My sister (E) has been shunning me for 5 years this past November. It all started when I began to have doubts and she tried to "reason" with me from the scriptures. But all that would end up happening is that I would make her have doubts (hmmmm, wonder why).
Anyway, I felt a great loss when she stopped talking to me. She would look away if I happened to enter a room. She didn't come to my baby shower when I had my son and she didn't invite me to her wedding. We were the only dubs in our family so the rest of the "wordly" family was invited. I was the lone-loser!
She moved to Idaho on a special assignment with her pioneer husband about a year ago. She has kept in periodic contact with the family. And when she asks about my family she mentioned every member by name but excludes me. This is the level to which she has gone.
She is in town and I live 5 minutes away from our other sister. Wednesday I went to my sister's house to pick up my kids and E was there. When she saw me, she ran inside and went upstairs and stayed in a room so as not to have contact with me. THAT's pretty bad. The most deliberate shunning I've ever heard of. To boot, I have never been shunned by ANY OTHER JW -- not EVER! Just my sister.
So yesterday I said, "What the heck? I'm going to go over there and talk to her about it." But I didn't know what I was going to say. It was a spur of the moment decision with no time to think.
When I got there her husband was outside and I asked him to call E. He said, "Yeah sure." (Amazingly even her husband has never shunned me.) So a minute later out she comes with this strange look on her face. The look of fear. Like she thought I was going to attack her or be mean to her. Who knows what she was thinking? So the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "I'm sorry." And she started crying and I started crying. And we both hugged and she said she was sorry too for handling things the wrong way. That's all it took. I had handled things so poorly that I was the one who pushed her away. Rather, I made it easy for her to take the Watchtower hard line to the limit!
So we talked and caught up a little bit. Then she said she has missed me so much and never stopped loving me. I told her the same and that losing her was a very hard loss. She said she might not understand what I've been through or why I made the decisions I've made but that "Jehovah" understands and that's all that matters. I told her she was right. That I was trying to rush things that cannot be rushed.
Anyway, I know we will keep in contact from now on. She lives far away and I'm sure we will not talk about religion. We both learned our lesson. But there are so many other things to talk about. We were always like two peas in a pod.
I can't help but thinking that someday, if I play it right, the door will be opened for me to plant more doubt. I have to be gentle with her because she is a very delicate person. But at least I know I have my sister back!
IN YOUR FACE to the PUKES in Brooklyn!