How soon, is too soon, to remarry after your spouse dies. (page 3)

jgnat

While I understand the needs of some people, to need someone to be with, the ink on his wife's death certificate was hardly even dry, by the time he was signing a wedding certificate. Does this seem too soon to you too? How long is to short? She died one year ago this December, and he will celebrate his one year anniversary in February.

Grandpa moved fast. He had two twenty year marriages in a row, and I SWEAR he was moving in on wife number three when he died. He scandalized his children for snapping up his second wife so quickly. But he always was a happy-go-lucky guy. I think he liked being married, and he was good at it.

Zuko

I had an Aunt die very unexpectantly when I was about 15. My Uncle was on the prowl in less then three months. He got married about a year after his wife died and I remember having the conversation with my mom about the "new order". I told her I wanted to be there when he had to explain to his dead wife how he didnt feel like waiting for her so he just found a replacement. That always baffled me about people who got remarried like that. My next door n eighbor and her husband where old school witnesses. He lived to be about 72 she, about the same age, is still going. She remarried about 4 months after he died. I could never have the faith they do, that they will see them again, and not wait to be with them again. You want to talk about an awkward moment.

luna2

I've noticed this on several occassions...where the man loses his wife and then remarries very quickly. A friend of mine died of cancer and her husband was remarried inside of a month. Another friend of mine made a play for a widower who'd come to stay with his son after his wife died...they'd never met until he came up here to visit his son. They courted for a month or so and were married within three months of his wife's death.

At first glance, it does look kind of hasty. I know that the children of the man my friend married weren't too pleased with how quickly he'd found someone to replace their mother. Guess some guys (women too, I'm sure...I just don't happen to know of any that remarried quickly after their husband died) don't want to be alone.

FlyingHighNow

I'd give it at least 24 hours so's people wouldn't think you was a heartless bastard.
Gumby

Gumby, I'm glad you cleared this up and set the protocol for us. I always thought marrying the same day would be best, you know, rent the church for the funeral and then use up the rest of the hour with your wedding. Seems very pragmatic and economical to me. But hey, you're right, it would make people suspect you of being heartless. Thank you for the good, well thought out advice and the smile, on this, my only day off for the week.

I'm going to stick my disillusioned, skinned and bruised up heart out on the limb or my sleeve here and say that I am unimpressed with marriage in this modern day. It's highly over rated in my opinion. I believe it used to work better than it does now. Some folks are lucky and have a good one. For children, I think a married set of parents who dearly love each other is the optimal of circumstances. If you need the mate's health insurance, etc. then marriage is necessary. But for most of the rest of us poor saps, marriage can end up being a miserable affair/trap after the first happy years( if you're even lucky enough to have first happy years )wear off.

Signed, Flyin' who is shacked up and not thinkin' of marriage because she doesn't want to risk a third divorce~

Divorce: ick, pooey!

Mary

Well even scarier is what happened 60 days later, her husband remarries. Not to someone he met and knew for years, but rather a long time friend of his wives who he only met once and hardly knew, but got introduced to at her memorial. While I understand the needs of some people, to need someone to be with, the ink on his wife's death certificate was hardly even dry, by the time he was signing a wedding certificate.

I don't think there's any set rule as everyone is different. A friend of mine lost his mother to ovarian cancer when she was only 42. His dad loved her very much but was remarried within 6 months. His reason? He admitted to his son that he was extremely lonely. I don't think men can handle it when their wives die, as much as women handle it when their husbands die. For thousands of years, women have seen their husbands go off to war, never to return and they've had to carry on without them. In Dubdumb land, there are 10 women for every man. Many of these guys got married when they were 18 - 20 and so they've never been on their own and simply find it too difficult, so they get remarried asap.

Woofer

That seems a bit fast for me . .but I guess unless we are in their shoes we don't know.

A sister from a neighboring town was murdered for her unborn baby a few years ago - she literally had the baby cut from her body after she was shot in the head. Her murderer ended up killing herself when the cops came to her door to arrest her. It was one of those stories where a woman claims she is pregnant and is not, and then searches out a pregnant woman to steal her unborn baby.

Anyways the baby ended up ok and was not harmed. The husband (a Witness) was remarried to a friend of the family within about 6 months. The only thing I can think is that he was lonely and probably needed help with the baby.

MsMcDucket

Most people don't wait until their first wife/husband dies before they get remarried.

lawrence

My wife died of a heart attack in my arms. That was in March. The following year in November I married a habitual liar, con woman, and someone who saw me as vulnerable. The marriage was God awful and lasted 6 years, 6 more than it should have. I discovered that her hidden past included prostitution, fraud, and doing judges for legal favors. I'd recommend that people wait after a tragedy. How long? Depends on the depth of pain. The more the pain, the more vulnerable one is to a dancing set of eyes. The divorce had enough anguish to keep me single since.

Warlock

I'd give it at least 24 hours so's people wouldn't think you was a heartless bastard.

You could give 24 minutes or 24 years. Wouldn't make any difference.

Warlock (A real heartless bastard "What...........and give up my new found freedom?")

Mary

Gumby said: I'd give it at least 24 hours so's people wouldn't think you was a heartless bastard.

Wow......when did your standards go up like that?

How soon, is too soon, to remarry after your spouse dies.

Share this