I Don't Believe in God, or wait, Maybe I Do. . . a little wisdom please?

by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    I am conflicted as to whether I can or even want to believe in God. (using capital G out of respect) I can't separate love of God and my JW life. I pioneered for 10+ years, and thank goodness for that, because I can now easily memorize anything and read upside down. I abhor flat shoes, floral skirts and sternly reject persons who wear high heels without hose.

    I'm angry at the whole concept. I know religious friends and co-workers, and they seem content with their practice of religion. I have ingrained in me that if you know 'it' you're obligated to practice 'it' wholly-that lends to the whole ugly holy belief system and lists of dos and do nots or else. If God is indeed real, I don't believe that he/she/them has anything but love and acceptance for you/us/me. I admire the people I know who believe in God and/or Jesus, are confident with it and don't live an austere life as a result.

    When I analyze what I believed or was led to believe as a Hoho, I conclude this: As a JW I believed that God is an angry God who feeds on our soldiering endurance and tears, and we can appease him by being superior to others.

  • candidlynuts

    i'm conflicted too.. since leaving the jw's and reading the bible independently of watchtower publications its like there are two Gods described in the bible. the vicious war god of the old testament and the love your neighbor god of the old testament. also as i gain a broader understanding of the world , i wonder about muslims, buddhists, pagans, wiccans, hindus etc.. many people BELIEVE something and they believe it with the same fervor and depth that i believed as a jw. its like.......... belief has no value anymore now that i know the watchtower is wrong.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I had similar thoughts when I left the jws, but not any more. I was an atheist before the jws persuaded me to believe their bs at age 21, and I have returned to that. I guess this comment of yours goes a long way towards saying why

    If God is indeed real, I don't believe that he/she/them has anything but love and acceptance for you/us/me.

    That is what I imagine god should be like, if he does exist, and I accept that my not believing in him doesn't mean he isn't there, I've been wrong before. But that isn't the type of god I believed in as a jw. That god was a vengeful being, a mass slaughterer of anyone who even slightly pi**ed him off. He was a god to be feared rather than loved. Now I'm out of the wts, I no longer want any kind of relationship with that kind of god, he's so cruel and unloving. I can't possibly give him my worship, because I don't think he's done anything to deserve it.

    I'd rather not believe in god at all than believe in a god like that.

  • Highlander

    I no longer believe in a god. In many ways, I don't think I ever did fully believe in one. I'm current agnostic, and am open to the idea of their being a god of some sort.

    However I must say this, if there is a god by the name of jehovah that is full of hatred and vengence as described in the bible, then I would rather die that serve that a'hole.

    Or if there is an all loving, caring god, then he/she/it will understand my views and accept me for who I am and what I've experienced.

  • LittleToe

    I believe in God, but IMHO He's a bit bigger than a vengefully deity who needs placating all the time with good deeds.

    If fervour leads to having to tell everyone about it all the time, with a proselytising air, then IMHO that is more likely the very human aspect of fundamentalism and is no more godly than a bullet!

    Just "be".

  • megsmomma

    Ok...my 2 cents here......I only believe in what Jesus taught once he came. If you get a Bible that has his words in RED and just read that, it may help. It did for me.

  • JWdaughter

    I decided that religion is in the business of creating God so that they can control other people. I still think there is a God, but I don't know about the rest of it.

  • evetteto

    Ok... i understand how the dubs can turn anyone off from God being His love is (according to the JW's) conditional. However, having a personal relationship with Jesus you will begin to know the True God and His Love for you I strongly suggest reading the Word in a bible other then the NWT. Romans 8 is a very good chapter to study and understand the Love God has for you. Dont allow the evil of the borg(which I really dont know what the letters stand for...HELP) deter you from the Creator, whom you were made for fellowship with...He has apparently removed the scales from your eyes for a purpose...you are currently in your Damascus Road experience...Take Heart.....evette

  • BrentR

    It has taken me two decades to get the JW version of God seperated out to what the bible and other ancient texts talk about. As long as you are searching then you will be open to new and more sane info.

    After learning that the Roman Senate pretty much decided which collection of ancient writtings should be bound together to become the bible I am bit more confused. What about all the books that were not included? Why no female authors? As corupt of a government they were I really have some serious questions.

  • avidbiblereader

    Dear Pioneer spit or spirit, I know what you mean, I have been out for 6 1/2 years and for the first 2 years was so disillusioned, angry, upset, hurt and ever other possible negative emotion that I didn't pick up a Bible or pray for that entire time. Then I got to thinking is this right to take this out on Jah as it is evident that to ME their is a Creator. Sad that religion has turned many many away from God instead of toward Him. I struggled for a long time to get a grip on Who this author of the Bible was or is. One day I prayed very sincere and from the depths of my heart and asked Him to help me know who he is. Now after 4+ years of reading pretty much only the Bible I have come to appreciate that The True God is not a God who cannot be satified as the Witness teach. "Can you do more, Can you increase your service, Can you become more effective? All this is not found in the Bible, but what is, is a very loving God who knows that we cannot do more. We are dust and have the deck stacked against us from day one. What we have is a loving God who has supplied the sacrifice for us. I believe this is one of the reasons that the Witnesses don't teach more about Christ, there is where you will find peace and rest from the relentless preaching of the Witnesses to do more. If you just pick up the Bible and beg God to reveal to you what He wants you to see from His written Word. Try flushing your mind from the Witness teaching and read only His Word with a prayful attitude and beg Him to reveal Himself to you. I mostly read on the NT and the teaching of the Christ. The witnesses teach that God can never be satisfied, that is part of their problems that they face. Men were not made to be forced or force fed propaganda. Go to Jah in prayer and beg him for his help

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