how about a bit o'dub poetry ? ((BARFF ALERT))

by nelly136 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    i've been seeing a few of those wonderful recycled experiences we all know and love so well

    so it seemed only right to share a bit of dub poetry to warm your scraggy cockles

    MARRY ONLY IN THE LORD - 1 Corinthians 7:39 I'd like to tell you a story, about true love at last. It's very informative and has an interesting cast. So pay close attention, it's sad but true, And don't ever think this can't happen to you. I met him during lunch break on a sunny day, He sat next to me and smiled, as I was about to pray. We talked on and on. He was such a gentleman. I wished that this moment would never end. Ah, but then it came to be the end of my lunch hour. I tell you when he stood up, he looked just like a tower! We met again and again. Our souls began to cling. I pondered in my mind, "Is this the REAL thing?" He doesn't smoke or drink, or gamble away his money. He doesn't do drugs and he's nobody's "honey". Let's face it, he's fine and he's got a great "bod". The only thing missing -- he doesn't serve Jehovah God. I'll just give him a chance, he'll change in time. I won't mind being "his", if he'd like to be "mine". My friends tried to warn me. I didn't listen or care. Little did I know my life would be one of despair. The wedding was fine. The judge married us in the fall. You see, I couldn't have a wedding in a Kingdom Hall. My dad, no, he didn't give me away. With the pain in his heart, he didn't have much to say. Mom, listen to me, please don't cry and whine. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I've got a good man and he has a good job. The only thing is, he doesn't serve Jehovah God. Everything is going fine, but recently at night. When it's time for the meeting, we just fuss and fight. He says, "Who's this God, breaking us apart? Don't go tonight dear, please follow your heart." So I listen and stay, to keep peace at home. But now oftentimes, I feel so all alone. I don't associate with the friends much at all, -To keep peace at home, I don't go to the Hall. Service and Meetings, all that's history. Today, I decorated my first Holiday Tree.. The holiday celebrations are now part of my life. You see, I must obey my husband, for I am his wife. The brothers would call. I wouldn't answer the door. I don't read the magazines. Reading is such a bore. Marrying out of the Truth, it really sets you "free". "Free" from Jehovah's love that once was in me. I just got the news! I'm having a "little one"! I can hardly wait to tell my dear "Hon". He was in a bad mood. He lost his job that day. He told me as he hit me, "That's just one more bill to pay!" Then he apologized, "I'm sorry, please forgive me Dear." I've heard those words more often than I'd like to hear. I have two jobs now. I must support my household. My husband says he'll find work, but now that's getting old. I'm tired, I'm stressed. I'm feeling very strange. My schedule at both jobs, I'll have to rearrange. I should be very happy, the baby is due any day. Things just have to get better, somehow, some way. I'm married to this man, for better or for worse. The only problem is, he doesn't put Jehovah first. The baby came today, she's so little and so light. She's not crying or making noise, something's just not right. "What could be wrong?" I thought aloud as I lay in bed. In came the doctor looking sad, and then he shook his head. "Mrs. Unbeliever," he said, "there's something I must confess.." You and the baby tested positive to the new HIV test. I started crying. I couldn't believe the words the doctor said. To know that in a short time, my child and I will be dead! Listen to me! All of you! I'm telling you to your face! To marry an Unbeliever, is a TOTAL DISGRACE. Jehovah, our Loving Father, provides for his sheep. That's why he sets the guidelines for us to hold and keep. Wait on Jehovah. In his due time He'll set things straight. Be patient, and He'll give you a Theocratic mate. One who loves Jehovah and you know that he'll do right. One who'll be there with you when it comes to "Meeting" night. A worldly man has nothing to offer - really nothing at all But unhappiness, sadness, sorrow, and a serious fall. So be wise my Sisters, and please don't try to rush things. Wait patiently on Jehovah, and accept the blessings he brings. Don't look to worldly men as mates, at your job or at the Mall. REMEMBER! Brothers that serve Jehovah are at the Kingdom Hall.

    Author Unknown
  • lost_light06
    lost_light06

    So does that mean now that I'm "worldy" I'm going to lose my job, hit my next wife and contract HIV?

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    and kill your wife and kid...dont forget that bit

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    maybe that one was a bit gloomy

    how about.........................

    IF YOU KNOW JEHOVAH’S DAY IS COMING TOMORROW

    THE TIME IS SHORT
    WHAT WILL I DO?
    I'LL STUDY MY WATCHTOWER
    MY KINGDOM MINISTRY, TOO.

    PREPARE FOR THE BOOK STUDY,
    READ ALL THE SCRIPTRES
    MAKE SOME NOTATIONS,
    EVEN STUDY THE PICTURES!

    THEN SUDDENLY YOUR'RE ZEALOUS.
    AND ALSO QUITE NERVOUS,
    AND REMEMBER HOW OFTEN,
    YOU NEGLECTED THE SERVICE.

    WHERE IS MY BIBLE?
    WHERE ARE MY BOOKS?
    GIVE ME MY BAG,
    I FORGOT HOW IT LOOKS!

    AND, OH, SO IMPORTANT,
    SINCE THERE'S ONLY ONE DAY,
    I MUST NOT FORGET,
    TO INCESSANTLY PRAY.

    MEETINGS!! MEETINGS!!
    THAT'S WHERE I MUST GO.
    FORGET ABOUT PLAY,
    IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, YOU KNOW.

    JEHOVAH'S DAY IS NOW HERE,
    AND IT DID NOT DELAY.
    I WASTED MY TIME
    MUCH WORK AND MUCH PLAY.

    HIS DAY IS NOW HERE.
    HE SITS ON HIS THRONE,
    IN RIGHTEOUSNESS JUDGES,
    TO UPRIGHTNESS PRONE.

    GOD SPEAKS HIS JUDGEMENT-

    HOW OFTEN I TOLD YOU
    THE KINGDOM TO SEEK,
    AND ALWAYS BE STEADFAST,
    THUS AVOID GETTING WEAK.

    SO HERE IS YOUR JUDGEMENT,
    WITH REGRET I DO SAY,
    YOUR RECORD IS WRITTEN,
    AND THIS IS MY DAY.

    YOUR BIBLE IS DUSTY,
    YOUR RECREATION WAS FIRST
    FOR SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE,
    YOU SELDOM WOULD THIRST.

    YOU NEGLECTED YOUR SERVICE,
    AND MEETINGS FORSOOK,
    YOUR PRAYERS WERE NOT OFTEN,

    YOU'RE NOT IN MY BOOK!!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Read that one before. It's funny how they think that this stuff doesn't exist in the congregation.

    Here's another JW poem (and I'm sure a few of you will be mad at me for this one)

    Laud our God
    Laud Jehovah God
    Make his greatness known
    Make it known
    Shout for Joy
    Sing a Joyful song
    Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
    bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

    I know, it doesn't even rhyme, and it sucks. Hey, I didn't write it!

  • kittyeatzjdubs
    kittyeatzjdubs

    So how long do I have before Matt knocks me up, hits me, and gives me AIDS? Because judging from that poem, ALL wordly men do that.

    ~luv, jojo

  • Bodhisattva1320
    Bodhisattva1320

    ok - i just puked in my mouth a little

    this is a great example of JW fear mongering- thanks for exposing that.

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    oooops sorry Bod, i maybe shoulda put a barf/bucket alert

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    Nosferatu -- I hate u! ... Why did you have to get that in my head??!!! .. LOL

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I'll write a quick one:

    Lil Ditty 'bout Jehovah but not Jack and Diane

    By Me

    I'm older and wiser and me thinks,

    Serving Jehovah majorly stinks.

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