by blondie 35 Replies latest watchtower bible
The brothers and sisters are quickly tiring of the endless rules. In fact, it has been YEARS since our KH has had a wedding. And it is not just R&F saying forget it. Even our school overseer and his wife didn't get married in the KH!!!! That was about three years ago.
Justitia
Hi Blondie,
Sorry to hear about the ear infection
Thanks for some great comments on the JW minefield of marriage, every KH marriage I have attended over the last 50 years has failed! I cannot imagine any sane couple wanting one in a KH with all the regulations etc.
fokyc
Did anyone of you get married at a KH? What were your experiences like? No KH for me…I love an outdoor wedding. The JWs in this area assume you must have sinned sexually and couldn’t have it at the KH.
I remeber when we were courting we had a lot of pressure to court for 6 months and get married within a year. Then we were told about the privileges of having the wedding at the hall and how that would give us a clean start to married life.
Right through our courtship every week my husband to be was asked 'when are going to get engaged, have you bought the ring yet. He was a poor pioneer and could not afford a ring. The elder gave him the money so that he could go and get one and do it quickly. Then once we'd got engaged the pressure was on to set the date and remember stay 'clean' so u can have your wedding at the hall! Courtship itself was made to feel unclean
In our area it still matters whether one has the wedding at the hall or not.
Bernadette
I've been to some j-dub weddings and they did play rock and roll at the reception, so that I think, would be wild music . I love that tho it's like we're leaving it up to you but here is what you need to do . I didn't make it thru this one . shoulda been gag alert . maybe try again when my stomac settles.
Blondie, God bless you for your keen observations, I hope you feel better.
Yes, after admitting in their magazine that the "Bible does not outline exact procedures for a Christian wedding" the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society then imposes rules on how JW's weddings must be carried out. Newly additions are that "Jehovah's Witnesses do not repeat a marriage by having multiple legal ceremonies, nor do they renew marriage vows, such as on a couple's 25th or 50th wedding anniversary." Also:Let's not overlook their following commandment:"Unless local law requires something else, these vows that honor God are used. For the groom: "I [name of groom] take you [name of bride] to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God's marital arrangement." For the bride: "I [name of bride] take you [name of groom] to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God's marital arrangement.") If that civil ceremony included vows but the newly married couple want to say vows before Jehovah and the congregation, they would do so in the past tense, showing that they were already "yoked together."
"As part of honoring them, the speaker will not feature humor or folk sayings. He should not include overly personal observations that might embarrass the couple and the listeners."Everything from the where, when, and how of the ceremony and reception (including the attendees list, music, food and beverages, etc.) is under their control. This is the Watchtower at its most pharisaical in recent times. Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
"I [name of groom] take you [name of bride] to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God's marital arrangement." For the bride: "I [name of bride] take you [name of groom] to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God's marital arrangement.")
Back in the 50's, they would say, "for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement." I'm quoting this from memory for I attended several weddings that said this. I posted this several months ago, and someone found the exact quote. I think the WT taught that when the earth was filled, marriage would no longer be necessary.
Sorry to hear of your ear infection--hope the pain subsides soon!
Thank you for this article--can't wait to see next weeks!
MY KH WEDDING WAS SO LONG AND BORING (A 45 MINUTE BIBLE DISCUSSION) I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO STOMACH LISTENING TO THE TAPE THEY MADE OF IT!!!!!
I asked my godfather to give my talk, but he refused. So did an older elder in the hall whom I adored. (If this was in protest of the marriage, they never came out and said so...just sort of passive-aggressively refused without giving a reason.) I got the most talented speaker in our hall, who liked the sound of his own voice, to give the talk. I was still in high school when I got married, and invited my worldly girlfriends. They commented they had NEVER seen a bride and groom sit down during the ceremony (I wasn't about to stand 45 minutes in heels!) I, too, cannot watch the tape.
I also was urged to invite the whole hall, contrary to the article. So I pinned one up on the bulletin board, with the consent of the elders. They also let my husband's worldly sister be one of my bridesmaids. Wow. I can see now the elders in my hall doomed my marriage from the beginning!
My reception was small and simple because of money constraints. Just cake and non-alcoholic beverages. Since my hall was all elderly retirees, there was no wild dancing (or wild music.) Actually, it was all quite awkward.
And all this is dished out as ``spiritual food"....... It seems that whatever the topic, the WT studies have two things in common-- (1) they're never about the truly nourishing spiritual issues, i.e. delving into the nature of God, his toleration of evil, injustice, etc.; (2) and ALL about controlling their flock's behavior.
