JW's at door, some x-mas decorations up, can an elder visit be far behind?

by kitten whiskers 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    Well friends, This is long....be forewarned It appears our first celebration of christmas may end the fade. Just had an elder's wife and ministerial servants wife visit as they were working our territory. We live on a cul-de-sac in a one road sub-division. Not a road anyone other than the homeowners take, EXCEPT when being blessed with salesmen or jw's. AUGH................... Those who remember, "Hypno-Toad" and I just exited this past year. Not gone to any meetings since the first of the year. We moved down to Georgia from Michigan. That helped with the family issues as we moved before fading. We have 2 young ones so are trying to make this a wonderful time of year. Have found a church we like, even have the kids involved in the choir for the christmas program!!!!! Sent our first christmas gift to a girl in Mexico involved with the church's missionaries down there. Planning on office x-mas parties. Ready to visit Santa. Just had Thanksgiving. (Just finished leftovers before the jws stopped by!!!) and celebrated birthdays and holidays all year. Anyway, back to topic. I heard a car door slam. At first I thought it was the neighbor man getting ready to leave for work. He leaves around now. But I can see his truck is gone and only wife is home. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.... I am sitting at computer shopping on E-bay for x-mas present. (I can see neighbors house and our front walk from computer) I look up and one of them is just a waving hello at me through window as she walks up sidewalk. AUGH! On the window next to me are cute little santa clause window clings (8 of them) and up by the front door, where they are standing, are the children's bedroom windows with clings in them. I didn't have to worry about our daughters clings. Just pictures of snowmen. But, our son's has snowmen and SANTA CLAUSE. Can't invite them in because the living room is decorated and a stocking is hung by the fireplace with care! Do I answer the door? Sorry for yelling, but,I DO NOT WANT TO! I hid in kitchen a few seconds as the doorbell rang. Then a HARD pounding knock. I KNOW they KNOW I am here. SHE SAW ME! (Isn't it impolite to look through windows?) Do I call hubby and ask what to do? Started to. Went back and forth between "It's my house and I don't have to answer if I don't want to.""If I don't there'll be elders here and a big to do about me hiding in the house." I am not afraid of the elders. They don't hold power over me anymore. But they do hold power over my mother, sister, neice, nephew, and my husband Whole family and extended family. So I answer. I step outside to talk on porch. Now I know why other people did when I knocked on Their door. The key strategy is to never let them in!!!! Thank goodness it's the end of november in Georgia. Still mild and yet enough of a chill in the wind to get to you after a few minutes. :-) They didn't say much for those of you who are wondering. Didn't mention or allude to the window clings. Just saying were working this territory and couldn't leave without stopping to say hello and tell me they miss me. How are kids and hubby. Chit chat. Where took kids for flu shots, a great tomato soup she had the other day. The elder's wife is aux. pio. and needed one hour but wanted to go over hours a little. (I actually thought- wow! you just worked and put in overtime for a bookpublishing company for free!)She encouraged me to come back and said don't be shy. Sometimes when were away from the hall for a while we can feel intimidated. (Nope. Just repulsed be the idea). Have a nice day. Then left. How much do you want to bet I was the topic of conversation for the rest of the morning? Boy, If the family hadn't been sick over thankgiving weekend they really could have got a show. We put off till this coming weekend putting lights on outside of house, getting a tree up and some wreaths on door. Ha! I wonder if we'll be receiving a kindly shepherding call while on the ladder stringing lights? Oh well. It's all gotta hit the fan sometime doesn't it. If you're still reading, thanks for letting me share this. I needed to tell someone and seeing the only friends I have are my hubby (at work.I'll save the ulcer for him for tonight) and my grandma (never been a jw), I had to share it with you. Love you guys, Kitten Whiskers

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    I promise I put paragraphs in this for ease of reading. Where did they go?

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I think you did fine.

