How soon, is too soon, to remarry after your spouse dies.

by free2beme 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    I think that we are assuming that he was happily married.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    Well, it's possible his first marriage was "over with" before the cancer ever came.

    Another thought is that time cannot tell you not to be with someone if what you want is right in front of you.

    Last, it could just be the jw pressure of not being allowed to be human and have sex without that contract.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    I would say after 30 years of marriage this guy had "designs" on someone and was just biding time which I find disgusting.

    I can't imagine marrying someone else after 27 years of marriage with someone I really love. That somebody else would be put through the mill before I would consider them...compared against my husband which I doubt anyone could live up to.

    I bet this guy was already looking before all this happened....THE RAT!

    r.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Long enough to know the person fairly well, and that depends on you and other circumstances. I don't think it is a good idea to marry a complete stranger after 3 months, if you are single, divorced, or widowed.

    I know a man who married a friend of his wife's that he had known for 20 years. No hanky panky, but they had a friendship. His wife died and they married after 6 months. She was 82 and he was 84.

    In the long run it is no one's business but theirs.

    Blondie

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    I think that we are assuming that he was happily married.

    I'm not. And I agree with Blondie, ultimately, the elder is responsible for his own life and decisions. It's not for us to second guess or worry about. None of us has walked a mile in his shoes.

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    Discussions are often about second guessing people though. If everything was just stated to be, what they do is right in their eyes, so why mention it. We would not have anything to talk about. I have been told this man has a happy marriage, of course they are still in their first year. At the same time, when people speak of the quick marriage it is often followed with a silence or "fill in the blank" response with no one wanting to think anything other then positive about the man. I know he did not have eyes for this woman, before the death, as he did not really know her and this was in no way planned. I went to her memorial, yes in a Kingdom Hall, and he was very emotional and I know he loved his wife. It is just something, hard to swallow easy.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket
    I'm not. And I agree with Blondie, ultimately, the elder is responsible for his own life and decisions. It's not for us to second guess or worry about. None of us has walked a mile in his shoes.

    I all ready said that.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    It seems too soon, but we don't know the motivations or passions of other people. And if they are good for each other and to each other it will work out ok. He loved and took care of his wife-after death they have no further claim. Jws tend to be a bit matter of fact about these things sometimes, and he may just have thought he 'needs' to be married. Probably never learned to turn on the W/D and had run out of socks or soemthing. Or who knows. If it isn't a great passion and they are both older and mature and get it, they will probably make a good go of it.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    In my last KH, an elder's wife died.

    They had ben husband and wife for almost 40 years.

    He remarried 3 months later to an old friend of he and his late wife.

    She is not a JW.

    He is no longer an elder.

  • gumby
    gumby

    I'd give it at least 24 hours so's people wouldn't think you was a heartless bastard.

    Gumby

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit