Advice please! (kinda urgent)

by Schism 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Schism

    OK, so let's say you haven't gone to a meeting in a while. Then along comes the CO visit (the first since you've stopped attending). Everyone has pretty much left you alone up until this point, right? So no one knows that you hate everything about the meetings. In fact, they think you aren't going because you are depressed. When actually, you are having the time of your life!

    So now the phone calls begin. "We love you, miss you, want/NEED you to come to the meetings this week. The CO is in!!!!!!" (Yeah, like that's some kind of incentive to get me to go...) He is a pious douche. I totally can't stand his attitude. Everyone else seems to absolutely LOVE, I mean LOVE him. He's one of those "too good for you" types.

    Someone was already plotting to literally come to my house today to kidnap me and take me to the TMS. I say kidnap, but I mean drop by to pressure me (force me) to get into the car and ride there. Same thing though...

    I don't hate these people, and I don't want to hurt their feelings. Many are family. I am just NOT going to another meeting, EVER!

    Is there a nice way to say that without doing too much damage? I want to be sensitive to their feelings but they will drive me up the wall if I am too nice. I have had my time to be "depressed" and now I need to go back, according to them. I need another excuse!

  • lola28

    Illness, tell them you are really sick with a "stomach" thing and just cant make, could someone please take notes or record the meeting for you? See that makes it sound like you are upset that you can't make it and like you are a tiny bit intrested. Worked for me.


  • OnTheWayOut

    My opinion, elevate the depression.

    If you have visited a doctor for any reason, take any medicine for any reason, NOW you see the doctor for clinical depression and take medicine for it. You freak out at times, especially when in a crowd.

    It's either that or start down the road of "I hate the meetings." If that comes out with very little explanation, perhaps they can assume it is from your depression. Just say the truth, but don't complete the thoughts.

    Why aren't you coming to the Kingdom Hall?

    I hate the meetings.


    I just hate them, I cannot really even think about them, or give you the reason.
    I hate even talking about it, GO NOW.

    What can we do to help?

    GO NOW, don't even talk about the meetings. ARRGG.


    Depression lasts for years with some people!!! Just tell them you're just not up to going to the meetings at the present time and that you will call them when you feel better...which of course will never happen. Screen your calls and delete the messages!!!


  • Fatfreek

    There are a couple of schools of thought.

    First, congratulations on making up your mind as to your feelings about the borg. I did my thing some 29 years ago.

    However, what I did then (volunteered for DF via apostasy) is not necessarily what I would do today. By doing that I lost contact with two of my boys and they shun me to this day.

    Today I would lean toward what you are currently doing and continue to pose the depression gimmick. Yes, it's a bit of untruth but they taught us how to do that in times of theocratic war?

    Further, with all the things you know you can be a great assistance to your cause (and many of us) by working from the "inside". Remember, if they announce you from the platform as no longer one of the JW's you'll find that working from the outside is quite difficult. You can't influence those whom you can't talk to. Plus, you'll probably miss contact with some of those in your family that you now cherish.


  • What-A-Coincidence
    I have had my time to be "depressed" and now I need to go back, according to them. I need another excuse!

    Tell them:

    "I need time to sort things out, thank you for your concern, "but in the meantime I need to be left alone so please respect my decision

    "if you were going through what I am going through you would understand"

    STICK TO YOUR DEPRESSION. Hell, print out articles and give them to them

    Dr. Ker(wac)kian M.D. LOCAL 666

    EDIT: Tell them: "Jehovah knows what I am going through and he understands, but in the meantime I need to be left alone so please respect my decision?

  • Sunspot

    Is there a nice way to say that without doing too much damage? I want to be sensitive to their feelings but they will drive me up the wall if I am too nice. I have had my time to be "depressed" and now I need to go back, according to them. I need another excuse!

    Frankly, I can think of 25 smart-aleck things off the top of my head that you could throw at them.....but you sound I won't go there.

