How I lost my soul mate.

by Abandoned 38 Replies latest social relationships

  • Nosferatu

    Hello Abandoned. Sorry you had to go through this, but I think most people have at least one experience like this under their belt (including myself).

    There's a lot of lessons that can be learned from an experience like this:

    1) Don't stick your dink in the company ink
    2) No gifts or poetry early in the relationship (it shows desperation)
    3) Rebound relationships usually don't work
    4) Avoid putting heavy emotional investment into a young relationship
    5) There is no such thing as a "soulmate"

    I'm going to expand on the whole "soulmate" idea. To conclude that there is ONE right woman in the world for you, and that this woman was her is rediculous if you put it in proportion. Think about it: there are BILLIONS of women in this world, and I doubt that you've dated even a small fraction of them. How could you possibly know that this is your "soulmate" or the only woman who was for you?

    I bought into the whole soulmate idea when I was with my ex. Even though I'm married, I've abandoned this concept as it's quite rediculous. I now believe in having an "ideal mate", but not a soulmate.

  • Abandoned

    Thanks for the comments everyone. There's A LOT more to this story. This short romance would make up a novel with all the twists, turns, and outside interference, but I had to condense it and that's that. One thing that I wanted to include but forgot to while I was updating this from the smaller version I sent out to a few friends is that one other reason that she was down on me was on account of a question she asked me.

    She asked me while we were at her house that Wednesday if I believed she was my soulmate. I don't know why but I told her no. I don't know why. I'm not sure if I was worried about her getting scared away or what. To this day I'm as confused about my answer as anyone, but once I gave it, I gave it. She was disappointed. She told me that maybe all she'd gone through with doofus brain made sense if it lead her to her soulmate.

    I still don't think I've met anyone who I've meshed with as well as her, but things don't always work out. I still have the photo I took of her the night I took her to dinner. She has the biggest smile I've ever seen. That night I knew what I'd found. Anyway, thanks guys.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Your saying No to her question about being her soulmate helps the story.
    Too many ups and downs for her. You were very intense, but not her
    soulmate- that could be viewed as obsessive compulsive or stalking.

    Poems and a song before the first date- he ought to be the soulmate.

    My opinion only- Don't expect anything to come of this, but mail her
    the story you typed out. Include the title. End it with something like-
    "Sorry I messed things up- I think we could have had something special."
    Then let it go if you never hear back.

  • mouthy

    There is no such thing as a "soulmate"
    I disagree with the above comment.... I Do believe in soulmates ./I have had one for 17 years ( he is ticked off with me now ) but I dont think I ever met anyone who seems to touch my soul as he did .
    I think your poetry is very revealing. I hope you made a booklet of them all. I feel it wasnt to be!!!! - if folks are so judgemental about our past "sins"they will rememeber it for the life time & I bet would throw it up in troubletimes....when hitched....
    So try to forget her... Once you tried to end your life.... that would really turn her off. As I personally feel suicide is a very unkind thing for the living to handle.So my darling Abandoned!!! Dont ever do that again ( Grannies orders) because you are a VERY TALENTED POET!!!! you write from the heart....Keep putting your heart feelings on paper. Just dont name anyone....
    So change your monicker from Abandoned to "REPRIEVED" cos I think that is what you are


  • BabaYaga

    So sorry you are still hurting... and I agree with Our Beloved Grace (Mouthy)... YOU ARE NOT ABANDONED.

    Hugs and strength to you... I will say no more as I agree with so many of the posts already.



    Hi Abandoned,

    Sorry to hear how you won and lost Amber. Potentially could have been a beautiful romance story. Painful stuff, that is.

    I do believe there is such a thing as a soul mate. If Amber is your soul mate there is nothing that could really take her away from you. I also know that there are many soul mate possibilities. Even if you never win her heart back, you may take the lessons from this relationship into your next one, which may be healthier for both of you.

    It sounds like you and Amber both have your respective healing journeys ahead of you. To heal and be healthy emotionally, I figure both of you would benefit from talking things over with a professional---but separately. The suicide attempt is a cry for help. You may wish to talk to your family doctor about the kind of help most appropriate for your situation. Sounds to me like you both have your own issues to work through and heal.

    I send you healing vibes.


  • zanex

    Dude...yer poetry is on point...I only wonder if she was really willing to go as deep as your poems went...I know how you feel, but take heed...there IS such a thing as a soulmate...I found mine and I've not had what one would call a very positive history with relationships.

    On a different note...I read yer story and maybe for future reference...ladies tend to shy away from any mention of sure u dont need me to tell ya that...



  • penny2

    (((Abandoned))) - I too send you my healing vibes.



    If you were a horse,we`d have to shoot you...OUTLAW

  • sass_my_frass

    The impression of her from here is a flaky fundie, who isn't so bright. And the thing is, a relationship with real potential doesn't fail over one stupid question; and "Are you my soul mate" is a very stupid question.

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