I told my wife why I wouldn't comment at the last WT Study

OnTheWayOut

I told my wife (faithful JW) that this past Sunday, I found some objection to the
WT study and could not raise my hand. She had wanted to know why I did not comment.

I mentioned the question and the expected answer for para. 3.

Q3) Why are some no longer Jehovah's Witnesses?
3 Some who once had faith have not remained in God's love. Because they have chosen to pursue a
sinful course, they are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses. How can you avoid such an experience?
Meditating on the following points may help you to refrain from sin and to keep yourself in God's love.

I said the expected answer from the paragraph is: Because they have chosen to pursue a
sinful course, they are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses.

I went on to say: "Imagine if someone answered this way:

Some have decided that they disagree with WTS doctrines, and even though they still love
God and have high moral values, they leave Jehovah's Witnesses.

This is almost totally opposite of the parrot-answer, yet it is as valid an answer as the other.
There was no apostasy or sin or blasphemy or anything wrong with that statement."

My wife agreed, saying that I had a different answer that wasn't covered, but valid.
I stated, "What do you suppose would happen if I said that answer?"

"Nothing, they would move on."

"They would move on during the meeting, but I don't think nothing would happen. I would find
myself sitting with 2 elders who would expect me to apologize for my answer and try to grill me
into changing my opinion, or else they would proceed with a Judicial Committee for apostasy."

"No, that's silly."

"I believe it would happen. Also at the recent Service Meeting about blood fractions, suppose I
asked, "Why does the paragraph say that blood must be be poured out on the ground according to
the old testament, unless your conscience allows it to go through a machine, BUT then they say it
is a conscience matter whether to use fractions from donated blood, but a violation of God's law to
actually donate blood?" My wife had some trouble understanding such a complex question, because
she went into JW mode- DO NOT QUESTION THE WTS. I said this question would get me in the
back room also.

Eventually, she thought she understood, and said "If your conscience bothers you about accepting
fractions from donated blood, then don't."

"No, my problem is that they say JW's do not donate any blood, but can accept fractions from worldly
people donating blood. If they apply a Mosaic Law code to US- pour it on the ground, then they should
have to apply it to others' blood. Or if it's a conscience matter one way, receiving- then it should be a
conscience matter the other way, donating."

"Well, maybe, but in both your examples, you can't just question things at the meetings- You need to
do it in private."

"Why, so other JW's don't hear it?"

"Yes."

"But in the first example, I was just answering the paragraph question, not questioning any doctrine.
In the second case, I would have been getting clarification at a Service Meeting for JW's only. It was
a question and answer session designed to aid JW's to understand their own stand on Blood."

THAT WAS ALL MY WIFE COULD TAKE. I felt good saying it to her. She was nudged a little toward
understanding my current problem with WTS, but I did not get too far. Any comments on where to go
from this point, next?

bernadette

that was very courageous ontwo.

Part of my strategy is to start forging links with nonjw's. Last night my jw husband accompanied me to a dinner party at my nonjw sister's home. All nonjw family there, christmas tree the works. He was very relaxed and happy to be there once he'd got through the door.

bernadette

Kaput

Nice job with the "pour the blood on the ground" illustration. I wouldn't make this a daily "find something wrong with the Society" deal (we know where THAT leads), but I think that by occasionally highlighting discrepancies (subtly) it will help her to begin thinking on her own.

OnTheWayOut

Thanks Kaput and Bernadette.

I am trying to expand her exposure to "worldly" folks a bit. She goes to
dinner with someone from college about once a month. The woman definitely
doesn't want to study JW doctrines. I encouraged her to team up with a
co-worker on some projects- working well. I dragged her to my office
year-end party (making them promise to not referr to it as a Christmas Party).

She certainly doesn't get daily exposure to new ideas that conflict with WTS.
I bring them up every now and then, mostly just waiting for her to ask about them.
She asked about why I did not comment. She (and the elders) have still not asked
why I have not gone out in field service for 3 months now. When the elders ask, I will
tell her what they asked about, and what I said, or perhaps they will never ask- fine.

orangefatcat

I believe the conversation with your wife was an excellent way to draw out her true feelings about the beliefs expressed in the WT. using simple logistics?

Hopefully she sees what you are trying to get across to her with out you being accused of apostacy. Play it in a safe-mode first and then see how it all goes.

Good luck

Orangefatcat.

BrentR

Rest assured she is contemplating those questions. I left the Borg not because of the demonstrators wearing paper bags over thier heads. It was the fringe JW's that asked me questions and trusted I would not rat them out.

Clear and independant thought along with seeing people live happy successful lives outside the Borg is the single biggest threat. It's no wonder they have to label us as sinners. How else can they keep the RF away from us?

If and when a JW leaves the borg I want it to be because of thier own decision and mental clarity not me trying to pull them away. I call it the Borg Bridge since I do not shun them. Many of them knew that they had me a true friend so in a metaphorical way I was the "bridge across" for them.

diamondblue1974

I enjoyed reading about your exchange of words with your wife and think you handled it brilliantly.

When put simply the point is well made.

DB74

diamondblue1974

I enjoyed reading about your exchange of words with your wife and think you handled it brilliantly.

When put simply the point is well made.

DB74

geevee

I say, good work. This is a very good way of quietly being able to get a point across, that she will think about later.

This also raises an interesting side point. Just in the last week or so we have noticed a difference in the way the dubz have been in their attitudes and actions toward us. Where once they would at least say hello [we are non attenders/not df of da] they have been more wierd, trying to avoid us and going to pains to do it.

This paragraph may hold some explanation. We will have to wait for a week or two until they move onto some other crap before it rteturns to normal!!!

OnTheWayOut

I will lay low for now, as far as pushing doctrinal contradictions on the wife,
unless she asks.

Also, she seems very insecure about being alone in her future. She has stated
that she is very happy to have me with her. "Don't go anywhere. Stay with me."
Not in a morbid possessive way, but I can't type all the feelings she has.

I plan to use this insecurity in the future. I want, very much, to escape the borg
with my wife, or at least with my marriage intact (if she won't leave them).
As my fade progresses, I will tell her that I plan on staying loyal to her, but I could
never stand her spying on me for the elders, looking to DF me. I hope this situation
never occurs, but I will pressure her to choose between silence and organization
loyalty. I think I can convince her that silence is not disloyalty to God.

I told my wife why I wouldn't comment at the last WT Study

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