    You already ARE being sensitive to their feelings.....its YOUR feelings that are not being considered, right?

    How "long" should depression last? Who are "they" to determine when you are ready to face the world or not? Just SAY "you are not ready" and let it go at that!

    You KNOW you're gonna hear all the you should be at the meetings" jazz, but you'll have to learn to handle it and go about YOUR business...YOUR way. Just stand your ground and don't offer any excuses to mae THEM feel better. It won't work anyhow!

    (sigh)......JWs can be such a pushy lot, huh?

    Hang in there....



  • What-A-Coincidence

    Best Trek Excuses for Missing a Meeting

    10. I was inhabited by an alien who took my body to Risa.

    9. I misread the holographic display of the minutes and thought the meeting was tomorrow.

    8. I was caught in a temporal loop, so to me this is tomorrow.

    7. It is a violation of my cultural beliefs to attend any sort of group function which coincides with our celebration of the coming of the Blessed Nebula.

    6. Gee, my combadge must not be working right.

    5. What? Weren't we at battlestations? I could have sworn I heard we were at battlestations.

    4. I was recalibrating the phase variance of the lateral configuration array in the tertiary nacelle chamber when an unexpected fluctuation in the bilateral interphase matrix necessitated a delay. Did I miss anything?

    3. I never got the memo. I suspect a Romulan conspiracy.

    2. My boss needed my brain to run the Xerox machine.

    1. The transporter was slow.


    28. I can't tell you why I'm late...Temporal Prime Directive. -- JD

    27. To be honest, I was searching the database and found something called "Playboy." -- Startrek1fan711

    26. I had to avert a warp core breach. -- Amanda

    25. Section 31 made me do it. -- ruben47

    24. While on a business trip, the locals hit me in the head, stole my communicaor, and kept me locked up in a small hut or a prison cell. Fortunately, my assistant cleverly pretended to be sick, luring the guard in to the cell (or a hut, it’s all a little hazy) so I could clobber him and escape. -- Ronbo

    23. I wore the red shirt on an away mission to Nausicaa, but Q brought me back to life to fix my first big mistake so - here I am! -- Ben

    22. Your species isn't ready for that information yet. -- evay

    21. I'm a doctor, not a bureaucrat. -- Ginny

    20. I was modeling leather casualwear in the Mirror Universe. -- Ginny

    19. I got lucky in Unimatrix Zero. -- Ginny

    18. I evolved to a higher state of being, but I'm coming back for the quarterly meeting, and there will be hell to pay. -- Ginny

    17. I was dead. -- Ginny

    16. My pet targ ate my appointment calendar. -- Debra

    15. I worked so fast I experienced relativity effects. -- Debra

    14. I was trapped in a malfunctioning holodeck for several hours. -- Debra

    13. My ship ran out of dilithium. -- Debra

    12. Starfleet protocols prohibit me from attending meetings. -- Debra

    11. I was abducted to the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker. -- Debra

  • codeblue

    Depression card works well.

    Tell them you are toooooo depressed for visits and will call when you can take them... (never)

  • Schism

    LOL, I love reading all your posts!

    Well, it would be easier if my parents weren't involved. They also live next door to me, lol. I think they can tell how happy I am nowadays. That's why I believe the depression card is running out

    Oh yes, and my husband told my dad not long ago that he believed the Bible was a crock of crap. Now they will want to know if I believe that way too, and they'll want an "honest" answer.

    I want to be honest and tell them that I don't believe in God and that I am SO happy, I mean REALLY REALLY happy ever since I decided to not worship anyone. Evolution fascinates me. The meetings made me angry, and me and my man would fight over nothing at all. Marriage is so fun now, and we really have a life full of just hanging out and cutting up with each other, and we don't want to share ourselves with a room full of 100+ wackos.

    They also shouldn't have forced me to get baptised when I was 13. That was not what I wanted to do.

    Can I say that in a nice way? Or is this just going to be impossible?

Share this