2) Christians have found that the advice in God's inspired Word is very helpful when a man and a woman plan to get married. (2 Timothy 3:16, 17) Granted, the Bible does not outline exact procedures for a Christian wedding. That is understandable because customs and even legal requirements vary according to location and era. For example, in ancient Israel there was no formal wedding ceremony. On the wedding day, the bridegroom brought his bride to his own home or to his father's. (Genesis 24:67;. Isaiah 61:10; Matthew 1:24) This public step constituted the wedding, without the formal ceremony common in many weddings today.
3) The Israelites recognized that step as constituting the marriage or wedding. Thereafter, they might share in a celebratory feast, such as that mentioned at John 2:1. Many Bible versions render that verse something like this: "There was a wedding in Cana." But the original-language word is well rendered "marriage feast" or "wedding banquet."* (Footnote: * The same word might be used for a feast that was not connected to a marriage. -Esther 9:22, Septuagint.) (Matthew 22:2-10; 25:10; Luke 14:8) The account makes it clear that Jesus was present at and contributed to a feast linked to a Jewish wedding.A key point, however, is that what constituted such a wedding back then differs from what is common now.
So when a couple who love each other decide to move in together in what is now referred to as a "common law marriage" and is recognized in many jurisdictions as being as valid as a marriage that is formalized with a legal ceremony, why does the WTS require that the couple takes the "legal" step of formalizing the union with a marriage ceremony? The Israelites recognized that kind of relationship as being valid, despite the lack of "legal" formalities. The Israelite and early Christian examples are good enough for the WTS in almost all other areas of life (birthday observances, not eating blood, no interfaith marriage), so why is legally binding marriage so important to the WTS, when it does not reflect ancient Israelite or early Christian practice?
Could it possibly have anything to do with the fact that the Watchtower Corporation is run by lawyers? Could it possibly have something to do with CONTROL over sexuality between couples, requiring them to "buy before you try" and condemning sexually incompatible people to a lifetime of misery with each other?
Still suffering with my ear infection; the painful throb is somewhat alleviated by the hot pack on my ear. I'm on antibiotics and ear drops. The (don't read this) bloody oozy pus is gross.
B&C:
Here is a quote from a 1952 WT re "divine termination"
*** w52 6/15 p. 363 The Marriage Ceremony ***
The minister will then ask the man to repeat after him:
"I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement."
I know that some older JWs speculated that when the earth was filled with humans that God would stop childbearing and end marriage. That statement in that WT generated this QFR:
*** w52 8/1 p. 478 Questions From Readers ***
The June 15 Watchtower on "The Marriage Ceremony", arranges for the man getting married to repeat after the minister that he will love and cherish his wife "for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement". What is meant by the words "until the divine termination of the marital arrangement"?—L. K., New York.
Some have speculated on that phrase, saying that it means until the marriage is Scripturally terminated by a divorce on the grounds of adultery. But no such unhappy conclusion of the marriage would be envisioned at the happy time of the marriage ceremony. That is not a termination initiated by God, but is a tragic one brought about by the uncleanness of the adulterous one. Others have interpreted the expression to mean when an anointed mate of one of the earthly class is finally taken to heaven to reign with Christ. The physical death of the anointed partner terminates such marriage. So that is not the thought intended. Nor should it be taken, as still others have taken it, to definitely mean that the marriage will end when the divine mandate to fill the earth will have been accomplished.
The expression is used merely to cover a possibility, to allow for any future termination that may come about through the divine providence. When the mandate to fill the earth is fulfilled, when childbearing ceases, the marriage partners may continue their association together as life companions, or they may not, depending upon the divine will at that future, distant time. We cannot say at this time what divine providence will arrange in the distant future in the new world. So this expression merely allows for some future action on the part of God that may terminate the marital arrangement, but it does not mean that such a divine termination will actually take place. We leave that entirely with the Lord for his future action, and the expression is included to show that if such future action is ever taken then all couples will gladly comply with the divine will as it is revealed at that distant time.
BTW, has anyone every heard of JWs trying to limit how many JWs in good standing can come to a wedding at the KH by making entrance by invitation only. My understanding was that a public meeting at the KH is open to everyone, even df'd or da'd people if they behave properly. Does anyone know of a wedding at the KH where the person had to present an invitation to get in (or a reception)?
Blondie
