Need help with bad JW xmas memory.

rwagoner

Okay friends I need your help.

Growing up a jw my most vivid memory of Christmas was a cartoon my parents would put up prominently on the wall. It showed a fully decked out Santa (on the roof I think) and then on the other side of the page, (inside the house crouching near the kids bedrrom door) was satan taking off the Santa suit.

The names -- SANTA and SATAN were over each picture showing that they contained the same letters so therefore must be one in the same.

That cartoon used to scare the hell out of me when I was little. All I could picture was Santa coming into the house and turning into satan to kill us all.

I know it is stupid but asI sat here tonight watching my kids lost in the magic that is Christmas and so thrilled to dream of Santa coming it made me happy for them but also made me feel very cheated for the first time in 40+ years. How could my parents put such an image up and burn that odd terror into my 5 year old brain ?

I began searching google and other engines for the image to show my wife, who understandably can't understand how I could have been scared of Santa and why it triggered such painful and uncontrolable emotions in me all these years later.

Does anyone else remember the cartoon ? Still have a copy or know where I could look for it ? I really need to see it again to know that I wasn't crazy and maybe even burn the damn thing to get it out of my memory.

Thanks

RandyW (of the why do these memories show up all these years later..class)

Mysterious

Enjoy the goodness that your kids see through them and remind yourself that what you are seeing (them enjoying xmas with nothing bad happening) is real and alive. What you saw was a fake dead image meant to scare you as a kid. You can't get the memories you could have had back for that time is long past but you can still forge new ones and enjoy xmas with your kids and loved ones now.

rwagoner

Oh I do enjoy Christmas now. I've been out almost as long as I was in now and love the holidays.

I can't enplain it...it just never hit me until this year and for some reason tonight I remembered that cartoon. I know its totally stupid to react this way probably but now that it has I'd like to find the cartoon to show just how messed up they are and to be able to explain my reaction a little I guess. LOL

carla

if you find it will you please post it? thanks.

Scully

rwagoner

What your parents did was hideous; it was a means to an end - to implant a phobia regarding Christmas in the mind of a child. I've never heard of an image like that, but I used to know JWs who did the SANTA = SATAN thing, just verbally.

Gill

God = Dog and Dog = God!!!

See!

Does that help you see what a load of BS your parents were teaching you?

There are lots of idiot parents around and that doesn't mean you have to be one too!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Country Girl

Yikes!

Sounds like the images from that Paradise Lost book from the 50's/60's. That thing was really scary. I re-ordered that book off Ebay and showed my husband some of the images, and he couldn't believe it. He thought the Witnesses (previously) were somewhat innocuous, but the more he's gotten to know of their doctrine and their silly superstitions, the more vicious it seems to him! Seeing the images again really gives me a wierd, sick feeling. Must feel like the Santa/Satan feeling.

CG

Clam

RWagoner that's such a crumby thing to tell a kid. I'm sorry to hear you were robbed of the magic of Christmas.

I was lucky enough to have a normal childhood until the Dubs grabbed me at 13.

jgnat

Nope, not in the Paradise book. I looked. Beardless Jesus. Huh.

Maybe your parents borrowed the picture from the religious right.

http://www.balaams-ass.com/journal/resource/xmastrad.htm

lovelylil

OMG! - that is horrible what your parents did to you! No offense but your parents were real wackos! Don't feel bad, mine were too, only they were not JW's.

I can understand how you feel, I have post truamatic stress disorder due to childhood abuse and often when I least expect it, I will get a memory flashback that will deeply disturb me.

The best advice I can give you is to try to replace that bad image with a new good one. Maybe get a new Santa picture to hang on the wall for a while and this may sound funny but I always repeat this mantra when needed - I tell myself "you are o.k., no one is here to harm you, and you are safe". I know you may find it strange but I get panic attacks and are literally transformed back to the abusive situation. By reminding myself my perpetrator is gone (he is dead actually), and that I am in my safe home, it really helps me a lot. I also remind myself whenever I can that he was deeply disturbed and I cannot rely on him for any truths.

Hope all works out well for you soon, good luck, Lilly

Need help with bad JW xmas memory.

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