I am so weary................ (page 2)

crazyblondeb

Hi D!

I've been out of the borg for 20 years, and I still hear that!! I still hear "Wouldn't you like to live forever with your daughter and granddaughter!" blabla blabla

mouthy

She's going to be resurrected you know, be happy for her. You KNOW it's the truth".

Sorry about Grammy DE...But maybe Grammy WILL be in the resurrection. God examines HEARTS!!! You dont know Grammy's thoughts on Jesus .before she died.... I would have said "Yes I do know the truth Thank God!!!! " & left it at that.... "Silence is Golden "the Bible says, ( Something I am afraid I cannot be,,,,, )... I open my mouth & every one knows I am a foolBut I am hoping you have some good memories to carry you over now . God Bless

juni

Good evening Dee,

I don't have any other relatives in the org. so I have never experienced what you have been going through. Though when we did come in it did change the relationship w/both sets of parents and my brother and sister. They thought we were involving ourselves w/a cult. I wished I would have listened. It would've saved our family from a lot of heartache.

You've got a lot of good support here and Mary KNOWS exactly what you're dealing with so I feel you should listen to your friend. She has your best interests at heart.

Hugs sweetie.

Juni

jgnat

"She's going to be resurrected you know, be happy for her. You KNOW it's the truth".

In my experience, JW's say this when they are grieving. I don't think they have any idea how condescending they sound. My reply, which usually shuts them right quick, is something like,

"Yes, I look forward to romping the fields of paradise with Grandma. It will be wonderful to see her again."

Even though a Witness may say the most astounding thing at any time, they'll usually stop short of telling you that you aren't invited to the party. If they do question your right to be there, how about, "I prayed to Jehovah about it and I am at peace with it."

restrangled

(((((Delilah))))

Ooh boy do I hear you! I don't have answers but totally understand your frustration.

Sending my sympathy for your loss and sympathy for your aggrevation.

Love,

r.

Mysterious

Tell them it's human to grieve and you are glad they are comforted by their hope but everyone deals with death in their own way. You aren't perfect yet you know. Why would they teach that god would have to wipe out tears and pain and death even from his faithful people if you could be stoic about it now?

Scully

(((( Delilah ))))

I used to get the you-know-it's-The-Truth™ b.s. from my mom too. Despite the fact that there are things about The Truth™ that bug her to no end, including the patriarchal misogynistic theme of the entire Religion™. It always seemed to work when I appealed to that aspect of my mom's "normal" personality (as opposed to the "cult" personality that she is wearing whenever she goes into a you-know-it's-The-Truth™ tirade).

Every so often she would complain about Brother So-and-so - there seems to be one in every congregation - he can't pronounce words with more than three syllables, has no education beyond the mid-point of high school due to starting Pioneering™ at age 14 because Armageddon Is Just Around The Corner™ some 35 years ago; his fashion sense is locked in the late 70s. She resents him being all high on his status in the congregation and being able to intimidate people in the congregation because of his position (and the fact that he is related to a CO and someone else at Bethel). There's an advantage to having been in the same congregation for as many decades as you've been a JW: it's like living in a small town, where everyone knows everything about everybody, warts and all. There's less of the superficiality that you get in transient congregations where people are moving in and out all the time, and you are more or less forced to view people through the theocratic lenses that the WTS trains you to use: everyone is loving, everyone is kind, everyone is working hard to serve Jehovah (unless you're a slacker and never go in service ), everyone is doing their best, blah blah blah.

Whenever she starts complaining about the people in the congregation, I know it's her "real" personality talking. That's when you can put in a few subtle digs about "gee, that wasn't very loving" or "the holy spirit must have been taking a nap when he was appointed" or "can you tell that he only got to be an elder because he has a penis?" It's what I think her real personality is dying to say, but she's afraid to do that, so I say it for her.

But, yes, the droning on about how we're supposed to just "know" it's The Truth™ is revolting. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is to take an extended vacation from "family" so it doesn't feel like it's been shoved down your throat the way a mother bird regurgitates warm partially digested worms down the baby bird's gizzard. mmmmm mmmmm ewwwww!!

garybuss

I sure have the mixed feelings on the choice of keeping rapport or telling them how I really feel. I'm gonna aways vote for keeping rapport because of this principle. It's their best interest over my feelings. I can still be right and not confront them. If I loose rapport, I can't help them even if they need help and nobody else will help them because they won't accept help from me.

One of my sons suffers from schizophrenia and Witnessism. He hasn't accepted contact from me since I put the first mental health hold on him on 1995. Because of the schizophrenia I had a duty as his father to completely dispense with my fears that I might anger him and that he might reject me and I had to take the steps to try to get him rational help.

So I have no regrets with my son regarding my behavior. I had to put the hold on him. I put the second hold on him in 2003. That time it was a lot easier emotionally. I'll do it again if I have to.

The Witnesses who are not psychotic are different, but they're not different in very many ways. They're delusional and irrational. Many of those I confronted, I wish I hadn't. The ones I haven't confronted, I'm glad I haven't confronted.

Some of the Witnesses were personally disrespectful to me. Some were active in advocating for the divorce lawyer and others were advising my sons to shun me. Those I didn't try to help, I respectfully asked them to keep some distance from me and my family. I suggested 100 miles to them.

I wanted to build that wall higher so I embarked on a little information distribution business aimed at the Witness recruiting practice. I wanted to make sure the elders got my message so I helped set up a public forum and I saw that all the elders I know were personally invited to that meeting. Reporters and the public were there, so no elders showed up.

What-A-Coincidence

If I hear one more JW family member tell me "You know it's the truth", I think I will go f#*$%@g postal !!!!

Well it is, it's the truth "ACCORDING TO THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES"

big difference...REFRAME their talk and it means nothing!

Finally-Free

Chew gum, HUGE WADS of it. It can save your tongue from a serious bite.

I'm not kidding.

W

I am so weary................

Share this