to continue to show mercy whenever possible, reasoning kindly with those suffering from doubts and even ‘snatching from the fire’ those straying close to serious sin. (Jude 23; Galatians 6:1) What fine exhortation for elders in these troubled times! They too endeavor to show mercy wherever there is a basis for it, while still being firm when necessary.

rolling rock

new boy

"What is sad is the ones who where smart enough to not get baptized get rewarded with fellowship.......

The poor kids who got baptized at 15 (to keep everyone happy)..........are screwed....if they ever leave.

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! "

I'm so glad that my dad would not let me get baptized. And he was an elder at the time I wanted to...

jam

1987 my last meeting attendence. Lost my family, wife four kids two sons two daughters. Today, both my sons are out and doing very well. My son ex wife thier son her sister and husband and kids are out. One of my daughters her husband and my grand kids come by to visit me regular they are jws. The year I left there were 28 family members jws. Non jws families 16... Today 40 non jws and counting, jws family members 22 and falling.

The serious conversation with the wife about the cult

Share this