2 Elders Tell My Mom That She Should Take Me Off Her Health Care Assistance

by minimus 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    My elderly mom had 2 visits from the elders. She requested Hospital Liason help because she frequently has been having to go to the hospital, her blood count is low and doctors have told her that because she's a Witness, there are certain procedures that make it difficult to attend to her without blood. When the elders visited her , they recommended that because I "could" decide to give her blood, that I should not be the first person called with rights to give her life saving treatments. I asked my mom if she was taking me off the primary list as her son and she said "no". I have told her that I would not give her any blood or any treatment that she did not want out of respect for her.......These elders are really something!

  • blondie

    Just another way to separate you from your mom, min, and control her.


  • minimus

    I'm very surprised they don't go after me.

  • Mulan


    I am on my mother's Advanced Directive, along with one of the elders. She knows I would never go against her wishes.

    Maybe you need to call one of those elders and explain things to him.

  • lovelylil


    BRAVO to your mom for not giving into the elder's pressure! She knows you and knows you will decide the matter according to what SHE would want.

    I was on the flip side of this once. I was a JW and my Protestant Mother was very ill with cancer. She and the rest of the family decided to put me in charge of her care and treatment since I have some medical training. My mom went into a coma due to an infection and needed a blood transfusion and I knew SHE would want it, so I signed the papers on her behalf. She knew she could trust me to do what is best for her accoding to her wishes and was never concerned with me being a JW. And your mom knows you will do the same for her. BTW: my mom survived that scare and lived 4 1/2 more years because of it but unfortunately succumed to the cancer anyway. But I never regretted signing for the blood and cherish the additonal time I had with her.

    How old is your mom? In most states if the elders get involved in personal matters and put pressure on older ones that cause stress to them - this would be considered elder abuse! And I would certainly tell the elders that you WILL turn them in unless they BUTT OUT. This is a private family matter. Also, it may not even be LEGAL in your state for them to be involved in your mom's personal health decisions. You may want to go to your local court system and see if you can get some free or low cost legal advice on this. Lilly

  • minimus

    I avoid them like they do me.

  • blondie

    Remember when seeing when hostages are taken? There is always some who don't care if they are shot as long as the others are safe. The hostage takers then threaten to shoot the more helpless one that the strong one will protect to control that person.

    The elders always made life difficult for my hubbie rather to indirectly make life difficult for me. Just made him leave.


  • LongHairGal


    I don't know how old your mom is but I heard a story of a sickly elderly JW lady who was moved to a secret location by her non-JW family members. They were afraid she would be "persuaded" to give her money to the religion and cheat them out of their inheritance. This is a REAL danger.

    I heard of instances where JW elders would visit elderly sick ones and the conversation would be steered to "giving", etc. What nerve! This may be common practice. You have to be careful!



    Min..You really should have a chat with these assh*les...OUTLAW

  • oppgirl63

    The same thing happened to me a couple of months ago. My roommate has me on her directive (I'm not a JW..never was) and when one of the pioneer sisters at her KH found out I was not interested in studying or becoming a JW, she told my roommate that it would be good idea if she took me off her directive. My roommate told her no because she knows that I'm a person of my word and I'll carry out her wishes...not mine.

    Another thing...I asked my roommate that if I ever let her make any medical decisions for me (I only have my Mother right now and one day I may be alone) and I needed blood, would she made sure I got it. She said that she would. Could she get in trouble being a baptized witness and allowing her non-JW roomate to receive a transfusion? I just don't want to get into a position where I could be ill and not able to make a decision for myself and all the people in her congregation would pressure her not to follow my wishes.

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