Mothers and daughters will always have things between them-they will embarrass each other, harrass each other, hurt one anothers feelings and sometimes worse. And it isn't just about religion or boys or any 'big' thing-it could be shopping for ballet shoes, or muttering about a stupid commercial. Mother daughter relationships are funky little critters on their best days. Granted add the WT into the mix and it reaches a whole new level of frustration, but it is one particular dynamic that I won't blame the WT for. Some things in the religion hightlight it, but the issues are there regardless. Fortunately, in most of the relationships, there is enough love, humor and forgiveness to get beyond the issues-even most religion.
Witness mother's and jealousy towards their daughters...
by kittyeatzjdubs 22 Replies latest jw friends
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crazyblondeb
My parents, like most JWs, had such a bad marriage. Mom spent most of the time in bed. I literally raised my siblings when I lived at home. My stepdad had his own business, I took most of the calls. I knew alot more about the business than mom. She couldn't stand it, cause she'd have to ask me questions. She always got the "little" jabs at me. But what really took the cake was after I went to Texas to live with my real dad, she called my stepmom and told her that I had seduced my stepdad, and I'd "come between" them too!! For many years, she blamed me for "seducing my stepdad". We had an indoor pool. I'd run around the house in shorts, or a swimsuit. She couldn't stand that. Constantly at me about how I looked. I was as normal a kid as good be. My swimsuit, covered everything, per JW "code of dress"!!
shelley
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zagor
Where I lived moms usually looked after their daughters, heck even wanting to marry them occasionally to some hot single brother …
But I’ve seen similar things happening to some young males in congregation, where a parent would drive the kid into the ground (often in front of everybody) and then blame him for not being humble enough, not being teachable. . . list would go on and on. So in my experience that created two kinds of young males, those completely rebellions about the world in general (not only JWs) and those that so crashed that can’t make a single rational decision. I’m just glad that my father never was a freaking j-dub so I had more freedom than anybody until I myself screwed up by letting j-dub air enter my lungs. -
SirNose586
I did wonder whether its because she has always had her 'style' restricted by the Org. When I stopped going to meetings, I started wearing clothes I wanted to wear, not what I was told I should wear. So on went the tight tops, short skirts, I dyed my hair blonde, had a couple of tattoos, had a boob job (shock horror). Maybe she's repressed and resents the fact I now do as I please appearance-wise.
You musn't tease us now. We'd like to see a before-and-after comparison.
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gypsytart
tee hee
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Soledad
You all wouldn't believe the things my mother said and did to me when I was younger. I'd prefer not to bring it all up because the hurt is so bad. Suffice to say that both her words and her actions--including exposing my private areas in public--are part of the reasons why I hate her so much and try to stay away from her as much as possible. Going back to the topic, I don't think this is limited to JW mothers. Plenty non-JW mothers do this to their daughters too.
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Fe2O3Girl
Your mother is the one person in the world who should tell you you are beautiful - and really believe it, even if you aren't! Some people really shouldn't have children!
I had the usual teenage daughter arguments with my mum - clothes, fit, shoe style, heel height, hemlines, necklines, make up..........and God forbid I wore anything fashionable, BUT, she always told me I was beautiful, and she still does.
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mrsjones5
I agree with Fe, your mother should be the first person in the world to tell you your beautiful. I got the exact opposite from my parents. It actually hurt more when my father join in when I was a teenager in that ugly duckling stage.
In my eyes all of my children are beautiful. Hubby and I say to each other all thr time "How did we get such beautiful kids?" I don't care if no one else sees their beauty but am tickled pink when they do.
All of my kids look strikingly similar to me especially when they were in the baby stage (I've compare my baby pics to their's) and I wonder if my parents ever thought I was beautiful too.
Josie
