What kind of Ex-dub are you?

by MsMcDucket 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Stealth453

    I am just happy that I am an ex-dub. Period.

  • Chameleon

    right now I'm a double agent.

  • atypical

    You are a smart ex-dub. Like someone else said, the cult mentality is at its best during confrontation. No matter how much sense you make, you will be made to fit into a preconceived idea about the so-called disastrous consequences of leaving the group. The only thing they have absolutely no weapon for is someone who leaves and prospers, while showing discretion and kindness to their old friends and family. Keep up the good work.

  • free2beme

    One who practices witchcraft. I am Pagan, and actually someone who cares about people a lot and tries to make the world a better place.

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    The best way to teach is by example. You are doing that by refraining from a destructive cult. By showing your daughters unconditional love, they will realize that ex-JWs are not evil. That could someday set up the opportunity for their minds to open a bit and then you will be there for them.

    I have two beautiful young adult children trapped by the cult, and I have decided I will do what I must to stay in their lives. I don't think that makes us have a lack of integrity. Do you really want to hear about their truth? They probably don't want to hear about yours right now or they would ask.

    Keep leading by example and love and the end results may surprise us all.

  • JWdaughter

    You have integrity. I think you also have a sense of timing. You can't just spew this stuff on them and maintain your relationship. You are the 'wise' kind of ex JW, and when there is a natural place to mention things, you can. Sometimes there will be natural anger. But little bursts are different than a long running harrangue. Try to be topical and specific. And set your best example with love, kindness and joy. Share that with them. Be the proof that EX JWs aren't what the JWs think. Be honest and ready when they are ready to ask questions. You don't need to be shoving anything down their throat, they know where to go if they have serious doubt. And they will. They all do-they are lucky to have a safe place to go.

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    I am an ahteist, but not an animal. I am not trusting and yet a humanist. I'm an intospective loner and yet still see the need for human contact. A walking contradiction. Still very troubled.

  • vitty

    I had an interesting time when my daughter visited me. I had to talk to her about a couple of subjects, she asked me if I was still going to meetings and I said no. It was such a relief to say it but she said I sounded apostate, so I had to curb what I said.

    I feel so guilty knowing what I know but I have to keep quiet because I want a relationship with her. If that is being weak then so be it.

    My husband just wants her to know everything and take the risk of shunning. But I want to build a relationship with her without the org, so that she feels that we are more important to her than the WT

    I just hope there will be a time in the future, when she sees the WT for what it is.

  • Reefton Jack
    Reefton Jack

    avidbiblereader - as far as I am concerned, you have hit the proverbial "nail on the head".

    i.e The issue is, what sort of a person you are.
    It is not for me to judge how better a person I have become since breaking with the Dubs 12 years ago
    - but I know one thing, it is not for want of trying!


  • MsMcDucket

    Everyone thanks for the responses. I'm trying to let them find their own way, but I think about "What if's?". Like what if they start having doubts about the organization and then start thinking that they are going crazy or being attacked by Satan. I know that being a witness has driven many to suicide or insanity. I don't know if they will come to me IF this ever occurs or not. They'll, probably, go to some elder who will make them feel even worse.

    Right now, they're happy (I think). They spend most of their time out in field service pioneering. One twin quit college to be a full-time pioneer. She works as a pharmacy tech. The other twin is still in college and working and pioneering. I think that they are going to wear themselves out and end up in some sort of dysfunctional state and blame themselves for their inability to keep going at it.

    I'm going to have to try to stay out of it, and wait and see if they come to me. I have a neice that is a witness. She's much older than they are and she seems to be BALANCED (if you know what I mean?). I think that they will call her before they would call me. Hopefully, she will be able to keep them from feeling to badly about themselves when they crash.

    Thanks everyone for your support!

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