    Josie

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    kitten,

    welcome to the forum! Good to have you. You did fine in handling that. I am so happy that you went to the door and did not allow them to intimidate you. Don't worry it gets much easier from here. btw -is this your kid's first xmas? If so I hope they are looking forward to it. My kids are 12 and 14 and are really happy we finally put up a tree this year. This is our 3rd xmas out of the borg. Good luck and keep us posted when the elders come by, as you know they will. Lilly

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Thanx for sharing that.

    You are right about one thing - at least for most - a successful fade is usually only successful for so long b4 the poop hits the fan.

    In our case, it took about three years. But the freedom associated with being 'totally out' is wonderful for me. No concerns about what the borg is thinking of me any longer - though to be honest, that attitude is what lead the elders to corner me in October and force a DA letter.

    You don't seem to upset about it - but yes I would expect the male counterparts to your visitors to show up fairly soon - likely during the holiday period, as the evidence will be overwhelming, and they might get that 'quick resolution' that these legalistic people like to have.

    Good luck to you - and HO-HO-HO Merry Christmas.

    Jeff

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    Thanks guys! (I am apologizing for the lack of paragraphs!I don't know what is wrong. My computer guru of a husband will have to tell me later) Anyway, LOVELYLIL-I am glad I went too. I would be upset right now wondering when "they" would be back. The elders. But instead I am in control. I don't care when they come back. Just hope it doesn't cause family problems. My mother-in-law just got reinstated this past Thursday and I am sickened by what she went through for these stupid rules. She missed so much of her only daughters wedding 2 months ago. I won't ever forget what I witnessed in the bridal room as she helped her daughter get ready and then had to skulk off to view the wedding and sit in truck all night only 3 male family members went to visit her. (Her sons and one of her brothers) God what an awful day. So, in light of this, I know we will most likely be shunned except for when they want the children. That is what kills me. My husband has no family to fall back on except us and my dad and my grandmothers.Thank God they all love him and let him know. This IS our kids first christmas and ours too. Last year, my hubby was ready but I wasn't. Had my doubts but not deprogrammed yet. Now my kids are singing chirstmas carols LOUDLY in the stores. I no longer look around to see if anyone is watching as I look at holiday merchandise. Buying that first birthday card was a doozy. The kids are ecstatic and having a blast shopping. Our son had a dr. appt. and had to miss the afternoon of school and bought his sisters present and already bought one for his dad too. He's only 5. This weekend we'll do more and Friday they get their picture taken with Santa at school. I am so glad your kids are having a great holiday too. Congratulations lovelylil! Give them some christmas greetings for me! AK-JEFF You are right on that I am not too upset. I would rather it hit before they show up for us like they have for some here on xmas morning! How rude. But for kids and hubby, hopefully not at all. His folks have a layover at the airport close by on Dec. 24th and we are supposed to go see them for a couple hours at airport. Yikes. I can only imagine how packed it will be. I don't want anything to ruin our holidays. The kids have been so careful when talking on the phone not to let anything slip. They are 5 and 7. I know when it is all over there will be a great deal of relief that way. Thanks for the replies. Kitten Whiskers

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Obviously you want to be 'totally out' as Jeff put it or you wouldn't be putting Christmas lights on your house. Its a dead give away and just as effective as showing up at the KH smoking a cigarette without the health risks. I also have to agree with Jeff that it feels much better when they know where you stand and you don't have to sneak around. Secretly I think a lot of them will envy the way you broke the chains and escaped and are now doing something normal around the holidays like having fun.

    Have wonderful Watchtower free Christmas.

  • vitty
    vitty

    Im surprised they didnt ask to use the bathroom

    I had a married couple, she was a pioneer , he was an policeman elder, every bloody Monday morning they would call to use the loo.

    She once confided in me that another sister had told her that there were public toilets across the road, she was really offended untill I told her that ppl had things to do , like house work and kids and didnt appreciate uninvited guests. What the hell was I saying!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • unique1
    unique1

    WOW!!! GOOD LUCK!!

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    You did great. It's your home, your family, your life....live it and enjoy. And have lots of fun building new traditions.

    lisa

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